Should I seek an assessment for ds?

[ShinyTamatoa]

DS has just turned 7. He has currently been in bed for an hour and a half trying to get to sleep and all i can hear is him humming to himself every 5-10 seconds.

I hadn't really thought about it before but he does have some asd traits. His school have never mentioned anything to me as he is very bright, he has just had sats results of greater depth at reading and maths and expected for writing. The last year or so though his teachers have been saying he is distracting others by talking too much, but when I ask him he says he can't hold it in and he has to say it or he will burst!

He has always had an obsession with cars, he can look at a logo and tell you the car make. He used to line them up and when he was a toddler would lie on the floor just rolling them back and forward. If he was to draw a picture of anything, there would always be a car too! He knows the car make of all his classmates (as well as all of their birthdays too) and will describe his friends using their car rather than themselves.

He used to have an obsession with flags and maps, when he was 4 he could tell you the flag of any country but I don't think he remembers half of them now.

He has always had poor fine motor skills, he couldn't hold a pencil when he started reception class.

He takes things VERY literally and you cannot ever have a joke with him, although he does have his own little weird sense of humour.

He has started having massive meltdowns, always on the way home from school and always much worse on a Tuesday (which is P.E day). He will last out and sometimes hit others with these, but will calm down after 10-15 mins. He has only had one during the summer holidays so far though. He has started lashing out at his younger sister, most recently because she dared to go near his lego he had been playing with for 2 hours.
As soon as the clock says 12pm he has to have lunch. And it absolutely cannot be a hot meal, always a sandwich. Likewise he would never see cold food as an evening meal.

He has started explaining to me that certain lego colours can't go next to each other. He has a electronic tablet, all of his apps are sorted into certain categories and are lined up very neatly.

He recently had £51 in birthday money, and he had to give away the £1 because he couldn't stand the money not being an even number.

There is so much more I will run out of room. He doesn't have a close group of friends at school, tells me he plays alone a lot but his teacher said he is popular with all of the class. He does have some nice friends on our street so I know he plays with others well.

[ShinyTamatoa]

And I had just written that all out with paragraphs etc but I guess the app doesn't like it. Annoying.

[Dannygirl]

We have just gone through an ASD assessment for DS and many of the behaviours you describe are ASD traits. It's worth chatting to your GP about it and seeing if you can get a referral. PS it's all shown up in paragraphs just fine!

[ShinyTamatoa]

Oh it doesn't show as paragraphs for me.

I have thought in the past that some of his traits were signs of ASD but as he was doing well at school I didn't wish to persue it. But his handwriting has noticeably got worse as has his behaviour, I don't want him to be on a downward slope as he is so bright I want him to be able to reach his full potential.

My question was supposed to be who do I speak to about a referall, I don't want to be laughed out of the GP surgery or fobbed off.

[Dannygirl]

I am not sure if it's different in different areas but yes I think it's likely to be see your GP and request a Paediatrician referral. They may want to see your son so it's worth checking this. I guess it depends on whether you're comfortable talking about your concerns in front of your son. If not perhaps you could do it across 2 appointments (this is what I did) or have your son sit in the waiting room with someone while you explain your concerns. Take a list of your worries like you have in your post, and don't take no for an answer! How do you usually find your GP - are they helpful? Good luck please ask if you have other questions

[tartanterror]

I have thought in the past that some of his traits were signs of ASD but as he was doing well at school I didn't wish to pursue it. But his handwriting has noticeably got worse as has his behaviour, I don't want him to be on a downward slope as he is so bright I want him to be able to reach his full potential

Exactly our situation until last year when our DS was diagnosed aged 7. The diagnosis doesn't change much but it has allowed me to advocate for him at school which has made things a lot better for all of us. I also was able to apply for an EHCP so we will be able to choose a secondary school for him based on provision, rather than how close it is, which is a massive relief. It is a bitter sweet moment, getting the diagnosis, but it was definitely the right thing for our family. We would have not had access to any support without it.

[ShinyTamatoa]

The only thing that seems to be in the way now is DH. I explained to him my concerns and I think he believes I'm just being an overprotective mother and that there isn't anything wrong with him. He says the things he does are just the way he is.

[Dannygirl]

It's a really difficult one Shiny and it's really common. We had the same situation of others (DH and his family mainly) just saying DS was badly behaved / spoilt / quirky - you name it. Would he read any books or come along to any appointments with you? In my case I just pursued it and luckily the paediatrician I discussed my concerns with was very supportive. Having been through a couple of assessments and heard from the professionals direct my DH is now totally on board. Be aware that sometimes a child being assessed / diagnosed raises the possibility of an undiagnosed parent or family member so there are lots of things tied up in it. Hope that helps x

[ShinyTamatoa]

My brother has high functioning autism and my father in law has a diagnosis of aspergers, which only got diagnosed a few years ago.

I think DH will be on board. He just says DS is too sociable to have asd. I then reminded him when he was trying to talk to him earlier how many times did he have to ask him to look at him, because he couldn't give eye contact.

[tartanterror]

Yep - same again here. DH resisted the idea for a long time so I lost confidence and didn't press on. Eventually I decided that things had got too difficult and that diagnosis/assessment was the way to go. He didn't stop me but wasn't overly keen. He has now accepted it and tries to keep up but I am definitely in the driving seat when it comes to providing support and advocating for external support. It seems to be the usual arrangement that mothers do this work. I feel a bit bitter about it at the moment as I'm having a bad day!

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

I would see your GP asap and ask this person to refer you to a developmental paediatrician (not a community paediatrician). It could well take some considerable time for you to see such a person so if you have the means of seeing someone like this privately do so.

Teachers generally are not trained in any forms of special needs so am not surprised they have not said all that much. It also sounds like he is beginning to find school more difficult now because he seems to be bottling up all the frustrations of the school day or around P.E (hence the meltdowns on the way home).

Your DHs reactions do not really surprise me at all and is to me a form of denial by not wanting to believe or accept what is going on re his son. I have seen that time and time again on here.

In the meantime continue to diarise your son's behaviours both at home and school; this will also help the paediatrician.