More violence from my DSD involving her mum...

[louby44]

DP ex wife has been on the phone to him for 40 minutes. In tears, distraught.

DSD 15 and her had a fight ( a physical fight). She asked the girls to tidy their rooms this afternoon after school so she could hoover, it started an argument which escalated to verbal abuse, she called her mum a "fucking cunt" and DSD physically attacked her. DP ex hit DSD.

Also discovered that last Saturday eve she left both girls in whilst she went out. DSD13 got drunk, DSD15 + friend put her to bed where she vomited in her sleep. Luckily she was on her side. Ex-wife finds the sick the next day!! DSD13 is also smoking.

Ex wife is at end of her tether, threatening police and social services. Both girls are out of control. Have told their mum they don't want to live their anymore.

How on earth can we help them? They won't listen to their dad. They are both ok at school but homelife is not good.

I think mum needs to get CAHMs involved. I'm trying to detach myself but DP is worried sick. We live 40 miles away so not on the doorstep.

Both girls have slammed out of the house!

[elliebellys]

Louby, i think all involved desperatly need some sort of family therapy as soonas possible this situation cant be left to carry on.has mum contacted anyone yet?.such a sad situation.

[louby44]

I am SO frustrated at it all! They need to all sit down and DO something! mum has locked them out and gone to bingo!

They split in 2007 after ex wife had an affair. She ended the marriage. Of course the girls don't know the full story. I think the girls are angry at their parents for whatever reasons, but they need help.

But not my call!

[elliebellys]

Its a horrific situation,i can see why your all frustrated..could a whole family meeting be arranged as a starting point to discuss involving professional help.?

[UC]

I think your DP has to do something if their mum isn't. No good sitting 40 miles away worrying but doing nothing. No good locking them out and going to Bingo either. Someone needs to take some responsibility and DO SOMETHING. It all sounds like a terrible mess.

Sounds to me as though everyone in this situation is crying out for help - the girls, their mum, and to some extend, your DP too. I remember your holiday thread. These girls sound very out of control, very angry and very mixed up. Someone needs to help them.

If the girls don't want to live with mum any more, where do they want to live? With you? Didn't I read that one of the the DSD's is estranged?

Can your DP actually talk to his exW? It sounds as though she is communicating with him, if she's phoning him distraught. I think they are going to need to work through this together for their children. THEY are still their parents.

I don't know exactly who you would ask for help though. I wonder if you might get some good pointers from people on the teens board, I think MaryZ is a poster who has a lot of good advice in this area.

Family counselling? Anger management?