What would be considered an ASD related “ritual”?

[Blossom4538]

Hi all,

Dd is under assessment for High Functioning Autism.

Just wondering what rituals your children display? We are asked about it but I’m not sure really....what would they consider a ritual?

Sorry if silly question!

[LiefievdM]

I would say anything that she always does in the same way/order and would get upset if you change the order or way it is done.

My DS, for example, has a specific way she carries out her bedtime tasks. I only noticed this when I inadvertantly changed things one night and she got upset with me. She has to have her bottle of milk and her cookie on her pillow. Then she takes off all her clothes; puts her nappy pants on; puts her short on; then trousers; and then I have to tuck her in; and then she drinks her milk and eats the cookie.

I was in a rush to get her into bed and put the milk and cookie on the dresser, and put her nappy pants and trousers on for her and then the shirt and then gave her the milk and cookie. She just sat in her bed very quietly and quite visibly upset.

But if that hadn't happened I probably wouldn't have noticed her ritual. It can be very subtle and might take close observation for a while to notice them.

all the best for this process x

[LiefievdM]

*shirt not short

[CaptainKirkssparetupee]

When you live with someone they can be very hard to spot, as it just becomes a quirk of everyday life.
Think of the certain ways you have to do things, for example does your DS always eat dinner in a certain order?

[Ellie56]

A ritual is something that is done in the same way every time they do it.

My son used to have a ritual whereby after a shower he would wrap the towel right round him and over his head and then lie on his bed like a tortoise, until he was dry. He did that every time he had a shower for years.

He could never be persuaded to dry himself in the conventional way and it was a nightmare if we needed to get ready in a hurry, as he just would not be hurried!

[Frusso]

Dd doesn't show any.

[Frusso]

Sorry that's what happens when I post in the middle of the night.
By my comment I mean, they don't have to tick every box in order to get the diagnosis.
Dd has oddities, and likes to know what's going on, doesn't mind if things change, but likes to know if they are going to change, and has no understanding of what others are thinking, she can't guess emotions, she was shown a picture of a cartoon boy crying, background of the picture was a another child and a broken toy, she couldn't give an answer as to why he was crying or correctly say how he could have been feeling. She was 7/8 at the time, so theoretically should have been able to guess an answer.
But she doesn't have any rituals, or anything that has to be done in a certain order or a certain way. But she ticked other boxes.

[Thisismynewname123]

I agree with Frusso. My dd doesn't display particular rituals. The paediatrician drew her own picture over time (while waiting for the assessment, we met with her every few months). Dd can cope with changes, as long as she knows in advance exactly what is going to happen, in what order (preferably written down, to be ticked off step by step). Changing it is fine, as long as there is plenty of warning. But she is incredibly controlling, has severe sensory issues, and also can't read emotions or regulate her own emotions.

[OneInEight]

We found this type of question really difficult to answer as the border between ritual, habit, rigidity of thought is hard to distinguish. Possibly I could say that ds1 always walks round the house clockwise on his way from bedroom to raid the kitchen for food (and leaves all doors open in his wake) but is this just habit or being a teenager, possibly I could say that he never takes a coat to school even on snowy days (although will wear one on trips from home) but this might be rigid thinking in that he thinks it will get destroyed at school, possibly I could say that different foods must never touch on the plate in case they contaminate each other but again is this just rigid thinking.

[Blossom4538]

Thank you everyone. I’m pretty sure she is prone to rituals but I just can’t think of them at the moment!

I guess if we visit somewhere and return ther again, we in the past have had to do exactly what we did last time, in the same order.

There are other things.

I think with eating, she will usually eat one food type first, then the next and not nibble at each thing. So all chicken, then all cucumber, all pepper etc. Doesn’t like food mixed and likes it quite dry - no sauce. She’s a v fussy eater.

She has lots of traits and sensory issues but I’m just wracking my brain about routine and rituals. Like a previous poster said, you might d of her used to the everyday and it’s harder to spot.

Dd did well when show cards with pics of emotions - she has had work from us and nurture group on this in the past though. She seems sensitive to facial expressions and will get anxious or ask “why someone’s face is like that?” But during assessment she exceeded expectations for her age group.

[Ellie56]

Try keeping a diary for a few days and you may notice unusual behaviours that happen on a regular basis.

It is so easy when living with these children on a day to day basis to accept everything they do as "normal" when actually some of it really isn't!

[Blossom4538]

Thank you. I can relate to some of the rigid thinking mentioned eg, coats and food touching/mixed. I guess we can see rigidity and preference for routine. Will like to repeat exactly same thing when dropped at Grandparents etc. She does like to pick up stones on way too and from school and sometimes in playground- they seem interested in this!