so [angry] - I need to rant!!

[Nat1H]

My DS2 started school last week. He has CP and epilepsy etc. etc.
I was worried about the person the school had chosen to be his 1:1 at the end of last term, but thought I would give her the benefit of the doubt.
God, I wish I hadn't!
When he used to go into school last year, she 'mothered' him (or smothered - whichever you prefer).
I have now found out that she has NO common sense either.
He has problems eating as he cannot move food around his mouth. He tends to finger feed and place the food in the easiest place for him to chew. One day last week the snack they gave him was carrots. At the end of the day his 1:1 told me that he hadn't eaten his carrot, but had drunk all his milk and then asked when dinnertime was. (obviously starving). I had actually taken a snack in for him, but had forgotten to tell her
I asked her if she had chopped the carrot up for him and she looked surprised and said 'no'. Is it me, or would this be common sense - particularly has she as supposedly read an extensive list of his problems and how they can be approached.
On the very first day of school I gave her a toddler toilet seat from mothercare for him to use on the toilet. (He will only sit on the spongy ones!) When we arrived at school this morning he said he had done a poo, so I went to change his nappy. I was going to sit him on the toilet while I sorted myself out (as you do), but couldn't find the seat anywhere. (this toilet is only used by my DS and one other child) When I got back to DS classroom I asked where the seat was and she said she didn't know . I later found out from a different TA who supports him at lunchtime that she had been told not to sit him on the toilet as they weren't trying to train him. WTF!!!
His 1:1 also sits with him on her knee during assembly (I found out last night from another parent)
I am fuming about this, but don't quite know how to approach it. I usually attack with all guns blazing, but I really like the school and don't want to spoil it for DS2.
How do I approach it carefully and tactfully please

[anonandlikeit]

Nat, you have my sympathies. It is difficult.

personaly i would have a word with SENCO or class/head teacher (whoever you have the best relationship with).
I think i would say, its wonderful that he is given so much support but it is essential that he is given as much independance as possible not only for his development but also his confidence & inclusion etc etc.
Say that it is so important that he, for example sits with his classmates at assembly, is able to join in at snack time if food is given appropriately i.e cut up & remind them that you are toilet training & ask them again to keep this going in school.
Perhaps say that his 1 to1 should be shadowing him rather than doing things for him & only stepping in to help when its clear he is not going to do something.

[Nat1H]

I would have thought that this was obvious TBH! It has been discussed in the past and everyone agreed to it. I am seriously worried about how he is going to learn in an environment where he is being mothered all the time. (which is what i think will be happening)
The SENCO is the Head teacher - but she is off sick today.
I really don't think the 1:1 has enough drive to support a child with needs such as DS2's. He will need work to be planned separately and lots of separate input if he is going to learn anything. (I was a primary school teacher inmy past life!).
I get the feeling that this lady will not be bothered planning activities for him in her own time .
I really think she is too old for the job, if I am being honest.

[anonandlikeit]

Go with your gut instinct if you think she isn't right for the job then you are going to have to voice your concerns. Its not easy is it, particularly when its an individual that is the problem rather than the school.

You are just going to have to lay your cards on the head. You never know they may ahve similar concerns!

We are fortunate ds2's 1 to 1 is great but there are a couple of LSA's at the school that i would not be happy with.
Good luck!

[anonandlikeit]

OOPs cards on the table not the Head.

[Romy7]

dd2 started today but i am quietly confident about her LSAs... i would definitely wait until the head is back and ask to discuss the style of support given... ie more towards inclusion and education rather than caring... sitting on her lap at assembly immediately singles him out. can he sit unsupported? or does he find that an element of support is better? it may be that they haven't worked out the best way to do it yet - dd2 is better with a chair or back rest if she has to sit for long period for example...
on the carrot thing - we have exactly the same issues here - i have found it beneficial for SLT to write a report with guidelines for 'bite and stay firm' foods, and the notes are held on the 'allergy' register at school... i'm dead chuffed today though, as the LSA looked in her bag to see if there was an alternative to the hard pear that everyone else had - and i'd remembered to put a banana in (although i'd forgotten to tell them that...
i'm really very strict about the staff being there to educate and aid inclusion, rather than stroking her and telling me how sweet she is...
toileting - can you get a copy of the care plan and get it copied for all of the staff concerned? i'd just say to the head 'i wonder if you could promulgate this - some of the staff don't seem to have been briefed and it's confusing for ds'
don't fret - it's early days - just grit your teeth and go into 'educate the grown-ups' mode - you can make it right, and it's too early to do gun's blazing...

[Romy7]

oh, just a thought - does his statement include non-contact time for the LSA to plan activities? just wondering - i know ours doesn't, and non-contact time is fairly thin on the ground round here - you've done very well if you've got that far!

[Nat1H]

His statement is out of date TBH and is due to be updated. I am more pised off because I fought for the 1:1 allocation he has now got. In order to get full time support, I wrote a letter of complaint to the LEA detailing his problems and why he needed support at banding level F rather than E. ALL his needs and ways of coping with them are listed in this letter, and the TA has (supposedly) read this to get a clearer idea of how to support him - in ADDITION to speaking with me about it.
The TA who is supporting him at lunchtime is wonderful and has obviously read the letter and taken it on board.
I really feel it is probably too early to be judging, but I honestly think this 1:1 isn't (and won't be) up to the job.
As I said before, I used to be a teacher, and was a peripatetic teacher for a while (moving around schools teaching a particular subject). I have seen all too often how crap laid back TA's can ruin a child's education and inclusion within the class.
What makes it worse is that I have worked in this school as my older son also attends, and I know the staff well. Just don't want to break the friendships/good relationships I have made with the staff by complaining.

[Nat1H]

His statement is out of date TBH and is due to be updated. I am more pised off because I fought for the 1:1 allocation he has now got. In order to get full time support, I wrote a letter of complaint to the LEA detailing his problems and why he needed support at banding level F rather than E. ALL his needs and ways of coping with them are listed in this letter, and the TA has (supposedly) read this to get a clearer idea of how to support him - in ADDITION to speaking with me about it.
The TA who is supporting him at lunchtime is wonderful and has obviously read the letter and taken it on board.
I really feel it is probably too early to be judging, but I honestly think this 1:1 isn't (and won't be) up to the job.
As I said before, I used to be a teacher, and was a peripatetic teacher for a while (moving around schools teaching a particular subject). I have seen all too often how crap laid back TA's can ruin a child's education and inclusion within the class.
What makes it worse is that I have worked in this school as my older son also attends, and I know the staff well. Just don't want to break the friendships/good relationships I have made with the staff by complaining.

[Nat1H]

Ooops - sorry!