Help with my son please asd

[Nicole29]

My son is 4 been having issues for along time. Here is a little back ground. For over a year we have been referred to a peads. When I took him he got referred to phyiso and has hypermobility.
Now they have said he doesn't fit the ASD criteria.
He have massive problems sleeping and has the max of 4 hours per night and that's a good night. His eating is very rigid only eats dry foods and certain foods.
He is lovely just likes to spend a lot of his time alone and doesnt understand social ques. He says thing that are a little rude to people and doesn't realise even when I try to explain that he shouldn't say or speak to people like that. He doesn't get jokes and is very literal when talking. He does hug me which we have worked towards for along time and now I finally get a kiss which has a pattern to it my cheek forehead, other cheek and then my nose. Eye contact has improved massively.
He has an obsession about sticks and has done for over a year now to even wanting to sleep with them. He is at a childminders who have been so good because he doesn't tend to play with children and for example he like to build towers with bricks and if another child goes near him or tries to touch it, he has a full melt down that's he screams and cries real tears, he can hurt him self, for example pinching his own arms or biting him self when stressed about it. Anything he builds he wants to keep it like that and no one to touch it. He does talk but won't talk to anyone who he doesn't know use I explain for days that we are going to see people. I am now lost as I am told this is normal for his age. My other children are not like this. We have good days and bad and now I feel alone dealing with all this. Anyone who can help even with a little advice please.

[outputgap]

Hi Nicole. Can I suggest you report your post and ask to get it moved to Special Needs Children, as it gets much more traffic than here, and hopefully you'll get more responses.

[Allthewaves]

Hi. It took until middle of year 1 to get diagnosis as my asd dc is very unpredictable with his behaviours. I found once started preschool his issues were more apparent so along with preschools staff concerns and my concerns they started the process.

Have you tried melatonin for sleep issues

[FrayedHem]

Did they explain exactly why he doesn't fit the ASD criteria? Did he have a full assessment done/how many times was he seen?

If you still suspect ASD &/communication difficulties of any kind, I think you should get a referral to Speech and Language Therapy. You should be able to self-refer either through a drop-in clinic or by contacting the SALT department directly. They can assess his overall communication and you may be able to get a referral on to a more specialised paediatrician on the back of that, depending on what they observe and what the set up in your area is.

[nad79]

Hi, if your son doesn't meet the criteria for ASD after the multidisciplinary meeting and from taking into account all the reports, then you can request that they do an ADOS. This is what happened to us. They said my son didn't meet the criteria, however they also said they didn't have enough observations. They wanted us to wait and see. I had to push to have an ADOS which is next month.
If they still say he doesn't meet the criteria then I will get them to refer to the Centre for High Functioning Autism. They will only see you if you have already had an ADOS, for a second opinion. You can do the same. If they all say it's not ASD then I guess it's not! Good luck with it all. It's hard and you need to keep pushing services by harassing them constantly. It shouldn't be like that, but it is where we live, which is Barnet. All the best x

[Nicole29]

One min he does then the next he doesn't he has had no formal assessment had 2 visit to peads and 2 6 months apart support worker. There only concern at the moment is my sons sleeps which on a good night is 4 hours which has been going on longer than I can remember. They pointed thing out like his eye contact has improved but still isn't great. He does kiss me as his mum but there is a routine it's my left cheek forehead then right cheek and nose never on the lips of people he gags and makes him self sick.

[FrayedHem]

I'd do as Nad79 above has said. If he hasn't been formally assessed and from what you say there is enough to warrant an assessment, you do really need to push back. Sometimes you end up falling into a gap in services and getting shuffled about.

Has he been seen by speech and language therapy? And I don't think eye contact is actually part of the criteria for ASD, (although plenty of children with ASD do have issues with eye-contact, it's not part of the requirements for a diagnosis).