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Can Aspergers have gone undiagnosed in adults(4 Posts)
I am not an expert so please forgive me if I use the wrong terminology or sound ignorant - but i have been wondering for a long while if this could be the case with my fil and bil.
It was reading the BB and eugene thread that has made me post.
My fil is now in his 60's and i have known him for 15 years. He is highly, highly intelligent and not confortable in most social situations. There are endless examples that i wont bore you with. BIL the same and too a much lesser extent even DH acts and reacts in a way to certan emotional situations that bear a similarity of his fathers and brothers behaviour. Maybe its just a family thing? But the long stories with no real 'point' to them al la Eugene feature quite strongly for FIL and BIL (amongst other things, esp saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and not seeming to understand why it was embarressing/out of place)
I am not asking this becasue I think they need 'help' or anything. They are all very successful in there professional lives for example , i am asking the opinions of others simply as I feel it may help me understand them more and hence help my relationship with them, which is as i said not an easy one.
Hope i haven't seemed too ignorant here. I've waffled i know and essentially my question is 'is it possible for a 'successful' adult to posess traits of AS which have gone undiagnosed thoughout their lives?'
In my opinion!!!
i just wish there were a simple bloodtest to 'prove' it!!!
Reason being.....2 of my 3 boys are Asperger's...i am sure i am too...then theres my dad ....and my brother.......my mum is probably OCD....and then my husband has fathered a son with his first wife who was diagnosed with AS too.
Basically...even if the person you suspect is AS either can't/won't acknowledge it (eg. My Husband!!!)..you can reap great 'rewards' by just treating them as having it.
What i mean by that is like you said...having an understanding of the person...in what can be difficult relationships etc.....best example i can think of at the moment is how frequently my husbande will do or say something hurtful...which pre-AS i would have taken so much to heart...but NOW i know about AS...i TELL him how i feel after such a remark etc....as he has NO empathy/sympathy etc...and certainly cannot 'put himself in my shoes'....i asked him once "how do you think your sister would feel if you said what you said to me to her???"...and his reply was "Well, how should i know what she thinks...i'm not her"
There's another thread similar to this one... have a look at this
It's hard to know how they would have been as children. I think a lot of people (men in particular) have many traits, but I still think to be "worthy" of a dx they need to have real problems in coping with/dealing with life. Possibly when younger so you don't see that struggle they had in an adult.
Plenty of undxed Aspies out there though!
thank you for your replies
i have to admit that as I have 2 small sons i am also concerned that they will display the more negative traits aswell - whether they be genetic 'family' traits or whatever.
fil would be a near hermit if it were not for his wife - he would be a mess. He can not do anything for himself - and this is a man who is so intelligent he has the highest of educational and professional achievments/awards etc. its hard to comprehand at times.
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