Strange behaviour from my son, what causes it? Help please.

[tigi]

I wonder if I can ask the advice of you knowledgable mum out there? My son is 5, and started school in September, and I am really troubled by his behaviour but just can't put my finger on the problem. He is a real Jeckle and Hyde character, such as when he is good he is adorable, very cuddly, sweet and caring, but at other times (80% time) he is really bonkers (best way to describe him really!). He squeals, and makes silly noises alot, gets very upset about silly things, is very active, flapping about, and fidgety too,and quite clumsy-trips up etc, although he is able to ride his bike now. He was referred to hospital when young as being clumsy - but discharged immediatly as being just 'clumsy'. I wouldn't say he has ADHD tendancies (or not much) as he will sit and watch TV, listen to a story for a long time, or play imaginative play for a long period. His teacher says he is just like a lolloping puppy really, and when working, he wanders away when had enough. He is quite bright, easily grasps number bonds, and is reading Y1 books, so prior to him starting school, I thought he was maybe bored, but he has still not settled down. he sems to get stressed out in busy places like the shops, and then rolls around the floor when I stop to look at anything, and is just plain daft. Although he is very boisturous (sp?), he would never hurt of hit anyone. He is a very 'touchy' little boy, and worries about me leaving him at school in the morning. He also suffers times of several days when we have wet pants when he doesn't seem to know that he wants a wee. He talks non stop in a very loud shouting voice that drives me mad too. Sorry to ramble, but it's getting me down. I have changed his diet to processed free, but don't really find this is making a difference. Any advice would be really appreciated

[Blossomhill]

bumping this up for you. I am sure there are people with more experience that can help.

[Kidstrack2]

Hope there is someone around here who can give you some helpful information. My son is 51/2 and is at school. BUMP

[blueteddy]

Some of what you describe sounds a bit like my ds, who is also 5.
He always has mad moments where he makes silly noises & does silly things!
He also has a short attention span & the teacher says he wanders around the classroom a lot.
He is also a very anxious child who has problems mixing with others, because of this.
He told me he hates going to birthday parties because he is shy of the people!
He is also a bright child who is good with numbers & his reading is really taking off.
I don't think he has AS, as he has a very good imagination, is always in some imaginary land or another, is not regimental at all & is very sensitive towards others feelings.
However I have wondered if he may be a little dyspraxic, as he was late learning to pedal a bike & often still walks down the stairs 2 feet at a time.
Apparantly dyspraxic children have problems with their concentration too.
Has his teacher expressed any concerns?

[Blossomhill]

tigi - I hope you don't mind me saying but I was thinking along the lines of dyspraxia/AS.
The the dyscovery centre has some info under helpful info.

I am not for 1 minute saying that this is what your ds has as you have only provided a snap shot.

[coppertop]

It's difficult to tell but I too thought about perhaps AS and/or sensory difficulties. The lying down on the floor in busy places sounds familiar. Ds1 used to do this a lot. Ds2 also lies down on the floor when he's had a sensory overload, eg lights too bright, too much noise, too many people etc.

It may be that he really doesn't feel when he needs to go to the toilet. Of course it may also be that he was just too absorbed in whatever else he was doing at the time.

Ds1 used to be very fidgety with his feet always moving. He loved bouncing on his mini-trampoline and that really used to help him to calm down a lot. His school has a sensory integration programme that they use for a lot of the children and it has made a huge difference to ds1. He is no longer so jittery and fidgety and has stopped running round in circles too. It's a mainstream primary school so it's possible that your ds's school may have something similar. If not then a trampoline/trampette is really useful. Ds2 is still at the fidgety and jittery stage. He can't even seem to stay still when he is sleeping. He does a lot of running around. Ds2 is very active but not hyperactive in the clinical sense of the word. He has excellent balance but ds1 is pretty clumsy and always has a collection of bruises on his legs.

Ds1 is nearly 5 and has a diagnosis of ASD. Ds2 is 2.2yrs and has a preliminary diagnosis of AS/ASD.

[tigi]

thanks for replying. I'd already had a quick look at the 'Dyscovery' site- I think it was Blossom Hill who posted this before- so thanks for sharing this info. I am just concerned because he is really isn't a 'settled child' always tearful, never very happy- although i don't think he has a reason to be sad, very cuddly to me, loves little girls because they tend to be more 'touchy feely' and gentle to him. I just fell so embarrased of his a lot lately. I don't know any of his friends who are 'silly' like this, with the squeals, and fidgets - teatime takes forever beacause he forgets to chew. I feel he may get stressed out and mithered by crowds/busy atmospheres, and then acts like a lunatic- he doesn't need another child to stimulate him! All his teacher has said is that he doesn't sit long before he gets fed up. He has a school hearing test next week, because I did wonder if he seemed worse lately (behaviour , grumpy,and shouting) because he can't hear? I don't know really- I just know his friends aren't like him, and I wonder if he gets more stressed? I will have another mull on the dyscovery site.......

[Jayzmummy]

It sounds very much like your son is having sensory overload. i would go and have a chat with school and discuss his difficulties.....get some feedback from then and then go and see your GP asap. Chat with GP about his problems and give feedback from school.....see how that goes.

[tigi]

I've just been having a nose about on various sites, and some sensory issues (but not all) do fit him such as -
www.therapyinpraxisltd.co.uk/html/sensory_integration.html

this site says about
foods, being easily distracted by sounds, or a fearful reaction to ordinary movement activities, i.e., swings and roundabouts in playgrounds.

Under reactive to the above stimulation ~ in contrast to the overly sensitive child, an under-responsive child may seek out intense sensory experiences such as body whirling or crashing into objects. He or she may seem oblivious to pain or to his / her body position. Some children fluctuate between the extremes of over- and under - responsiveness.

Easily distracted

Activity level that is unusually high or unusually low ~ the child may be constantly on the move, may be slow to be activated or get fatigued easily. Again, some children may fluctuate from one extreme to the other.

Co-ordination problems ~ this can be seen in gross and fine motor activities. Some children may have unusually poor balance. While others have great difficulty learning to do a new task that requires co-ordination between different body parts.

Impulsive, lacking in self-control

Inability to unwind or calm self

Poor organisation of behaviour ~ the child may be impulsive or distractible and show a lack of planning in approach to tasks. Some children may have difficulty adjusting to a new situation. Others may react with frustration, aggression or withdrawal when they encounter failures.

Typically, a child with sensory integrative disorder will show more than one of the above signs. However, not all children with learning, motor co-ordination or behavioural problems have an underlying sensory integrative disorder.

other sites refer to behaviour being 'all over the place' which is exactly what I say! (and 'calm down')

[coppertop]

I've just seen your post on the other thread, Tigi. I hope you're okay and don't feel put off posting on here. I'm definitely no expert but would be glad to help you out if I can.

[Cosmo74]

I must have your DS's twin - my DS who was 5 in Feb is exactly the same - we started him on fish oils and that seemed to help a little but he is still 'all over the place' cannot settle etc.. his school have asked for an assessment from Ed Psych. and I also asked my GP to refer him for assessment as it can take a while in the area we live - you may have seen my other post that now we have a problem as the only Community Paed. in our area retired and they have not even advertised her job yet so we are looking at waiting at least another 12-18 months for initial assessment - sorry I couldn't be more help but would love if you could keep us posted on how you get on.

Have you or the school asked for an assessment? Is your DS on an IEP?

My DS's teacher says that DS is very very bright and ahead of most of the other kids in his class but he just cannot sit and listen at all and is very implusive at times which can lead to accidents!! Also have the problems with the toliet - I have to constantly tell him to go which ends up as a screaming match every time but hey don't we just love them!!

[Jimjams]

The best book on SID (and cheap too) is the out of sync child by carole something beginning with k (karowitz or something). It's stocked in Amazon, is a paperback and very useful. IIRC it gives exercises and stuff you can do as well to help (rolling in duvets etc).

[chonky]

tigi, if you want a copy of the Out of Sync child then CAT me - I'm done with my copy and you can have it.

[crazyandconfused]

Sound just like my ds, he will be visiting a child behavioral psycologist(SP?) on thursday, if you wanted yours to do the same just visit the health visitor and they can refer him?

[tigi]

thank you all for your kind posts. i had been a bit upset about the 'other post'- felt I was being picked on.
I tried to get the 'out of synch child' from library but they didnt have it, so I have another book on order.
It is just a horrid feeling that as my son gets older, he is now noticibly different controlling his behavior than his friends, and I feel so embarrased at times (he is 5). He is exactly 'all over the place' this is what I say to my mum alot! He has had a hearing test at school today, and failed, which I expected, so has a re-test in 2 weeks. He talks very loudly all the time, and either very sad or happy in his emotions, there is no middle ground. I have noticed lately that he squeals and makes shrill silly noises all the time. I really do feel it is a sensory problem from reading the limited info I have found. He is a bright child, but justs gets 'fed up' sitting, but not that I would say ADHD, or even naughty. I just think he gets stressed and doesnt know what to do with himself. I will wait for his hearing test and then see what to do.

[Jayzmummy]

tigi....from what you have just written I would feel fairly confident in saying that your ds is having sensory problems. Your description of him sounds just you were talking about J!!!

The Out of Synch book is an excellent read and explains SID in such an easy way. I would recommend you grab a copy and have a read.

[juniperdewdrop]

PDD online assesment
I've just redone this test today for DS2. I don't know how credible it is though? I think I picked it up on mumsnet but I could be wrong?

[Blossomhill]

I hope u don't mind me asking jd, but what was the score?

[juniperdewdrop]

his score was 57 but used to be in the 60s. I was very thorough when answering the Qs too so as not to miss anything.

[Cosmo74]

Oh no - I just done this test for DS and got 144 which suggets moderate PDD - how accurate is this test - anyone?

[coppertop]

I think these kinds of tests are really only a very rough guide tbh. It's very difficult to judge whether something is mild or moderate. Some questions give you a guide to answering them but it's still not exact IMHO. I could probably do this online test 10 times and still come up with a different score each time.

[juniperdewdrop]

Not really sure how reliable they are tbh? Maybe I shouldn't have put it on? It's always best to see someone qualified anyway.

[coppertop]

I think the link was a good idea tbh. It can be really useful if you're worried, do the test and then get a low score. If you get a higher score it's kind of a red flag to let you know that it's worth looking into further IMHO.

[juniperdewdrop]

ok feel better now

[coppertop]

There was a thread recently where someone was worrying about ASD. Someone else posted a link to that online test for them. They did the test and got a low score and felt much better - so it obviously helps.

[Cosmo74]

Juniperdewdrop - please do not feel bad about posting the link - it is kind of a releif for me even though DS scored high but at least I know that there is something there with him - as I have to wait so long for assessment and as grandparents keep telling me that he is just a normal 5 year old it put my mind to rest that I am not imagining all this and that I am right to fight to get him assessed.

I told DH about it too and he agreed then that we should try all we could to get DS some help before I think he thought I was obsessing to much about it all.

So Thanks you.

That said I know they are not 100% accurate but it gives you an idea if there is any problems/difficulities.