Can you have mild Aspergers?

[GoogleNotHelping]

I'm probably really overthinking this but would appreciate any help or advice.

DS is 8, very bright, loves school and academically is doing very well. He is very good at maths, has a really good general knowledge and most of the time comes across as being confident and happy.

But school are getting increasingly worried about his emotional reactions to things that don't go according to plan. He had always been emotional and cries easily but it was always suggested that he would grow out of it. He struggles with sudden changes to routines, can't cope at all with perceived unfairness and gets very upset when people 'break the rules'. It seems now that it's not just the crying, it's angry outbursts and shouting. Often it seems that he has an idea in his head around how a situation will play out and if it doesn't go that way he finds it very difficult and gets upset.

He seems to have high expectations and school say that he seems anxious when he doesn't achieve what he thinks he should. I should add that we're not pushy with him, we don't expect him to be top or to win and we consciously don't compare him with others.

He has friends but can be a loner and doesn't seem to have the same social interaction that I see between his school friends. His teacher has commented that he is well liked but that others don't always 'get' him. He is particularly clumsy and doesn't cope well when he gets hurt.

I have read about ASD and Aspergers (in the back of my mind I have always wondered whether he is different in some way) and whilst I don't think he has all of the symptoms but he does seem to display some of the indicators of Aspergers. Is this possible? Am I overreacting? And I guess the main question is what should I do next? I want to help but I'm at a loss to know how to help him. He needs some sort of coping strategy but what?

(Please be kind, I posted years ago about him and got told to tell him to 'man up' and that he would end up with no friends if he carried on bursting into tears when things didn't go his way.)

[Polter]

I would definitely pursue assessment if you suspect autism. Clearly he is struggling, and that needs looking into.

Do read Ross Greene's book 'The Explosive Child' as it is brilliant.

[GoogleNotHelping]

Thank you for the replies, I think I needed someone to tell me that I wasn't being ridiculous. 95% of the time you wouldn't see anything unusual and we don't have a lot of these outbursts at home.

Yes, I do think school will be supportive. Last week was the first time that they highlighted it as becoming a problem - previously I think it was put down to him being emotional and needing to 'mature'. They want to help him and have suggested starting with the SENCO teacher.

I will start making a list, that's good advice. It wasn't until I starting writing this last night that I realised how many things didn't seem quite right.

[OneInEight]

Definitely worth exploring the possibility of an ASC if school are raising social and emotional problems. Many children with HFA are not identifed until juniors or even senior school so just because you haven't seen big issues at a younger age do not dismiss an ASC. School raised similar concerns about ds1 and ds2 at a similar age and both were diagnosed with AS at age 10.

[Dannygirl]

Gosh zzzzz that's so interesting about needing 20 positive experiences to counteract a negative one. Good luck OP it's definitely worth getting your son assessed. He sounds quite like my son who is diagnosed dyspraxia and going through autism assessment at the moment x

[drummergirl34]

If he's as intelligent and bright as you say, he'll learn to mask his problems with his emotions. Talk to him about it and about coping strategies - e.g. take a deep breath, count to five in his head before reacting etc.

[Imaginosity]

Just as you were asking about 'mild' autism - have a look at this comic - down towards the end of the article.

themighty.com/2016/05/rebecca-burgess-comic-redesigns-the-autism-spectrum/

[GoogleNotHelping]

Thank you again, there is some very helpful advice here and I really appreciate it.

I like the cartoon - it makes a lot of sense. DS is very bright and in so many situations does very well and this explains perfectly why he finds other environments so difficult. With hindsight 'mild' was a poor choice of words but I couldn't think of another way to describe it.

I have started reading a bit about 'masking' - very thought provoking.