Half term

[theredhen]

So what's everybody doing at half term?

This is the first holiday we will be dealing with under the court order.

DP ex has decided to go on holiday with her boyfriend without the kids. All fine except she has decided that eldest DSD1 will be babysitting DSS at her house so won't be able to come to ours except for her "normal" weekend contact.

So it will actually only be youngest DSD3 who will be coming for half the holiday including our normal weekend as she's going to DP ex's family for ex's "half" of the week. DP's ex doesn't seem bothered about seeing DSD2 who lives with us and DP ex's family haven't asked if they can see her when they are looking after youngest DSD3 either!

DP is happy with the contact but I think it has just dawned on him that half the holidays is actually less than he was getting before because his ex always used to dictate a day here, there and in between and we used to get half the overnights and nearly all of the days, meaning we had all the cost and "time" (and washing!) but it didn't affect her maintenance.

I can't tell you how lovely it is to know what is going to happen and be able to plan. Not sitting and waiting for the ex to e-mail us HER plans that DP then scurried around to accomodate. It's also pretty good to realise that eldest DSD won't be skulking around the house for a week with a constant dialogue of how Mum does this and that and how everything is better at Mums and in the next breath asking for money or lifts.

[glasscompletelybroken]

It's same as normal here - half the week at their mums and half with us. Other than if either us or their mum is actually taking the kids away on holiday the school holidays tend to be the same as term time. Except Christmas and that's a whole other thread!

[purpleroses]

Remind me how old your DSD1 and DSS are? Guess once over 16, if the ex wants to leave them, then it's up to them if they want to stay there or come over to yours. Very odd setup with the extended family there though - so they are having the one who's court ordered to be with her mum for the days when it's her mum's turn, but haven't asked to see the one who lives with you? Hope your DSD2's not feeling to hurt by that.

In answer to your question though, we're not having the DSC at all this week - as DP's not on leave at all, and we only have the DSC when he is on leave (or at least when he's planned to be on leave, even if he then ends up working...) DSD1 will probably drop in and out as our house is convenient for her but won't stay over. We'll see the others at the weekend as usual. I'm off for 3 days and am really looking forward to a few days just with my own DCs - a rarity really as we normally have DSC every weekend. My DCs on the other hand, have been with their dad this weekend, so have been missing the DSC and asking when they'll see them next

[theredhen]

DSD1 is 16 and DSD1's boyfriend who stays all the time she is at Mums house is aged 18. Technically she is leaving DSS in the care of the boyfriend who is an adult. I suspect this goes on every weekend at Mums when the kids tell us they go to bed at 2am. DP's ex doesn't live with her boyfriend but he owns a house very nearby and I suspect she leaves the kids alone whilst staying with her boyfriend.

DSD2 isn't great at communicating her feelings (as are any of DP kids) so I really don't know how she feels about DSD1 staying at her Mums family. She might not even realise at the moment because DP nor I have told her. Not sure I want to tell her then ask her how she feels about it. Personally I think DP should ask his ex's family if they would like DSD2 and shame them into having her, but DP is a bit clingy with her, so I suspect he won't do that.

[Petal02]

Our arrangements (Thurs after school til Sat lunch time each week) run the same whether it's school holidays or not. I'm not madly keen on DSS18 spending the day alone in our otherwise empty house on the Friday of half term (I never see the point in him visiting if DH isn't around), DSS would never willfully damage anything, but he's prone to leaving the grill switched on, bath taps running etc etc. But you've got the pick your battles, and as he'll be going to Uni in September I'm just letting things go now.

[theredhen]

Petal, what do you think will happen in the holidays when DS comes home from uni? Or do you think he will choose a local uni and not board?

[WakeyCakey]

Normal here but DP has taken Friday off to take DSD out for the day.
So far that has been met with a brick wall by Ex but DSD will come over no matter what her mum thinks.

That's the beauty of buying a house a 2 min walk away from his ex. DSD is allowed to walk around the village and so she can't stop her coming over

[Petal02]

Redhen- DSS's first choice of University is the other side of country, his second choice is on the doorstep (although he's been looking at their accommodation, so I think he intends to live there if he gets in) - so I think he sees starting University as leaving home. During the Uni holidays, he can pop in and visit whenever he likes, DH has already said there won't be rostered access by then, so hopefully things will run normally. Fingers crossed ........

[Fairy130389]

At least you get to plan!!! We have NO IDEA (as usual) whether DSD mother is planning to see her, or if she even knows that it is half term so we will just arrange childcare as best we can and wait and see!!! Gotta love the joys of step parenting!

[theredhen]

Fairy, I've got no idea if the ex wil see dsd who lives with us, her mother doesn't bother communicating with us about her at all. It would kill her to ask to see her. She prefers to ask dsd directly at the last minute and then expects us to do all the ferrying around. Yep, gotta love step parenting.