back story: when DH split with XW, his exW made it very difficult for him to see DSD who was 10 at the time. every time he tried to get in touch, he was told DSD did not want to see him, and to get out of their lives etc, that it would just upset DSD him being in touch. so DH backed off a bit but still sent occasional emails, plus birthday / xmas presents but never heard anything back, other than the very occasional message telling him to fuck off etc. and of course he has been paying XW a decent amount of maintenance the whole time as well.
we have been married 3 years, have a DD together who is four, and we are expecting another DC in april. DSD has never met DD
also, i will be straight with you all here, i know i risk a flaming as OWs are hated on here. but i was the OW. if it makes any difference, it was only for about a month and then DH left his XW. i regret every day how we got together, its not an excuse but i was young and immature and if i was in the same position i would never go near a married man. but at the same time it was not just a fling, we actually fell in love, and we are still really happy together and still very much in love.
after all this time, DSD finally got in touch with DH about a year ago, a short email just asking for some money, he was really happy that she had got in touch and replied straight away saying yes of course, asking how she was etc. he got no reply back. so he put the money in her account anyway.
this is happening every couple of weeks now, the emails are short and abrupt, and not very polite, no please / thank you etc. we cant really afford it. but we dont want to NOT give her the money in case she stops being in contact, and in case it gives her more fuel to hate dh. the last few months, each time she has emailed, dh has asked to meet her, to take her shopping or for lunch so he can give her the money, and she has just ignored the question. she works btw.
we feel like she is just using us for money, DH really wants to try to rebuild the relationship with her, and i would love to have her in our lives, no matter what. i am also worried as at some point he will need to tell her that we are having another baby, and that will go down like a lead balloon i am sure :(
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Step-parenting
DH's dd, 16, won't see him, but keeps asking for money
74 replies
dirtyface · 24/09/2013 11:13
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