DS being referred to SALT / pediatrician for suspected Social Communication Disorder

[BellaGoth]

He has just turned 4. Nursery expressed concerns so I made an appointment with the GP who said it was a "parenting issue". So went to our (lovely) HV who has done 2 assessments, one on educational development and one on social and emotional skills. He scored considerably ahead on the first, and very behind on the second.

So he is being referred. The HV has mentioned Social Communication Disorder, pathological demand avoidance and high functioning autism. She also said it could purely be down to having had a really stressful year last year (death of family dog which DS didn't take well, death of my MIL which DS just hasn't processed at all, me very ill with hyperemesis, birth of his baby sister a little premature, plus Dh had a really rough patch after his mum died). It's a lot for an adult to process, never mind a little boy.

So I guess now I wait. I'm really struggling with behaviour and dont know if I should start researching things like HFA and try some new techniques now, or hang fire.

I'm a bit all over the place tbh. To make matters worse my parents "don't believe in autism" so I'm getting zero support from them.

Any advice?

[BellaGoth]

Ugh, tell me about it. I expect stupid comments like this from my mother, but my dad is actually fairly intelligent. My step mum is lovely though and will hopefully set him straight.

He's very aggressive with other children. He bites and hits with no warning. I've posted before actually, I'll see if I can find it an will post a link.

He struggles with change. Right now my biggest challenge is finding an acceptable replacement toothbrush.

So many little things that just make day to day life hard work.

[BellaGoth]

My most recent thread is here. I have no idea why I name changed for it!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2797359-Can-I-Temporarily-Withdraw-3YO-from-Nursery-Funding

[BellaGoth]

Possibly more useful background if you're really bored!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/2754040-How-can-I-figure-out-whats-troubling-3YO-DS

[crazybat]

Im a pda mum (self diagnosed) it doesnt exist in real life 😂 so happy to give you any answers to any questions you may have x

[BellaGoth]

crazy what do you mean it doesn't exist? I've not googled any of it as I don't want to scare myself unnecessarily.

[BellaGoth]

Hopeful bump for the evening crowd!

[BellaGoth]

Thanks for replying zzzzz. Honestly I've agonised over triggers, I just can't figure it out. Tonight I was laying on his bed with him, reading him bedtime stories and he just leaned over and pinched me on the face, hard enough that it's left a mark. I asked him why and he just shrugged and smiled.

Toys are definitely a huge issue. His lego goes away if we're having guests, no questions. Last time I looked after a friend's dd for a couple of hours so I put together two identical trays of cloud dough and molds. It still descended into chaos with DS insisting he should have all of it. We rarely socialise now tbh.

[crazybat]

Sorry i mean its not in the diagnositc manual so therefore cannot be diagnosed as a condition in its own right. So you have to go down the asd route or go privately.

[BellaGoth]

Thanks zzzzz, he usually fiddles around with his cuddly toys. I'll sort out something like you suggest.

SO confused over the PDA thing now! Why on earth did the hv mention it if it's not recognised?

[crazybat]

It most definitely is a thing but not nhs recognised if your HV mentioned it you have a good HV. Visit the PDA website and join the pda groups. Everything from being a ridiculously baby to an over active imagination as well as the asd traits rang true. X