Vulnerable 12 year old

[vickifaith]

First post in this section so bear with me :)

My daughter has a chromosome disorder (deletion 18p) Although it does effect her - I do feel it's pretty mild and she currently is at a main stream school (achieving in the lower end of ability).

One thing she does really struggle with is communication and social aspects.

I have tried numerous times trying to get her assessed for autism...and although they think she has traits they won't fully diagnose her. If I'm honest I don't know if it is autism (I went after that diagnosis because it's the only help out there) but frankly I think she has unique struggles.

She is so so vulnerable. She isn't street smart and doesn't understand when someone is being nice or nasty. A group of 10 children cornered her yesterday at school and asked her to dance (she's as bad as me at dancing ) she did it and they all laughed. She said she can't say no. She doesn't get sarcasm at all. Which can be really distressing for her. Equally she doesn't understand when someone is being nice and often interprets it for nastiness. She is so emotional and cries every day.

This past few weeks she has come to me and said she feels different, they kids don't play with her and often tease her. And is confusing her.

She isn't statemented/EHC as schools have said she would not qualify due to her academic ability not being too bad.

I just feel like no one is taking her or me seriously. It's heart breaking to see my happy, caring child go through so much. And I wonder if she would be better in a special needs school.

I don't really know what I'm asking for- I guess what would you do next?? Xx

[claritytobeclear]

Well first of all, regardless of having a ECHP, the school should deal with what essentially is bullying. So I would speak to the school regarding this and how it is effecting your daughter.

Next, I would think about the type of support that you think your daughter needs and find out what type of, probably social skills support / groups, the school runs. She should be able to be included in this type of support.

To get a ECHP for high needs funding to support the school needs to show they have spent an additional £6k (out of their own budgets) supporting her. So any participation in any interventions will help them build up a picture of her needs.

Regarding any additional diagnoses, I think you need to speak to her GP for refferal.

[claritytobeclear]

Referral! Typo.

[youarenotkiddingme]

Academic ability has nothing to do with EHCP. You can apply yourself and IPSea have a great resource section on how to do this.

But bullying is separate to SN. I've had to be forceful with this a few times myself. I've simply told school that if pupils are upsetting ds whether his tolerances are lower due to asd or misunderstanding is irrelevant because bullying is doing something repeatedly knowing it causes distress or to cause distress to an individual.

I'd email whoever your contact is and simply state you want to know what they are doing to stop the bullying and support your DD to communicate effectively with her peers.