really bad metldowns in dd

[knat]

dd is asd (prob hfa or aspergers) she's 4.9. Her behaviour recently has been really bad - at home we always have mild meltdowns but nothing too extreme always worse at preschool as she gets anxious there. So far this holidays it has been really bad. I just dont know what to do with her now. She doesnt respond to consequences ie - if you dont do this then you wont get that, she doesnt seem to respond to rewards either. If you do this then that you can go and do that etc. We also ahve a major problem with toileting. She only doesnt soil or wet during the day as i take her. She never tells me when she needs to go and at th eminute we're having constnat pooing in pants - going through up to 5 pairs of pants a day. She denies she's done it and if she's ina funny mood thsi can then be the catalyst for another meltdown when i try and clean her up. Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the behaviour. When she has meltdowns i can't leave her on her own as she would trash teh place. I dont really ahve anywhere that is completely dd proof. I know that the best way when she's at this stage is not to speak to her or touch her etc so she can calm down in her own time but i don't really have anywhee where she cant do any damage.

The consequence thing (good or bad) did work a little bit before but now it's not - what else can i do?

[Seuss]

Having similar problems today. usually use a 'working for' chart but things have spiralled out of control a bit today. I've been putting him in his room to calm down(that I have stripped of anything throwable) but he is so heavy I'm regretting starting that - but he was throwing things around while the other two dcs were playing and I thought it was dangerous. He banged his head on the floor too, before I could stop him and has carpet mark. I guess for us I need to get him back on track with the 'working for' chart but would welcome any other suggestions too.

[knat]

seuss is the working for chart where he earns things for good behaviour? We tried something similar with smiley faces and seemed to help a bit (it was very informal which dd preferred than a proper chart) and have stopped doing it so maybe its worht a go again?

[Seuss]

Sorry - crashed your thread knat. Just wanted to say you are not alone!

[Seuss]

yes that's it - he has to earn a few smileys and then gets a reward (playing with computer or something like that). I think our mistake was that we stopped using it so much as he seemed better but now today i'm really wishing we'd kept it up.
it is quite informal and adaptable ( we weren't too rigid with it).

[Seuss]

he also has a list of things that are 'not ok' - like head-banging and throwing. I find that useful as sometimes he is more likely to look at that during meltdown than when i am saying 'no kicking' verbally.

[Seuss]

I think I am going to write today off as a bad day and start afresh tomorrow! My ds is very tired I think and yet always wants to be doing something physical which then makes him worse!