3 year old being assessed

[holyforkballs]

My 3 yr old has been referred for assessment. Health visitor suspects ADD. I have no knowledge at all and google isn’t helping!! Can anyone out there with experience tell me what to expect? And also how disruptive could it be to his future life especially school?

I’m aware he’s only 3 but health visitor was a complete nightmare and pretty much diagnosed him on the spot (I know she shouldn’t have done this) she also said he would likely never have friends, wouldn’t grow completely out of it and said don’t worry the other child she’d seen that was far more strange (her exact words). She only observed him for 10 mins at nursery.

Any advice would be appreciated I just want to help him in anyway I can.

[Ellie56]

Wow she sounds spectacularly unhelpful!

Not sure what you mean by ADD.Do you mean she suspects ASD/ASC?

[LightTripper]

She sounds awful! I'm so sorry that must have been rubbish to hear. If you mean ASD I can point you at lots of lovely autistic adults to reassure you (and ditto for ADHD) and although ASD tends to mean challenges at school it doesn't have to be a disaster, and certainly doesn't mean no friends etc. My DD(5is autistic and loves school. I'sure there will be bumps ahead but we'll work it out. Please ignore her negativity!!

[holyforkballs]

Thanks both - attention deficit disorder. She said this was different to ADHD but when I google ADD, ADHD comes up and there doesn’t seem to be much if any difference.

[LightTripper]

Well one of my best friends has ADHD and she is bloody marvellous (and also has a degree from Cambridge BTW). Lots of successful and happy people have ADHD (e.g. Rory Bremner did a documentary on his ADHD a few years ago) so I think your HV should shut up about people with ADD/ADHD having no friends or inevitably struggling at school. I'm not saying it's easy, but your DS is his own person with his own strengths and challenges - and understanding and supporting him in the right ways should mean he can do very well and have a very happy life.

Sheesh, I'd rather be neurodiverse than an idiot....

I really know about autism not ADHD but I think a lot of people with ADHD tweet under #neurodiversesquad so that might be a place to start looking for/asking about resources and guidance.

[holyforkballs]

Thank you - that’s a really helpful response. Haven’t got twitter but I’ll definitely look that up.

I think the social aspect worries me quite a lot (we’ve already noticed other kids don’t seem to want to play with him) and how it will affect his school work. I’m probably thinking way too far ahead considering he’s too young to be diagnosed yet but if anyone has any advice in that area please please share.

[marshmallowss]

They wouldn't even consider ADD for a three year old. 6 is the minimum for ADHD.

Your health visitor sounds like a twat.

Get the referral, get a speech and language assessment and go from there. Your DS is 3 and if there are any problems then early intervention is the absolute key to helping.

Did she say why she suspects ADD. Ina three year old, I just cannot get over that.

Echoed what's been said above; would rather be neurodiverse than a complete twunt.

[marshmallowss]

Btw my health professional said the same to me about my child having a language delay.
That he would have No friends and no school curriculum. This was based in a 10 minute picture test. Boring AF. Take it in context OP and talk to the nursery for their opinion

[holyforkballs]

Nursery were the ones who invited the health visitor to assess him. I was a little annoyed that they hadn’t come to me first to warn me - it was all sprung on me. However I like the nursery and the staff there and think they are usually brilliant so respect their opinion.

The main reasons are - he has trouble focusing particularly at carpet time, he doesn’t seem to be aware of personal space (which I think can sometimes frighten the other kids) and he’s more energetic than the others. I had to fill in a form to score and so did his teacher - hers scored high while mine was just under what they would usually refer.

Happy for them to refer on this basis as I know they see a different side to him at nursery. But health visitor also said she’d observed him for an hour when the teacher (who apologised profusely for the way I was spoken to) said that’s not the case and it was actually 10 minutes.

[ForTheFew]

The British psychological society advise not to consider an ADHD diagnosis for children 7 and under as how they present can be explained by other factors.

[ForTheFew]

ADD is ADHD without the hyperactivity.

But dear God there are so many reasons why a THREE year old may not have developed attention and listening skills, and these can be easily rectified, without putting a diagnosis on them!!

[LightTripper]

At 3 that thing about personal space also just seems weird. We re seeing a lot of DD's TA at the moment as we're doing Early Bird +, and he was saying that at lining up time in the morning none of them have any idea of personal space (this is a class of mainly neurotypical 5-6 year olds): so why you would expect that at 3 I have no idea!!

It sounds like it may well just be bollocks, but given that the nursery themselves have raised concerns and seem sensible I would use the opportunity to get on a waiting list for assessment, but try not to panic based on the HV comments as she's obviously bats.

Maybe look into Sensory Diets if you want to find ways for him to burn off his energy/focus when he needs to? If you look up the Chirp YouTube channel she has a lot of videos on sensory stuff e.g.

www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjG8IIMf5cY5Rakdt6u4Mmn9MlpdmrSXA

She also has videos on social-emotional stuff, but I think it's early to be worried about that. I remember when DD was about 3.5 maybe at nursery she asked another kid at nursery where she went on holiday (she'd just come back from being away) and although I had probably heavily prompted the question I was amazed, as DD hardly asked questions at all and was not very social at that age - so I was so impressed, and desperate for her to get some positive feedback from her lovely question aaaannnnddd.... the other (presumably neurotypical kid) completely blanks her and walks off

I mean, basically, 3 year olds have crappy social skills....

[marshmallowss]

I would ignore completely what the health visitor has said. And begin again with the nursery staff. Next steps are to make a referral to speech and language and paediatrician.
Go from there.
Please don't take what this HV says as the truth, as it sounds ridiculous.

Btw I've have 2 speech therapists look at my D.C. very interesting that the same test had completely different results and means very different things for my child. I also work in the industry to know better. Professionals are still humans with their own ideas and will have already made subconscious decisions about your child which will impact on how they see them. I learnt the hard way and the future looked bleak. I couldn't see past what this therapist had said. Now I'm looking at my child and I can see their full potential, which is being reflected by this new therapist. A ten minute snapshot into someone's life, is not enough to base a diagnoses and to fully appreciate your child and how they interact with the world

[Holyforkballs]

It’s been a while since I first posted here but really wanted to update. My former 3 year old is now 5 and just finished his first year of reception. He changed school for reception as we’ve moved house. We’ve just received a glowing report from his new school and even got exceptional ratings in a lot of areas! He’s popular, kind and his attention span/concentration is considered ‘normal.’

We did try to go down the assessment route but with COVID it became difficult and we had one phone appointment where the paediatrician seemed to hunt that it was pointless at his age and he may grow out of it. We were told they would arrange another but never heard back so dropped it.

I just wanted to add this because I spent so much worrying about the horrible things the health Visitor said (mainly that he’d never have friends). I now know she didn’t have a clue what she was talking about and nursery really should have handled the whole situation better. If anyone else goes through this, I strongly suggest going down the assessment route if advised but I also urge you to trust your gut instinct and don’t overrule it with other peoples opinions just because they’re more qualified than you. 3 is still very young and the two reports are night and day. These people are just human - not all of them get it right and nobody has the right to speak to you about your child the way I was spoken to whether there is grounds for assessment or not.

[Stupidsadsack]

I agree with the others. 3 is too young. I would be wary of the opinion of the nursery.