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I need help and advice - PLEASE!!!

(16 Posts)
lars Fri 25-Feb-05 01:54:34

Where do I start. Ds has o.d.d, speech delay and mild global development delay.
Ds has had many exclusions and now only goes to school until midday age 7.
We have all agencies involved and the ED pshy has gone in to assess for a statement. School has said i was told about the interview but I wasn't. I was told he was going in but I was not invited to attend. Therefore there is no parental input and i'm not totally happy with things in the report either what the school have said.
The school doesn't even let ds inter act outside ( taught out side of class seting at the moment). Not allowed out of the school and they fear he may get out of school. Many kids have got out of the school before due to inadequate fencing around school.
I tried talking ipsea no repsonse from them.
Basically i got a review in 2 weeks and nobody to represent me or my ds and i'm fed up with the whole situation. I t is not easy to find another school when your in this position ( as ds is being intergrated back after summer term exclusion. help larsxx

JaysMum Fri 25-Feb-05 02:17:21

Have you tried your local parent partnership?
There should be someone at IPSEA....they do have odd opening hours but they should be there....just keep trying the number.

lars Fri 25-Feb-05 02:26:52

Yes i've spoken to parentpartnership but some how i do feel they cover each other's back and can only advice. Ipsea Ive fax details and left my number but no repsonse as yet. lars

MeerkatsUnite Fri 25-Feb-05 06:56:10


This is an appalling situation made no better by the presumption that there is no Statement here for your son.

Can only suggest you keep calling IPSEA by phone. Kepp on to them, you will get through to them. Their website address is

lars Fri 25-Feb-05 07:40:24

Thanks I will keep calling but i cannot get through. The situation is even worse than this.
Sarcastic letters saying if we don't pick our son up when requried they will call socail services- btw socail service thought we needed legal advice but because we earn too much child's legal centre - just over the means test couldn't help us. Also school saying he cannot come in when there is no support for him one to one with senco. I was told only last week don't bring him in as no support today. It awful , i was working that day and had to take the day off work. I am so fed up with this situation and that i REALLY NEED SOME HELP WITH THIS. Larsxx

JaysMum Fri 25-Feb-05 08:22:34

Lars....will CAT you some info that might be useful.

lars Fri 25-Feb-05 08:32:50

Hi Jaysmum thanks any advice greatly received.
Ive not been posted for a while as I feel that all my time is take up with the school. larsxx

JaysMum Fri 25-Feb-05 08:42:43

You are not accepting CAT's .......I'll try and get some one who I know who will be able to offer you some sound advice to come and post here.

lars Fri 25-Feb-05 08:46:41

Thanks - no sure why??

Keane Fri 25-Feb-05 08:48:22

oh lars how awful

what is o.d.d?

I would suggest ipsea aswell. have you spoken to your local mp? or local paper? The siotuation sounds awful for you all

JaysMum Fri 25-Feb-05 08:49:01

you need to OK acceptance of CAT's in your member profile.....would be quicker if you did this instaed of me contacting the other person....

lars Fri 25-Feb-05 08:53:43

I've clicked ok , but messages are blocked???

JaysMum Fri 25-Feb-05 09:02:07

Have sent you a's working OK now!!!!

Clariebelle Sat 26-Feb-05 15:17:45

Hi Lars just read your message 25/2/05 1.54am. This sounds like the school I had to remove my child from. I think that unless your child is in a school which trusts your judgement and wants to help your fighting a losing battle. I had to phone J's EP every week and just go on and on and on.... Have only just joined this web site and am already more depressed at the number of us out there with the same problems to fight the system. I live in Essex see my thread anyone out there in Essex. Perhaps If in same area I might have some contacts you havn't tried. I am under Braintree District Council.

lars Sat 26-Feb-05 20:50:24

Hi Clairebelle, Essex are worse i've been told for special needs. Epping forest district. I really would love to hear of your experiences,etc. larsxx

Clariebelle Sun 27-Feb-05 19:38:54

Lars, Essex seems to be completely in denial about ASD type special needs. I have had to fight all the way and write letters make millions of phone calls. When ds2 was 3 I went to the local papers and had half page spread with photos to get them to highlight lack of SALT in Witham area. I also went to local MP and told him what crap the services was. I also stood up in front of 300 at the Health Authority AGM and told them all how SALT was in dire straits. My heart was pounding but I looked cool calm and collected! More recently I have kept daily diary notes on Jake's anxiety and problems he's experienced at school. I go in school every morning and speak with his teacher who comes from heaven by the way and is fantastic!!!!! I just keep on and on about it all the time. I think this is the only way to get what you want. BUT you have to be completely clear about what you want for your child where you want it implemented and why. Unless you have the answers to all this they won't give you the time of day and come across as knowing better. I recently went to the Special Education Needs Department in Braintree and just sat there until someone came and talked to me. I said during my calm discussions of how my son could no longer deal with Mainstream School that: " you lot always say that the parents know the child better than anyone else. However you want your cake and eat it, as when it comes down to statementing, schooling etc YOU LOT think you know best!!!!!! I have always asked the questions of Class Teachers, TA's, Head Teachers, SENCO's, EP's, Phys..thingymibobs, and all the rest of them "THAT SOUNDS GREAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING BUT WHO AND HOW IS THAT GOING TO BE IMPLEMENTED?" Without implementation an IEP a Management Strategy and the rest of it is completly useless. My son finds playtimes very difficult and has done since year Reception. On his Year 5 IEP he has things on there that are the same as when he was 5. My question - either you lot can't/won't help him or he can't be helped which is it?... I believe that I am on the brink of getting what I want finally. I have been told verbally not in writing I add, that a place wihtin Mild to Moderate special school will be available after the easter break. Because I don't believe anything unless in writing I have not told J anything about this. I have to wait a bit longer. Anyone worried about changing schools for kids like this should'nt be. I worried for days when I removed him in May 04 to change to another school. He didn't bat an eyelid just put on another colour uniform and off he went. He still didn't make friends and after initial "honeymoon" period of good behaviour showed his true colours and so the cycle began agian!!! All the staff at his school are fantastic BUT admit they are not trained to deal with J and his difficulties. I actually sat at the Head Teachers desk at her computer while the school SENCO was busy elsewhere writing my son's report for his statement becuase they were inexperienced and unable to put across things how I wanted them said!!! Shocking but true - TRUST NO ONE only MUM knows best xxxxx must stop now dh thinks I've gone AWOL! Need some us time now!xxxx

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