Would you let you DC go to tea without you?

[bunnyrabbit]

DS1 5.7 has a social communication disorder. Is on the spectrum but 'the more able end' whatever that means. Possible mild aspergers/HFA but no clarification on that.

Ok 95% of the time but can have melt downs/ tantrems/get very upset when all is not going his way/to his expectations.

Have happily left him with family and good friends as they know how to cope/manage/handle his behaviour.

I work full-time so he's in breakfast club and after school club and I only get to meet other mums (except for one I made friends with) at parties. I don't think any of the kids/parents know about his DX although he does have some 1 to 1 at school.

A mum who I have met briefly before apporoached me at a party on Saturday and said that her DD (she has twins in DS1's class) wants him to come to tea. he is also freindly with the little boy.

I was dumbfounded. Hadn't really expected this so didn't know what to say. Asked if she was sure and said he was very boisterous and can be a bit of a 'boy' she said that was fine and I could pick him up at 6!

I'm now very worried. Should I tell he about his DX? Should I let him go? I'll be at work so can't chaperone,

Help?

BR

[sc13]

I think it's great, and I'd say, go for it, and keep your fingers crossed. You don't have to tell the other mum about your DS's dx - you can if at a later stage you get friendly, and once she has formed an opinion of your DS which is independent from his dx, IYSWIM. Perhaps warn her that he doesn't like xyz/he likes to be told in advance what is going to happen. Good luck!!

[ICANDOTHAT]

I would let him go and keep your fingers crossed. He will probably be ok and if he isn't you can put it down to a tantrum. Just tell her to call you if she needs to.

My ds2 (6 yo) is dx ADHD and I never tell other parents about dx until they have got to know him quite well. Many people have their own ideas about certain dx which are incorrect and borne out of by ignorance. I'm sure he'll have a lovely time

[bunnyrabbit]

Cheers guys. I was really dithering about whether to tell her but I think you're right about preconceived ideas.

Was also concerned that, if things go wrong, I won't be conveniently waiting around the corner.

BR

[bunnyrabbit]

tclanger... DH?

[5inthebed]

How lovely for your DS1. I would be the same, not wanting them to go by themselves, actually I'm like this with my NT DS1 so goodness knows what I'll be like if DS2 (ever) gets invited somewhere without me.

I hope you feel brave enough to let him go!

[bunnyrabbit]

LOL 5.....

Yes I will let him go.... and not breathe the whole time he's there!!

Tah muchly

BR

[sc13]

Well good luck, let us know how it went!!

[bunnyrabbit]

Will do.. although we've not actually had the invite yet so she may have changed her mind

[cherrymonster]

op- ds2 sounds very similar to your ds, but he has dyspraxia and possible hfa/as. he will be 8 in june. he is going for tea to his friends birthday after school today, he goes to this friends house all the time, thankfully it is only round the corner, but its good because his friend is very similar to him so the mum knows what to expect and knows how to deal with him. very useful because it gets him out of the house for a while.