my son cannot control his anger. huge rages. help me

[Mousie]

I am going through a hard time right now. My dd (6)is, i think suffering from either/both aspergers and dyslexia/ dyspraxia - I am in the process of getting her on the pathway to being assessed. it's convuluted obviously and i have posted on a couple of other threads. her younger brother is much more able/ happy/ sociable than she is. However he gets massive massive tantrums and rage. and it is getting worse. he is 4. He is also getting obsessive about food stuffs - won't have avocado near his breadsticks, etc... he is totally irrational, impossible to reason with and punishments. sticker charts. deprivation of things just don't seem to move him. I find the combination of the two of them utterly debilitating. i honestly think of handing them into the police station/ hospital or wherever and just running away. I try so hard to stay calm and not shout but it is pushing me to the edge right now. I get a bit of time away from them but the school run and collection is just horrific every day as anything could and invariably does happen. what can i do and where can I turn? anyone know how to deal with very very angry children?!

[badelaide]

Aaah, Mousie, ds (7) is like this (but has got much better in the last year).
My Mum says he's like a terrier with a trouser leg...he WILL not let go!
Nowadays he gets sent to his room for a set length of time, and minutes are added each time he argues. Still a battle though, and so very wearisome.
Good idea, once he is calm, to talk through what will happen next time.
So not much in the way of advice, but you have my sympathy, and just to give you hope, ds is a love most of the time nowadays.

[KarenThirl]

I've been doing a lot of anger management work with my ds who's now 8. He has only had three proper meltdowns since Christmas and is coming to terms with his anger, working very hard on it. I'd be happy to talk you through some of the stuff we've been doing if you like.

[Mousie]

yes please karen - fire away!

[KarenThirl]

Email me on my 'other' address - [email protected] - and I'll give you a phone number. There's far too much to write down, plus I have some visual tools you might want to adapt so I could email them to you.

[Mousie]

emailing you with no success - keeps coming back. are you sure email address is right? thanks i do appreciate this, i really need some good advice on this. today been another epic...

[KarenThirl]

Dopey me. Too many dots.

Try: [email protected]

I've been checking all day just in case, too!