Hi, I've not been over in this board before. But a lovely mnetter pm me about my dd when I mentioned her behaviour on another thread. I'm wondering if you lovely people can see anything in her behaviour?
My dd has just turned 9. Her behaviour has deteriorated massively in the last 6 months. She is violent and aggressive towards me and her little sister. The most recent bout was in the leisure centre whilst waiting for swimming lesson. I had said she could have a drink from the machine but the card machine was out of order. I tried to get some change at the counter, but was told they didn't have enough. Fair enough. She had a major meltdown. Hitting me, kicking me, swearing. She ran outside with no shoes on (it was dark and raining). She was furious people were looking. It took about 20 mins for me to calm her down. I could leave as her sister was in the pool having her lesson. Other parents from school were there. Kids I teach were there .
This has become our normal. I can't leave her alone with her sister. She tried to strangle her. Her dad says she isn't doing it at his (she is. I've witnessed it and she also says she is).
She lies. About everything. School have noted this too. There are often no reasons for the lies. Just complete made up bollocks.
School says she isn't violent or bad behaved at school so can't refer to cahms etc.
I've been to GP who said it's hormones . To be fair, she is definitely showing signs of puberty. She is also very tall for her age. I struggle to restrain her.
I think she is aware her behaviour is bad. She has mentioned she knows santa won't be bringing her anything. We have an elf (which a friend gave us when she was 2 who goes back and tells santa) and it had helped her stop her 'tantrums'. But this has worn off this week.
I've had the neighbour round during one session of her screaming, hitting and swearing at me. Tbh, I feel useless. I'm a teacher and have students who live down my road. I have no problems with class management at school. Nothing I try works with my dd. If I shout which I inevitably do it just escalates the situation. But trying to be calm has now lost its effect.
She also is very shy. Sociable anxiety. She will often 'warm up'. But she displays signs of selective mutism. She says it's like her mouth is sewn up. This has got slightly better over the last few months and people have noticed she has got better.
She does lots of extracurricular activities. Doesn't have issues sociably there (once she has got used to people). But seems to suffer with making friends at school. But I'm wondering if this is partly her own perception. We have had lots of years over this. Refusing to go to school (head teacher literally picked her up and took her in) but I genuinely think was being bullied. Not the case now and she agrees with this.
Sorry for the long post. I'm sure I've probably missed stuff. My heart breaks for her. And quite frankly, I'm exhausted. I'm a single mum and work full time. I feel like I'm failing. (To add, I think the split if her dad and I has effected her. He had an affair and moved in with the OW. Still with her 5 yes later. DD not a fan. But I think she says that to please me).
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26 replies
user1471530109 · 23/12/2018 09:54
OP posts:
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