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Don't give up

(6 Posts)
NotaDisneyMum Fri 16-Nov-12 08:48:51

Those of you who know my story are aware that DSD gave her Dad an ultimatum two years ago, when she was 13 years old - demanding that he choose between her and me.
When he refused, she cut off all contact.

Over the last few months, they have gradually re-established contact, and two weeks ago, she and I came face to face for the first time since her estrangement.

Yesterday, she spontaneously chose to spend the evening with me and DSS while her Dad was out. We had a lovely evening. I was overwhelmed.

I never, ever thought that she would have anything to do with me, ever again.
DP has been through hell - staying strong when it would have been so easy to give in and pander to her when she was hurling insults and accusations at him.

Now, her Mum is dealing with the consequences of her own behaviour.

redpansydress Fri 16-Nov-12 09:50:41

great to hear that. I don't actually know your story but knowing the dynamics of how these things often work I can well imagine what's gone on. It is still a complete tragedy that your DP has lost so much time with his daughter and that he and you were put through this hell- not to mention the effect it must have had on his daughter growing up.

When i hear ex's on other threads (in relationships usually) talking about what they do and say to their children about their father and how they put obstacles in the way of contact whilst putting on a show for the courts sake that they are in fact being cooperative ( rarely said outright but that's what they are doing - typical one is give him 2 options, both that work for you and accept nothing else, keep a record of what he turns down), I just remember a boyfriend of mine in my teen years who lost all contact with his father due to the barriers his mother put up, he was reconciled with his father in his mid-teens and moved in with him. Once the Mother's lies and distortions and bitterness were completely exposed- his father kept all the court docs, solicitors letters and a diary which eventually his son asked to see in order to make sense of why his dad had 'abandoned' him, basically his already poor relationship with his mother nose dived. He never forgave her for what she did and has little to do with her now, whereas he has a very good relationship with his father. His father lost a large chunk of his son's life growing up but has the rest of their life now to share, the mother by contrast is reaping what she sowed when she planted those nasty words and made life unbearable for her ex and damaged her son.

BadIdeaBear Fri 16-Nov-12 10:04:58

What great news NADM, I'm so happy to hear this from you. I hope this relationship-building continues apace. Plenty of lost time to make up for!

Fenton Fri 16-Nov-12 10:07:13

That's lovely news NADM, well done you for getting to this stage - you are made of tough stuff wink

brdgrl Fri 16-Nov-12 16:34:40

It's marvelous, NADM. Your hard work in your relationships with DH and DSCs has paid off and I hope things just keep getting better.

Kaluki Fri 16-Nov-12 17:46:24

How lovely to hear some good news on here!!
Well done NADM and good for your DP as well.

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