Other people’s comments.

[PumpkinP]

How do people deal with other people’s comments. My sister just said that my daughter isn’t “really autistic” because she is HF and can speak and use the toilet so that isn’t REAL autism. And that a lot of autistic children’s parents are ignorant because they haven’t seen what a real autistic child is like. She basically made out that my parenting was to blame for her struggles. I’m really upset to Be honest.

[Niffler75]

@PumpkinP 😔💐 I am so sorry you are experiencing this. Unfortunately it is a common experience for parents of kids with additional needs.
Do you generally have a good relationship with your sister? Is a bit of re-education needed? Maybe some info from NAS?
I have found over time I have grown a tough rhino hide and comments don't affect me as much as they used to. But it is still not right! 😡
Over time we have built up a support network of people who understand my son. I am sad to say aside from my mother in law who is fantastic, it does not include any other family members.

[PumpkinP]

Thanks Tbh I’ve always found her abit judgemental. She’s the type that tells me that one child isn’t harder than having 4, I have 4 (2 with asd, though she doesn’t believe my other child has asd either 🙄 ) she has one who lives with the dad half the time but apparently having more is easier. She also said she doesn’t believe adhd exists. I was suppose to be meeting up with her tomorrow but going to give it a miss as still offended by what she said. Forgot to add in my op but she said back in the day my daughter would have just been considered “abit mad”

[PumpkinP]

She says One child is harder* not isn’t

[Niffler75]

😬 On boy! I can feel my blood pressure rising in your defence! Maybe keeping your distance is a good idea. I treat yourself to a cuppa and slice of cake instead! #self care 😜☕🍰

[openupmyeagereyes]

Oh my goodness, she’s a piece of work isn’t she?

She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. How supportive are your parents? If you don’t feel able to call her out on this can your parents help?

She’s your sister and I’m sure you love her but if she insists on this outdated thinking I would just reduce the amount you see her and ignore her comments the times you have to

[PumpkinP]

Thank you both for the support, finding it really hard to stop thinking about what she said. She used the fact dd is in a mainstream school to prove her point, apparently if she was “really autistic” a mainstream school wouldn’t be able to handle her, she has full 1:1 all day and a echp, she has 2:1 for school trips. I went silent at one point as it was clear I was upset yet she was still going on and on. I’m definitely going to keep my distance.

[openupmyeagereyes]

My ds is in a ms school with an EHCP and 1:1 support. He is verbal, reasonably bright (I think) and toilet trained. He is also definitely autistic.

Do not let her get to you. She is wrong.

[BlankTimes]

Ask her what her qualifications for diagnosing autism are.
when she says she has none, just reply 'That's very evident' and give her 'that look'

I think all parents of autistic kids and kids with AN hear far too much of this rubbish from "friends" and relatives who would be far better keeping their mouths firmly closed.

It really is an eye opener as to who in your family and friend circle "gets it" because the vast majority don't.
The ones who don't aren't worth spending any time with, because their opinions don't matter.