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Wondering about dds development,or lack of . Advice/thoughts much appreciated.(longish sorry)

(25 Posts)
wrinklytum Wed 04-Jul-07 21:25:15

I am writing here to see if any of this rings any alarm bells with any of you.

My dd is now 19 months.

I have been concerned for a while now but this has been brought to a head by the nursery nurse at the nursery she attends a day a week taking me to one side and expressing her concerns.

DD cannot stand unsupported.She has no sense balance whatsoever.She will stand against a table/bath but just slides forward or falls backwards.She did not sit unsupported for nine months.She rolled at just over a year,though she does not roll often.Her preferred method of sitting up is to go from laying on her back and pulling herself up into a sitting position using her back/abdominal muscles(without using her hands!),I have never seen another child do this.She does not kneel,or push up with her hands.She seems to have difficulty bending her knees when stood up,they seem quite stiff.Saying this however,she is a proficient bum shuffler from about 15.5 months.

Her speech is very poor and she has few recognisable words.
She can say "Ca" (cat)"Dadada" (babbling,Daddy) "daa" (door,we think) and "caa" (car) everything else is just "Ga" or "Gaaa" whatever the object.This has not progressed for a good six months.She can definitely hear though,but I am wondering how well.

She can grasp small objects but it can be a bit hit and miss and she does not always seem to realise when she has dropped something.Occasionally she has a slight tremor and sometimes still appears to have a startle reflex to certain unexpected noises.
She will grasp a spoon but cannot bring it to her mouth effectively.She sometimes has difficulty swallowing food and often chokes,but she had silent reflux as a small baby.She is incredibly dribbly but I am wondering if this is just teeth.

She is a gorgeous happy smily little girl,and I love her so so much.She has plenty of comprehension and is well able to make her needs known by pointing.

People keep telling me she is developing at her own pace,but I am getting really concerned now.Truth to tell I have been for months,I have another child who developed so much faster,and I know I shouldn't compare but it breaks my heart to see the difference.It saddens me to see her in the baby room still at 19 months so much bigger than the other tots,still not developing as rapidly as they are.

Shit,am in tears writing this.Tell me not to be crap.HV is coming on Friday.I just want to prepare myself as best I can.Any advice much appreciated.Thanks.

wrinklytum Wed 04-Jul-07 21:49:57

Bump,I am really sorry if this seem trivial and do not mean to crash your forum uneccessarily,but I just wondered if anyone else had come across anything that seemed similar to dd situation?

Many thanks.

wads Wed 04-Jul-07 21:51:15

my SN DS is very different to yours but I know exactly how writing something down in black & white makes it all seem huge. I know (believe me I know, I know) that telling you not to get stressed out & ahead of yourself doesn't help much, but whatever problems your DD has, the most early intervention possible could make all the difference so whatever help you get offered grab it. My mum gave me that advice even before I thought there wasn't really anything much wrong & I'm so glad she did

wrinklytum Wed 04-Jul-07 21:58:39

Thank you for replying.)
I have probably posted in wrong place.

Should've been behaviour/development,probably.

I really appreciate your reply.

Have just been worrying so much for so long and everyone previously has said she will get there in own time.Now the nursery nurse and my mother have both expressed concerns I have had for a while.

Hopefully will get paed referral from hv.

Thanks.Maybe I just needed to write stuff down to get clear in my head.

Sorry if in inappropriate place.

mymatemax Wed 04-Jul-07 22:00:10

Your concerns are not trivial at all, you know your child better than anyone.
Write down all your concerns, even if you end up being tearful in front of the HV, make sure you cover everything you feel you need to before you let her leave.
If she doesn't offer it ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician, even if your dd doesn't in the end need it the waiting lists can sometimes be long & you can always cancel if your worries disappear.
As mabs has said if your dd does need any assistance the earlier the better.
Good luck, hope all goes well.

frascati Wed 04-Jul-07 22:02:28

Wrinklytum ~ sorry you are having these concerns. Unfortunately I can't help but just wanted to say please don't apologise. Sn is for everyone as is all parts of mn. Noone "owns" it (mnhq may have something to say about that ). You have every right if you have a concern to come and ask for help.
Good luck. I hope someone comes along soon with some good advice x

wrinklytum Wed 04-Jul-07 22:02:48

Thank you for your reply,MMM.

wrinklytum Wed 04-Jul-07 22:03:25

and Frascati.

mummytosteven Wed 04-Jul-07 22:04:20

completely agree with mymatemax - ask for referrals now, as that way if she doesn't just grow out of it, she will have climbed the waiting list in the meantime - nothing worse than getting to the frantically worried stage, and then finding you have ages to wait to get seen. I would also look for a speech therapy referral now; not because I think your dd necessarily has problems - it's quite common for children to be late talkers and just catch up all of a suddent - particularly if their understanding and other communication (e.g. pointing out things she wants/that interest her to you), but for the above reason.

you also might find a book very useful called "You make the difference" - it's very good, about encouraging early communication, by an organisation called Hanen who specialise in speech problems.

wads Wed 04-Jul-07 22:08:25

& another thing - I think my tummy is probably way wrinklier than yours - the word "crepe" comes to mind! Good luck

wrinklytum Wed 04-Jul-07 22:38:04

Thank you for replies,LOL re stomachs

If it were just the speech I would be less concerned it is the whole lack of balance,no pulling up and drooling thing too.It has become more noticeable as she has got older.

Joggeroo Thu 05-Jul-07 08:59:48

I don't think that this is trivial or you crashed the forum, think you just got a quiet time.

It's so hard when you have worries and you finally decide to write them down and act on them, but it is the first step to getting help.

I hope your HV is helpful and refers you on to the community peadiatrician or whoever looks at development in your area. There is an emphasis these days on early intervention and getting help now doesn't mean your DD will need it forever,

My son has Global Develpmental delay, walked at about 22 months, which we didn't see as a problem at the time, but put togehter with his general develpment at 3 led us into a world I had never imagined we would be in. He is developing at his own pace, but as time has gone on, he's fallen further and further behind his peers. He is however lovely, funny, smiley and such a character.
hope your meeting goes well on Friday.

Reallytired Thu 05-Jul-07 11:43:02

You need to ask for a referal to a community paediatian and possibly a child physio.

My son had a similar level of development to your daughter at 19 months. It turned out that he had orthopedic problems that made it hard for him to walk and his speech was delayed by glue ear.

He had help with both problems and now is a happy five year old.

Jenkeywoo Thu 05-Jul-07 14:17:48

Hi Wrinkly tum, great advice as usual from the others! I think you wouldn't be a mummy if you didn't worry and I can understand how your dd gets frustrated being in the baby room. As the others say it may all be her doing stuff in her own way but it is worth getting it all checked out. You need to badger your HV or GP for an appointment with the community paediatrician - if they then think it's needed they can refer you to the hospital child development centre. Be warned though that you may have to keep hassling - I first noticed problems with dd at 8 months, was fobbed off until over a year before seeing the community paeditrician who then refferred me straight away but it took until she was 13 months to get diagnosed with cerebral palsy. It's time to be a pushy mummy cos you know what is best for your little girl! Best Wishes and let us know how you get on.

wrinklytum Thu 05-Jul-07 20:26:56

Thanks for other replies.Jenkywoo,I have been thinking about the possibility of mild cp.Could be other things as well of course.

Thank you,lovely mumsnetters.I will keep you posted of any further developments.

Pages Fri 06-Jul-07 09:52:23

I'd get a hearing test asap, you can just go to your GP and get a referral quite quickly. My DS had glue ear and intermittent hearing loss and I was told it is one if the main reasons speech fails to develop and one of the biggest causes of learning difficulties

Reallytired Fri 06-Jul-07 14:25:33

Your community paediatrian may have the clout to get your child moved up to the toddler room when she reaches the age of two.

It is disablity discrimination not to move a child who is two years old up to the toddler room just because they are not walking.

FioFio Fri 06-Jul-07 19:22:46

Message withdrawn

wrinklytum Fri 06-Jul-07 19:40:45


hv came today and is in agreement we are looking at CP.

I have posted anohter thread.

She will get a proper hv assessment on monday and referred to paediatrician.

I was sort of expecting it but am still a bit all over the place.

Still,life goes on and I have a beautiful happy little girl,with a fab sense of humour and a smile to melt your heart.

I think when I have got my head around it a bit more I will be able to cope better.

The most heartwarming thing today was ds asking "Why are you crying,Mummy?"

I said that dd may not be able to walk or talk very well but we would have to see,and that she was still our special ***.He promptly asked if she could sit on the chair and watch c-beebies with him,and put his arm around her and gave her loads of big kisses.Aaah.

FioFio Fri 06-Jul-07 19:54:43

Message withdrawn

CristinaTheAstonishing Fri 06-Jul-07 19:58:44

WT - I know some hearing losses are accompanied by balance problems. I hope you get referrals quickly and can get a diagnosis and a plan aasap.

wrinklytum Fri 06-Jul-07 20:24:56

Fio,there are other indicators,the drooling,pushing tongue out very stiff limbs,fists either in clenched position or flappy,and held out in front of her when we are "walking" with her,still has startle reflex,cannot get into crawl position etc etc,cannot commando,even on tummy,in fact hates being on tummy.When holding her upright her legs go all over the place like a newborn foal,as she tries to take steps.It is a bit like the Ministry for Silly Walks

wads Fri 06-Jul-07 22:03:53

was thinking of you today wrinklytum & am glad to hear you're getting some more assessment. Now you can stop stressing about what if & start stressing about what is - still stressful but marginally less gut wrenching. Good luck

wrinklytum Fri 06-Jul-07 22:17:02


It has hit me like the proverbial tonne of bricks,even though I KNEW all was not right.

It could be much worse,though.My aunt had really severe SN from birth problems.My dd problems are much less severe in comparison.Have cried all day but now I need to get past that and do what I can for her.
Thanks for your support xx Wrinkly.

Reallytired Mon 09-Jul-07 12:04:31

My son's physical development was similar to your child's at 19 months. He had a physio assessment and the physio was able to rule out cp. It turned out my son had orthopedic problems.

I think that diagnosing cp is beyond a hv. You really need a community paediatrian and phsyio.

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