So just about my worst fears happened today. Dsd has been phone/internet restrictions due to the amount of time spent on her phone, agreed by all. But we have been monitoring the usage as she's already had 2 strikes. This last week all has been going well, she's finally stopped spending all evening texting/messaging/facetiming....and then in a way too complicated to explain led us to find out she's been having some serious sexual activity (not intercourse) with her first ever boyfriend of 4 weeks...she's 13, about to turn 14, he's 14
My DH has informed her mum and he's going over to talk to her after school tomorrow, mum doesn't know what to say at the moment. He's also informed the boys mum who is horrified and has spoken with him, seems like she's genuinely shocked and he's full of apologies. His mum was upset they're allowed to be alone in dsd's bedroom at her mums and has told him he's not aloud in there anymore, not condoning his part in this but she does seem to have a good relationship with him and was as shocked as us
We've had all the chats and I really wasn't expecting this, she's a great kid, I love her more than anything, but I fear she's being a bit of a sheep and is doing this stuff because a couple of her friends have. DH is going mad and wanted to have a 'word' with the boy, calmed down eventually to let his mum manage him. As much as I'm not this boys biggest fan at the moment after going through messages and Internet as sad as I am to say, it doesn't seem like he was pressuring her in any way, more that she was asking him to do 'stuff' after her friends told her they had with there boyfriends
We've been together since she was a toddler and I adore her, I'm just in shock and I don't know what to say at the weekend. Tomorrow is up to her mum and dad but we've always had such an good relationship I think we should talk about it, but what do I say, or should I say anything at all? This isn't the first time she's followed friends in what they do, but never like this. (Btw, at the moment all parties have a good relationship, mum has a partner and all are involved in decisions without any animosity in case people think I'm going to annoy mum or interfere)
Plus DH wants to tell her who she should be friends with, as much as I've love to do this under the circumstances, is this realistic? I'm unsure how we can tell her not to be friends with certain girls when she goes to school with them and doesn't have other close friends? Won't this just make her miserable and more likely to act out...I don't know...
Sorry if this doesn't make the best of sense, I'm really worried/stressed and want to get her through this. Plus as a side note its me who found out first so had to break the bad news to her dad, like I've had to do about other major shite now on other occasions...I had to tell him but hate being the one to do so....
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Eek...need some advice from those who have teens....
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Jac01 · 08/06/2015 01:40
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