Am I taking too much too heart?

[MrsFROSTgetful]

ds2 brought home a letter from school today about a class trip they are going on next week- they are taking part in a dance workshop.

he has a dx of AS ....and though he is 'good' at school i know that this will challenge him as he will be 'out of school routine' etc.

so......the letter goes on to state that

"As we are Ambasadours for our school, We are only prepared to take those children that we feel will behave...."

I feel OUTRAGED by this.

This school has a high number of SEN - and this statement seems to go against all i thought the school stood for.

Surely they could have just asked for permission to take approx 30 children on the trip....and then having organised a 'fun afternoon' for the remainder....announced a list of those going on friday.(ahead of the trip next week)

that way we would be unaware of their need to only take the well behaved....and all children in some way would have been having a special afternoon?????

[thedogmother]

Yes, this is bad form by the school and they should certainly have reworded this letter. I would imagine there are going to be several parents upset by this, not just you and you are right to be outraged.

You should have a word with the headmaster or the governors.

[Blu]

Isn't it a ploy of some kind, to get parents to encourage children to behave themselves? It does seem insensitive and tactless - perhaps you might calmly say to his teacher that you assume they meant 'behave to the best of their ability' as you are sure they would not want to discriminate against SEN children. That might make them think it out a bit more.

[MrsFROSTgetful]

thankyou.... i am also a bit miffed because 3 weeks ago i asked them to contact the Autism outreach team to observe my son and ?statementing?- and to date they haven't....so i feel i have 'grounds' to ask how they will support my son so that he is able to be included NOT EXCLUDED in this 'mainstream activity'

[MrsFROSTgetful]

blu- good idea!

just as annoying is that they also state that
"the children will need to be smartly dressed in a white T-shirt"....now this school is in the centre of a very deprived area....and there are many families i can think of who will struggle to make sure the kids are in 'white t shirts'......hope you know what i am saying here.....for some parents it is as much as theyy can do to just get through the day.

the surrounding estate is such that there is NO PARENT SUPPORT for fetes/trips /reading etc....maybe the real reason for parents avoiding getting involved is more to do with the attitude of the school??? and not where they live etc?

[Blu]

What on earth is this event? I work for an organisation that often runs and hosts workshops for children, and we would never dream of putting pressure on about clothing (except we would say loose - and old so that they can lie on the floor etc).
Is it something that will be televised or filmed for something? Is some dane co looking for children to be in a promptional video or photo? If so you should be informed and be signing consent forms..

[macwoozy]

Got to say I would be totally miffed with this. How can they exclude certain children for whatever reason. I get so annoyed with the insensitivity of some of these so called professionals. If there is a high proportion of SEN children then surely they should be more accepting of the behaviour from such children. I am just waiting for this to happen to me one day

[coppertop]

I'd be tempted to ask for written confirmation of:

(a) What they mean by "behave" and how this relates to children with SN.

(b) How they plan to assess who will/won't behave.

I agree with your comments about the white T-shirt. At ds1's school they don't even have a specified colour T-shirt for PE. They only need to be wearing something that is in one of the school's colours. Saying that the children must wear a white T-shirt might be a trivial thing in some schools but in other areas it can be difficult.

I'd be interested to know what the SENCO thinks about it.

[Merlot]

I think that's terrible . I think Coppertop's post is spot on - how discriminatory can you get?

[MrsFROSTgetful]

I AM TERRIBLE ABOUT 'CONFRONTATIONS' BUT FEEL THIS IS NOT ON- AND EVEN IF I AM THE ONLY MUM WHO CARES ENOUGH TO COMPLAIN...I WILL!

[Blossomhill]

Do it in writing though Mrs F as they have to reply within 3 working days, by law!

[JakB]

Apalling, Mrs F, absolutely. Definitely complain

[ThomCat]

How wrong can you get. Blu and Coppertop have it spot on. Write that letter girl and practice it here and get others to help if that helps you.

[Davros]

I think this is outrageous too MrsF, yet again it is you who has to take things up. Maybe do a trawl of this thread for everyone's good suggestions and use that as the basis of your letter, save you starting from scratch? I think they should provide 2 activities and leave it to parents to judge which will suit their child best, not if their child will suit the activity iyswim