Really fed up with housing situation.

[Marne]

As some of you may know we are trying to get housed via the council, at the moment we rent a very small 2 bed house, both dd's have ASD/AS and they both have sleep problems, Dd2 sleeps in the sitting room with me and DH and dd1 sleep upstairs. Dd2 takes 3-4 hours to settle at night and really needs her own room. Theres no way they can share a room because they would wake each other and neither of them would be safe in a bunk bed (no room for 2 beds in the room).

Last month dd2 got her dx of ASD and the pead wrote me a letter for the council stating both dd's needs for there own rooms and stating the problems getting dd2 to sleep downstairs etc..
I was really pleased with the letter and thought this would push us up the list for a house. We have already been on the list for 3 years and havn't heard a thing.

Dh phoned them yesterday and was told that we have to check the net each week for the properties they have on offer. We have been looking each week and the only properties they have are 1 bed sheltered housing and very rarely a 2-3 bed comes up 20 miles away from us . They told dh this was the only way to get a house . I know people in the village which have been housed who don't even come from the area and have not used the system via the net.

It makes me so angry that we have lived here for 5 years and cant get a house in the village but Joe blogs can turn up from another area/even another country and get housed straight away.

I'm really not sure what to do next, we can't carry on how we are, it effecting all of us, dd2 needs a room where she can settle and dh and i need to be able to sleep in the same room (we havn't spent a night together for 5 years).

We have some savings but we can't afford to rent private as the price for a 3 bed here is 800-1000 pound a month , we havn't got enough money to buy and couldn't get a morgage as dh only works part time and i am dd2's full time carer.

Sorry for the rant and i know there are many of you with worse problems, i just don't know where to go from here?

We don't want to move away as dd1 does not want to move schools and is doing well here.

[5inthebed]

What a nightmare for you. Have you got a priority card? CAn you speak to your local councilor?
Our council runs the same scheme, and I think it is absolutely crap. We are desperate for a house with a farden, currently live in a three bed flat, and I feel so isolated and housebound as can't let the kids play outside.

[5inthebed]

Garden obviously, not farden

[Marne]

5inthebed- our aplication has been handed over from another housing agency (which has recently stopped lettings), i have to wait for our aplication to be looked at, they wont tell me if they have looked t our aplication yet . I have just e-mailed them see if they can find our aplication and have asked for someone to come and see our house/situation. We would also like a garden, at the moment we have a small patch of concrete for a garden (better than nothing), we have a small front garden but it is open and dd2 runs onto the road . I hope you get somewhere soon 5inthebed, its a nightmare is'nt it?

[Lifeinagoldfishbowl]

can you and dh sleep in the lounge and let the girls have the bedrooms?

[Marne]

There isn't really enough room in the lounge, Dh has bad legs and needs to sleep in a bed (we cant fit a bed in the sitting room (dd2's toddler bed just fits).

[5inthebed]

We've been trying for two years . Hopefully SS will be able to help, but not holding out much hope.

Councils are so bloody annoying sometimes aren't they!

[Marne]

Our counil are saying that we need a letter from a OT regarding dd's needs, we have been refused OT (have tried twice) as they are to busy to see children with ASD .

It also anoy's me that my Grandad is living in a 3 bed council house on his own . He's in another county but it seems unfair that elderly people are still living in a 3 bed house after there family's have grown up and left home. Why not move them to 1 bed sheltered housing or a smaller property to free up the larger properties to family's?

[QueenOfFuckingEverything]

May I suggest you contact Shelter for advice? They are not just there for the homeless, they do a lot of work with people who are housed inadequately as well. Plus, the legal definition of homeless covers those who have accommodation but it is unreasonable for them to continue to occupy it - which you could well argue applies to you.

Shelter can liaise with the council and advocate for you, and IME the council will take more notice of them.

Does your council use points for allocating housing, and if so have they given you extra points following the letter from the paed?

[Marne]

Queen- thank you, i will look into 'shelter', Our council uses points/colour system (red ,amber, green), we tick all the boxes to be in the green band (urgent band) but the woman on the phone didn't seem to think it made much difference .

[Jo5677]

Hi Marne,could really empathize with your situation having been through very similar. I love in Wiltshire. It took us 4 years to get decent/adequate council housing...we're with an association now.
The council were totally unhelpful despite letters from doctors,O.T's,SS,etc. In the end i went to our local M.P,i creataed a right fuss,ringing and mailing people every day,contacting the local paper etc. Within 3 months of involving our M.P we got somewhere better than i'd hoped for. We were lucky in other ways though in that some new houses had just been built and i was willing to move as far as needed if the right house came up (not that you should have to).
It's really wrong that we should have to go to such lengths and fight for everything but if you have the energy i've learnt after 12 years of having children with disabilities that if you can make yourself the biggest pest you can it does sometimes pay of. It's horrible but i have found that the people who shout the loudest do seem to have more success. It's not like me at all to have to be that way but when i ring people now i often put on a front as i've found it gets me further than being nice like i always used to be. Will keep my fingers crossed for you that they find you something soon,take care x

[Marne]

Thanks Jo- we are in Dorset (so not far from Wiltshire), how do you go about contacting your local MP?

I told Dh that we need to keep phoning and pestering them, Dh is very shy so am i but i'm willing to do what ever it takes to get a bigger house for the dd's. DH isn't being much help as he is happy living her , he's not the one who has to deal with the dd's in the night.

[Jo5677]

My ex was also happy living where we were so i can sympathize with not getting much help too ! Like you i was the one dealing with the nights though.
I'm a shy person which is why i have to kind of put on a persona to talk to authorities and proffessionals sometimes. I still don't like doing it lol but needs must.
Anyway that aside i found our local library held days where the local M.P would hold 'clinic days' where you could go by and speak to him. I also looked him up on the net and emailed his secretary via the email address that was listed. I enlisted as many friends,family and professionals to do the same for me. My G.P was lovely and she put together a letter stating she was concerned that my lack of sleep coupled with my daughters problems could lead me to depression and that she hoped they could help.
Like everything i guess it won't be gauranteed that your M.P will find he's able to help give the council a nudge but i often have found it's worth a try. I take the tack these days that i knock on as many doors as possible and think the worst that can happen is that i get a no from people.
I spent years sleeping in my old sitting room with my daughter and wondering if life would ever get any better. It has though, a lot better and i really hope something good comes up for you on the housing front,sorry i can't offer any better advice x

[mysonben]

I can understand how frustrated you must feel, i remember when we were living in a 2 beds council flat next to a busy train track, and wanted to move.
The council housing department is just like any other public services full of red tape, waiting lists, impossible schemes, unfairness,...
i could go on.

Are you on an exchange register?
Maybe if you would consider moving a bit further i mean not in the village, you might get someone interested to move in a village in exchange for a bigger house for you.
Maybe not something you would be happy with though!?
I would continue to pester them

Good luck.

[Fluffypoms]

Deffinatly agree pestering them is the way forward we were in a two rooms.( 1 living room 1 bedroom) for 5 years with myself dh and 4 kids.

Till we moved i didnt really understand just how unhappy we were.

We only moved after ringing everyday and pestering them with the same questions/complaints day after day. I too consider myself shy but enough was enough when it starts to effect your family life. It is'nt right..

[5inthebed]

Totally know how you feel about old peole and council housing Marne. My MIL and DH's uncle both live in large three bed houses with massive gardens. Neither of them can clean them themselves (I clean MIL's once a week for her yet she still moans), they don't use their gardens at all and they rely on the council gardening service to do their gardens. They have both been offered a brand new bungalow just up the road, they are gorgeous and ideal, but will the nelly up and move. I can understand why they don't want to move, but it annoys me no end!