fed up with my childs behaviour, don't know what the problem is

[triggerfish]

First time on mumsnet, friend recommended I may get some helpful advice here!
DS1 has periods of great behaviour (sometimes for months) and then something changes and he becomes hideous and unbearable. His behaviour affects him at school so he will not cooperate unless the whole situation goes his way. We don't know what triggers the change. It has been suggested that he may have Asperges?

[Dragonbutter]

bumping for my friend.

[Dragonbutter]

really, nobody around?

[triggerfish]

He really doesn't cope with sudden change - he needs lots of preparation for new situations. He needs to know he has a 'get out' from situations. He may manipulate situations to achieve this. He gets very angry if asked to do something when he's not ready. He can't control his anger very well - extreme behaviour compared to his peers.

[triggerfish]

I find it exhausting having to always think of ways to distract him from confrontation. Having tricks up my sleeve just to get him away from places and to get in the car. I feel like just screaming sometimes and yelling at him to get in the car NOW! I know that would only make things worse.

[triggerfish]

Hi there, there was no delay in speech and all other areas of development. Infact he was and still is way ahead of his peers. He is very bright with a language/reading age of about 3 years ahead of his age. The thing that has always been an issue is his inability to cope with social/group situations. If he doesn't feel confident, theres no convincing him it will be ok until he wants to take part!

[triggerfish]

Forgot to mention about changing classes/teachers! It all depends on the first impressions. If they set very clear outlines and boundaries, he knows where he stands from the outset. But if they spring things on him in a casual way, he will not comply at all. Sitting under tables etc.. is not uncommon in these situations, especially for supply teachers who he doesn't know so well. He definately plays the system so he is in control.

[triggerfish]

thanks for your advice, its really helpful just chatting about it. I'm struggling with all the abbreviations but hopefully it will make sense soon?!

[triggerfish]

that helps!! thankyou!