Hi Everyone
Just wondering if anyone else has experience of this ? My DP and I have been together for 7 years. My DD is 8 (to a previous relationship) and my SD is 10.
SD lives 100 miles away we have her EOW and for most of the school holidays (as often as we can really). We are definitely what I would call a successful blended family and SD and DD have a lovely sibling relationship. My issue is how you deal with inequalities within different households. My DD goes to brownies, attends swimming lessons and gymnastics. I think extracurricular activities are really important and she really enjoys doing them. Yes it?s a pain sometimes doing all the running around (especially working full time also) but the value she gets from them is really worthwhile.
The difficulty we have is that SD?s mum refuses to take her to any activities at all! DP is happy to pay for any activity she might wish to do but obviously she lives too far away for us to take her. SD attends gymnastics when she is here with us EOW but she can?t do swimming lessons here (mid -week only) and dance classes will not let her join as she could only attend EOW also!
I really do feel for her it must be upsetting for her to see my DD doing lots of activities while she is unable to. SD has recently asked for a Cornet for her birthday as she would really like to start doing lessons in her school. DP said yes that?s fine, we both thought it would be lovely for her to learn how to play. After discussion with her mum however it appears she doesn?t really want her to do it as she would have to take her back to school for the lesson one evening a week! It?s then left up to us to explain why she can?t go. The only solution would be to pay for a private lesson EOW but this seems crazy when her school is offering weekly lessons for free!
Her mum doesn?t work, we said we would cover all costs including her petrol ! The only reason she has a car is because DP contributed money towards it, she said she would withhold contact unless he gave her the money!
I am concerned that poor SD will end up with feelings of resentment towards DD (or us) and that will have a detrimental effect on the lovely relationship she has with DD. Just left feeling frustrated and can?t for the life of me understand why any mum would not jump at the chance for their child to get the most out of life.
I know we are all different and have alternate values but my god it just seems to stem from sheer laziness!
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5 replies
doyliewoo · 07/08/2015 14:38
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