Can anyone recommend a book on how to control children with ASD please? All I can find are techniques like time out (ds doesn't mind being on his own or ignored) or things that assume that underneath it all the chid wants attention (ds doesn't). Are there any written that actually appear to start from the assumption that your child has ASD traits?
The DVD "Teach me to Listen and Obey" has an interesting final section on discipline. In it, the SALT author pleads with parents that, as a golden rule, you can only discipline at the child's receptive language level. She says that time out was originally intended for children aged 3+.
There are two DVDs so check carefully whether it's the first or the second that has the interesting bit before you order.
As for my DS2 who's a bit spectrummy, giving him choices (neither of which are the wrong thing he is trying to do) is the golden key to discipline. Meeting him head-on leads to screaming.....doesn't work. Does your lad do choice questions yet?
Here we do extreme positive parenting so all positives are noted and rewarded (was stickers now a thumbs up)We pay no attention to any bad behaviour, offer choices and incentives and they haven't been punished in years (they never worked and only escalated the bad behaviour tbh).Ds 14 has gone from being described as having extreme challenging behaviour to on his last report being described as "his effort and behaviour are second to none"
You need to find something that matters to *your child* and then use that as a reward or sanction, and do it with no anger or disappointment, just logic. It needs to be specific, if I banned mine from football he'd dance for joy. Time out never worked as a punishment, he uses it to get his act together and regain control so it's a positive strategy for him not a punishment. I always give two warnings where possible, then point out action = consequence and I never make a threat I don't carry through. I'm also very consistent about what and why and the result, it's the same every time. If you are telling them off, you need to be very specific about what it was exactly that they did/didn't do and stick to one or two facts only. I know have a lovely boy of 14 who rarely triggers a consequence because he can see the path he's heading along and knows what will happen.