Autistic child starting Reception - do you tell everyone?

(9 Posts)
Countmeout Sun 26-Jul-20 12:35:50

Agree with poster above I might only disclose if it came up in conversation.
I am gm to a child in the same situation as your son, my dd doesnt mention in in the what’s app group the preschool parents have. She does however have 2/3 friends in the same group who know the situation or have a fair grasp of it. One of those children at least will be in the same school class. Is there no one else from his preschool setting starting with him that you and he have formed a relationship with? That might ease things a little. I certainly wouldn’t ‘announce’ it as per the lady you spoke off, but a little drip feeding might be beneficial at some point.
Our situation is slightly different as once her statement is complete she is to have a 1:1 . I don’t think that alone will necessarily announce it to parents, it depends how that is managed in school.
Sorry all that is a bit rambling but in conclusion no I wouldn’t announce the fact.

Haworthia Sat 25-Jul-20 16:27:04

I remember when DC1 started Reception and the mother of an autistic boy in her class mentioned it to all and sundry when we came for an induction (it helped that she had a very loud voice grin). I can see why she did, purely to head off any speculation or questioning of his behaviour from the start. I can see the logic behind it. Equally I can see why it might make people feel awkward or that they have to say something to me in response @Sirzy. We’ve even had family members not say a word when his diagnosis became official (BIL told MIL “We didn’t know what to say”... it’s OK, we aren’t looking for sympathy!).

I think I’ll keep it on a need to know basis for the time being.

Did he attend a nursery attached to the school? How did he get on in nursery?

No, he didn’t go to the school nursery but another nearby preschool. He got on... so-so. Every couple of weeks I’d collect him to find his key worker looking grim faced and telling him there was a note in his book for me to read (it was never anything major, usually lamping a child because he got into a disagreement with them. He’s not a violent child and there would always be some sort of trigger if he did hit somebody).

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Sirzy Sat 25-Jul-20 16:12:54

Personally I wouldn’t announce it like that. I think if anything that risks putting the other parents in an awkward position of knowing what to say.

DS is in year 6 now and I am pretty sure all the parents know he is autistic now (He is full time 1-1 so that’s a give away!) but I never made an announcement as such. If it came up in conversation then it was discussed but in a natural way rather than a forced conversation if that makes sense

openupmyeagereyes Sat 25-Jul-20 16:08:54

Did he attend a nursery attached to the school? How did he get on in nursery?

Haworthia Sat 25-Jul-20 15:23:25

No ECHP @openupmyeagereyes

It’s something we might have discussed at his last one planning meeting that was scheduled for March but didn’t happen. The school have been given the lowest level of IPRA funding for him which amounts to not even half days, with a view to applying for an EHCP if and when his needs become apparent.

The problem is no one knows how well (or how badly) he’s going to take the transition to full time school.

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elliejjtiny Sat 25-Jul-20 15:04:41

I do if it comes up in conversation but I don't make a general announcement.

openupmyeagereyes Sat 25-Jul-20 15:01:26

Does your son have an EHCP?

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openupmyeagereyes Sat 25-Jul-20 14:29:40

Personally I wouldn’t do this on FB.
My ds has just finished yr1 in a mainstream school. The mum of one of his classmates, who had been at nursery with him, told some people and I told some others as and when it seemed appropriate. He has 1:1 support so it’s obvious that he has additional needs.

I can’t speak for what may have been said behind my back but everyone has been very kind and understanding in person.

Do what you feel is best for you though, obviously.

Haworthia Sat 25-Jul-20 13:32:53

This might sound like a daft question, but I’m debating with myself whether to mention on my son’s class FB group that he’s autistic. Just get it out of the way so that I won’t have to talk about it to people individually, to explain why he isn’t like his peers.

Pros: I don’t think it should be a secret or something to hide. It’s an important part of him and I don’t wish he was different.

Cons: I don’t want to stigmatise him before we’ve even set foot in the playground. I have an older child and I know school mums can be brutal.

Any opinions either way?

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