DS1 has Aspergers and is actually really quite high functioning. Yes he has communication difficulties and isn't very aware of the ways of the world and the dangers that can lurk out there (cars, strangers etc) but not a lot gets past him tbh.
Yesterday was DS1's first day at mainstream school. His preschool were excellent at treating him like all the other children (albeit using visual timetables etc) and subtly giving him help when he needed it, so not setting him up to fail but not making him feel too different from his peers. Thing is with DS1 he likes to be like his friends it's almost like he doesn't know how iygwim.
I just hate the way his new mainstream school are treating him so differently to the other children.
They're saying he can only attend three mornings a week, and even then only go in after assembly has finished (so only a two and a half hour session). I strongly disagreed and voiced my opinion via my portage home visitor, although unfortunately I was unable to attend the meeting to put my views across as I was still in hospital after having DD (a crash emergency section).
Their reasoning is that they don't think he can cope with five mornings (I disagree) and that he will be disruptive in assembly (I disagree and tbh all four year olds have to learn the form with assembly surely?).
I knew that being treated differently to his peers would make DS1 anxious, and that he WOULD notice. They wouldn't listen, they knew best and this is what they do with special needs children apparently. Never mind that special needs children are all vastly different and need completely different strategies. What they are imposing on DS1 now would be very appropriate for DS2 for example so I wouldn't object, but it's not right for DS1.
So, we're getting there after everyone else has got back from assembly. DS1 thinks he's late and it's making him anxious as hell which means he's jittery and unsettled to start the day. Of course this is now fulfilling their prediction that he would find it tough to cope but it's THEIR F ACTIONS that are making him this way. We're leaving at lunch whilst all his friends are still there (they're all full time this week) and DS1 asking if everyone is going home now - when I say no he wants to stay but of course that's not possible as the school won't let him.
They're taking these measures to 'help him settle better'. Well I know my son and I knew what would happen but no those dipshits overruled me because they know best. Well they don't and they are discriminating against my son and I feel bloody complicit in the discrimination because I can't sort it out.
It's tearing me up to see him upset like this. He's asking me why he has to go there late and why he has to leave early and I just don't know how to explain it to him without affecting his self esteem.
I went to collect him at lunch today and I was running ten minutes early. DS1 was already in the school reception area waiting for me so he hasn't even had the two and a half hour session he should have.
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I'm really upset and don't know what to do next.
18 replies
Glitterknickaz · 05/09/2008 13:09
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