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Activies advice please for bonding time with 13 year old stepson

(4 Posts)
alikat724 Fri 08-Jul-11 13:30:12

Hi all!

Would be really grateful for some advice on activities or outings I could undertake with my 13 year old stepson. I am 5 months pregnant, which luckily he is actually really cool about, and DH is very keen for us to "bond". I have resisted to date, even though my DSS is a lovely kid he is (quite normally) football and playstation mad and I have minimal interest in either, so we do struggle to find common ground for conversation.

Tonight and tomorrow day it will be just the two of us for the first time so I any tips, suggestions, links etc that could help me plan something engaging for us to do would be fantastic. No real budget issues, just a major shortage of ideas!

Thanks in advance.

barleymow Fri 08-Jul-11 14:54:05

how about going to a climbing wall - there are some really good climing centres across the country and normally a great cafe alongside it - he tries something new - film him on your camera and discuss it all after, then go for pizza - everyone likes pizza smile

brdgrl Fri 08-Jul-11 18:45:17

I have a 13 year-old SS, it is harder now than it used to be as he is less keen to do things; he prefers to stay home with the video games and also he doesn't want to be spotted, by any of his school friends, spending time with a parent!
Having said that, he and I have a few interests in common; we both like fantasy movies and games, so we can bond over that a bit. We watch films together, and I tell him about the nerdy things I did when I was a pre-teenager (um, Dungeons and Dragons...)
He likes bowling, and I could do that even when pregnant. Or just take him to a movie and pizza or ice cream afterwards.
Do something he likes - let him teach you a playstation game, there are so many different sorts there might be one you don't absolutely hate!
Ask him to show you his favourite stuff on youtube.
Or maybe try to make something together for the baby - are either of you artistic or good with tools?

NanaNina Fri 08-Jul-11 20:45:36

Oh lord 13 year old boys - difficult time to try getting alongside them. As someone has already said, most boys of that age, don't like being seen out with their mom or SM anyway- it's kind of embarrassing. Anyway I think this concept of bonding can be a bit artificial - sounds like you get on well enough anyway and what 13 year old boy doesn't like football and playstation. I think kids sense when we are "trying too hard" - why not just relax and "be" - does he like cooking. He could make you both a pizza or you could take him to Pizza hut or something similar. I also think teenage boys are more at ease with their friends than with just one parent or step parent. Maybe you could take him and a mate to ride go karts if there are any nearby.

You don't have to be doing something to "bond" - bonding is a process not an event, and happens (or not) overtime.

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