ABA book or online course

(6 Posts)
Nat2021 Mon 30-Sep-19 10:24:08

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LightTripper Mon 30-Sep-19 14:29:10

ABA is quite controversial so it is definitely worth reading some different perspectives. We actually did hire a consultant (on a distance basis: so they were just supporting us, they never met DD - Google "Beam ABA" if you are interested) but although they were helpful in many ways, there were still parts of ABA I was uncomfortable with. The things I found best were:
(a) understanding the reasons for behaviours (actually ABA wasn't great for this but I tried to kind of integrate it into what I did at home: Stuart Shanker's website is good for this: self-reg.ca/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/BehaviourIsCommunication-3-1024x791.png)
(b) breaking things down into small steps (a bit like physio: developing all the early skills that underpin communication - e.g. just modelling saying Hello and some ideas for how to play with other children, how to vary a game a tiny bit to start to teach compromise and turn taking, without trying to switch their attention to something totally new which is unlikely to work), and
(c) some fun games to encourage interaction and make it fun and not scary for DD (e.g. OH and me doing funny videos to illustrate things, using soft-toys to practice conversation, turn taking games, etc.) We also got a good book from the library with more game ideas: www.amazon.co.uk/Activities-Children-Aspergers-Processing-Disorders/dp/0071623361?tag=mumsnetforu03-21
Some DD had no interest in but others were really fun ways to engage her interest and practice turn taking (which is critical to building conversation skills later).

On language delay, I'd start with Hanen: More than Words (expensive for a book but not relative to ABA! And may also be available from your library?)

There are also some great SLTs online (e.g. Chirp speech therapy has a lot of free materials, including on sensory issues which are really important to understand, and Walkie Talkie speech therapy who is selling an online course but her older videos have more free materials and lots of examples of her working with kids). Both have videos to suggest how to encourage interactive play. www.youtube.com/channel/UCfYVQf91yvCwAfZGn1vrypQ

For a more general overview of parenting issues with Autistic kids "How to parent a happy autistic child" by Jessie Hewitson is good.

There is a really nice Facebook group called "Nurturing Neurodiversity" that is very supportive for people going through the diagnostic process. Faye, who runs it has an autistic son who I think is also around 3.5 and non-verbal - she has some great YouTube videos here too, including one on early interventions you can do at home without hiring therapists.
Her son is also starting to communicate using an iPad so that might be something you could investigate depending on how speech delayed and/or frustrated your DS is.

Good luck, I know it's really hard when you don't have Dx yet - but parent groups and online resources are all there for you! Don't feel you need a Dx to ask questions: it's when you don't have a Dx that you need the most help and advice. It's a gradual process of developing your mindset and learning more, so it won't happen overnight, and sadly I never found a "one stop shop" that gave me all the resources I wanted to help support DD - but over time I did find lots of useful stuff out there.

If you can be more specific about behaviour others may be able to make other suggestions (e.g. I know "The Explosive Child" is often recommended on here, if your DS is an exploder!) Even though DD isn't particularly explosive, I still find the ideas there about modeling flexibility and recognising how difficult transitions can be very useful and pertinent.

Nat2021 Mon 30-Sep-19 20:47:00

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Mummy0ftwo12 Mon 30-Sep-19 21:27:25

I liked
An early Start for your child with autism
the verbal behaviour approach (also an online course with fb group)
the abaaccess4all website and fb group (started by a mumsnetter)

Oh and not sure if your local area offers Portage? (but our local council pretty much has the whole portage course materials online)

LightTripper Mon 30-Sep-19 23:03:19

It is very emotional and certainly I dipped in and out of denial for a long time. Its much better when you know and you can just get on with life!! Read and watch lots and take your time. The behaviour you're describing sounds like he could be overwhelmed or anxious. I'm sure it's not personal (or, only in a good way: our kids feel safe with us to let out all the pent up emotions and frustrations!). Sometimes there are just developmental leaps that take time for them to adjust to. You'll get there together. We've always found, if in doubt, take the pressure off, follow their lead, nudge gently in the direction they are already going, and they'll get through the lumps and bumps of life. Although DD is only 5. But so far this approach seems to be serving us all fine!

Nat2021 Wed 02-Oct-19 12:03:59

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