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Advice From Parents Of Children With ADHD

(9 Posts)
WestCountryLass Fri 22-Apr-05 22:27:30

I am looking for a different perspective and hope you may be able to help me.

My DS attends a mainstream pre-school nursery and there is a child in his class who has suspected ADHD. The teachers are in the process of collating evidence for him to be statemented (I think that is what it is called when they are trying to collate all the info for him to receive extra support whilst at school but am not up with these things).

Anyway, my DS has today been pushed off a bike in the playground and had his head stamped on by this child. Most days he comes home in different clothes as he has paint thrown at him and is pulled over and hurt regulalry. My son is not the only child that this child does this to but my DS is small for his age and does not fight back.

I have explained to my DS that this child is different to him and he needs extra help at school but the teachers are not always able to give it to him however given that my DS is 3 all he can see is that he goes to school and get hurt by this child.

So my question is to parents of children who have ADHD, what can I do to help my son when dealing with this child?

*Just for the record, I do not blame the school or the child, he has every right to be included in mainstream school and whilst they ahve the correct ratio of children and teachers, they cannot give this child the 1 to 1 attention he needs.

Blossomhill Fri 22-Apr-05 22:33:30

WCL - well I think it is wrong that if this little boy is endangering others that he isn't on a 1-1. I would have a word with the teacher and ask why this is happening to your son and what the school are doing about the problem. Your son is very young to be dealing with this and I think that the more parents that go in and voice there concerns then more likely this little boy will get a 1-1, which will be better for everyone.

Jayzmummy Fri 22-Apr-05 22:55:44

It is the schools responsibility to prtect the needs of all children whilist in their care.

Your son should not be exposed to such behaviour and the child in question should be recieving constant supervision if he is causing so much disruption.

If i were you I would have a chat with school head and ask what provision is being provided to support the inclusion of this child and how is his behaviour being managed in a socially acceptable manner.

Nice to see you didnt condem the child and your post obviously shows that you have a good understanding of the boys difficulties.....IME there arent many Mums about that share the same views as yourself.

TheRealMrsF Fri 22-Apr-05 23:08:05

Such a lovely post

My son has ADHD and AS and way back to when he was as young as this boy i wish to dear god that parents of his peers had complained...started a petition ....whatever....just so his needs were met .Instead i was stonewalled and ignored in the playground- and i dreaded the 'teacher approching me to tell me his latest disaster'

reality is that the child with ADHD can appear to be a 'bully' ...or 'the one' who disrupts everone else....or so on....and THAT child soon becomes 'excluded' by other kids as to be honest they are bloody scared of him (my son was never nasty- but he'd try to cuddle kids...and squeezed them too hard....and scared them to death!)

By 7 he had chose to withdraw himself to the corners of the class....sit alone on a bench etc....

yet school weren't interested.

so we slapped him on Methyphenidate (ritalin!) and suddenly he 'fitted in'

Now we are stuck- as to stop the meds would leave him struggling - unsupported...but i feel to continue is 'anything for an easy life'

However IF.....parents like you had shown concern...then maybe i would have been listened too!!!! (and maybe he'd have never suffered 2 years of low self esteem)

so...hope this helps to 'back u up'....cannot suggest much else...just wish someone like you had been around for my son.

baka Sat 23-Apr-05 00:06:16

I think its difficult to say much more than you have- but might be worth complaining to the school - extra amnuition for them to get the boy the support he needs. Otherwise- befriend his mother if you see her if you see her in the playground (assuming she;s not dreadful of course) so she knows that people understand the problems even if they don't exactly want their children at the receiving end.

WestCountryLass Sat 23-Apr-05 00:20:47

Thanks for the suggestions already, I will definitely speak to his teachers on Monday.

His teachers are recording everything and arranging appts for the little chap to get a diagnosis but until he gets a diagnosis apparantly the LEA won't allocate the finances for an assistant for him

By means of an explanation, the father brings the little boy to school and I do say hello to him and the little boy every day but they do keep themselves to themselves and don't mix with the other parents - just so you know I would extend the arm of friendship and would not encourage them to be ostracised.

WestCountryLass Sat 23-Apr-05 00:24:25

Oh, and I know his teachers do their very best in difficult circumstances. Today it was a typical case of them having to attend to two other children and the bike incident happening when their backs were turned. Difficult for all concerned

WestCountryLass Sat 23-Apr-05 00:24:25

Oh, and I know his teachers do their very best in difficult circumstances. Today it was a typical case of them having to attend to two other children and the bike incident happening when their backs were turned. Difficult for all concerned

TheRealMrsF Mon 25-Apr-05 11:26:00

WCL- i have got your CAT and will mail u back!!!

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