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Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Step-parenting

Holiday

13 replies

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 17/02/2016 17:17

We have a break booked during the May half term, and DP is due to start a new job at the end of April. Because he will still be in training/ on probation by the time we are due to go away, will they honour it? He's thinking of not going on the holiday because he doesn't want to piss them off and lose the job after his probation. It's more money and he doesn't want anything to "balls it up".

I still really want to go, and I know the kids are really excited about going too. It's a UK holiday (Haven) and it's an annual thing- they love it.

If he can't go and you were in the position, would you still take your DSC as planned, even though their dad isn't going?

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SevenOfNineTrue · 17/02/2016 17:19

Did he not mention the holiday when offered the job?

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Akire · 17/02/2016 17:22

I would talk to someone ASAP they may be able to offer it as unpaid if he can't take any holidays in probation. Or get paid it at a later date if they intend to keep him on.
Would be a shame for him not to go just because he dosnt want to risk asking. It's a perfectly normal request if you have started a new job

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CantWaitForWarmWeather · 17/02/2016 17:29

He told them at the interview so they were aware of this when they offered him the job. He's just worried that when he starts they will have "forgot" and/or won't be happy about it and will not keep him on after his probationary period.

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PutDownThatLaptop · 17/02/2016 17:36

Will Haven move the booking?

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CantWaitForWarmWeather · 17/02/2016 17:48

They could do. If we tried to move it to August for example, his probation will be over by then. But then he's already told his new employer the holiday is in May and then they might not be happy that he's changed it. Him over thinking it has got me over thinking it!

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SevenOfNineTrue · 17/02/2016 18:53

He just books the time off and, if anyone says anything, he says he was clear at interview this was pre-booked holiday.

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TendonQueen · 17/02/2016 19:22

It's totally normal for employers to honour any pre-booked holiday for a new member of staff. He's over thinking this. If he's already asked and no-one has said anything like 'WHAT? But that's the week we do X!' then it's fine and you should both stop worrying.

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GasLightShining · 17/02/2016 20:04

He told them at the interview so if they have offered him the job they are happy. If I was him I would remind them.

When I was offered my present job I had a week off at May half term booked. I asked whether they wanted me to start when I came back or work a week and go off on holiday for a week. They chose the latter.

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Bluelilies · 17/02/2016 22:07

If he's mentioned it at interview, then there shouldn't be a problem. You're allowed holidays whilst on probation and it's only a week. I think he's just worrying because it's scary starting a new job, so best you just reassure him it'll be fine. He can double check with them if he wants, but people don't have job offers withdrawn or probation not renewed because they book holidays!

To answer your question about going with the DSC if DH couldn't go, personally yes I probably would go if the DSC themselves were keen. I've taken DSD with me to a festival for a weekend without DH because she wanted to come and DH didn't want to. But depends what kind of relationship you have with them whether it would work for you, and assumes their DM isn't going to make a fuss.

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3phase · 18/02/2016 07:09

I would imagine they would honour the holiday if he mentioned it at interview.

As to taking your DSD if he can't go, I think that depends on lots of things. Would her Mum be happy for you to? What's your RL with her like? Do you feel able to discipline her?

I've taken my DSD away on holiday twice without DH. Once abroad and more recently I went away with a group of girlfriends and all of our children in the UK for a few days. There were incidents both times when I felt out of control in relation to DSD and I don't think I'll do it again.

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cannotlogin · 18/02/2016 09:56

I would personally be very pissed off if my ex's partner took our children away during a school holiday without the ex - I see my children little enough as it is from a relaxing, chilling out, spending time together perspective so if there was any chance of pulling back a few days, I would want to do that.

Having said that, mum may well have made plans which don't involve the children...

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3phase · 18/02/2016 10:32

I think it goes without saying that you'd be asking for it not to get both parents' permission before you took a SC away.

My DSD's Mum had no objection to her coming with me. The question was asked!

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CantWaitForWarmWeather · 18/02/2016 13:31

I reckon her mum would be fine with it, unless she is off work herself that week therefore I think dsd should rightly be with her mum rather than me. I'm not sure I even want to take her without DP if I'm totally honest.
We aren't going to change the date of the break. We're just going to keep it as it is and if he decides not to come I'm going to find someone else to take his place.