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DSS Speech Delay

(18 Posts)
Imavinoops Thu 05-May-16 22:36:51

This is my first thread on here so do excuse me if I ramble.
DSS has a speech delay and try as I might I'm finding it incredibly difficult to help him start to speak. I was wondering if anyone had any advice (well anything different from the speech therapist who imo is rubbish considering she gives us the same advice every time we see her even though his development is clearly different every time)

Speech therapist has advised lots of baby signing but DSS just really isn't interested. He already points and takes us to things he would like. He waves his arms about (kinda like a mini fist pump haha) when he is saying "yes" so he has pretty much got his own version of signing so I doubt he sees the need for anything else as his works pretty well. She also advised various things like taking turns and saying "Daddy's turn" or "My turn" etc but beyond that she really hasn't given us anymore advice in almost a year.

DSS is 3 and the only words he says are "YEEEARRRGHH" "uhoh" and "ow" but even when he says these things they don't come out clear or quite right if you know what I mean. Occasionally he will copy things I say like "Bupbup" for beep beep but he never does them again and never tries to engage with us by saying these things again.

I have worked in nurseries and therefore have been trying the things that they would try such as nursery rhymes, games, talking ALL the time about EVERYTHING, singing, imaginative play etc. It all seems to be going in as his understanding is pretty good and most of the time do things you ask (depending on his mood like all toddlers haha) but none of it seems to be coming back out.

Really I'm looking for a bit of advice, any new ideas and probably a little support too. ;) In the 11 months I have been around he has progressed from just shouting "aaahhhh" to those few little words up there. I'm desperate to help him speak as the poor sausage is getting so frustrated and cross when we don't understand what he wants or is talking about which in turn makes us rather stressed as nearly everything is turning into temper tantrums at the moment.

I'm the main person he spends his day with now (DP is now at work while I stay home with DSS instead of him) so I'm clearly in one of the best positions to help him but I'm feeling so frustrated and upset that we get little to no progress most of the time. He seems to be a pretty complicated little chap so if you need more background info on him to help then I'll add that in. smile We have been referred to a SECO team but we haven't heard anything in months (apparently their waiting list is a year!) and the health visitor is organising a trip to a pediatrician to check any underlying causes (maybe asperges which his dad is currently being tested for) but I would love to be able to do more in the meantime.

Tissie Thu 05-May-16 23:06:47

I have lots of resources for specific teaching sessions. If you pm me I can send you my email and give ideas and resources. Three or fours daily short sessions between 5 and 10 minutes can make a lot of difference. I am a retired senco who worked with both language delay and disorder. I now do private tutoring.

Sausagepickle123 Thu 05-May-16 23:09:57

Hi - sounds like you are doing great and trying so hard with him! Poor little boy, my son was a bit like that. The first thing our speech therapist told us was to get him to request things. So for example, he wanted a biscuit - hold the biscuit up and try and get him to say it before giving it to him (obvs if he can't actually say "biscuit" then any attempt to say something even just "b"'got him the biscuit). We really had to motivate our son to speak - if he really wanted it he would try (food, toys etc). The "my turn your turn " stuff came a lot later. I'm no expert this is just what helped us. The other thing that helped was pushing everyone possible for referrals! Best of luck, your DSS is so lucky to have you caring so much x

Imavinoops Thu 05-May-16 23:16:38

sausage I am trying to get him to say words whenever he wants things, mainly with food as he loves his little treats but he seems to just get so excited and starts fist pumping whenever he want things and going "eeeyaaayeeeeeysaaaa" it's like he barely hears haha! He is so funny but it really doesn't help when I'm trying to teach him ;) if I keep on going then he will eventually tantrum because he isn't getting what he wants and then will just give up and start trying to find something else to do. His attention span is often pretty limited and therefore he tends to bounce around and flitter quite a lot.

Msqueen33 Fri 06-May-16 06:15:58

I'm right there with you. Only my dc is a dd. It's very hard. She can say some words but takes me to what she wants and uses non verbal communication such as glancing. It's very frustrating as she's not hugely bothered about signing.

coffeemachine Fri 06-May-16 07:26:09

how is his understanding?

The Senco referral is probably for getting extra support at school/nursery. I would probably be looking into applying for an EHCP.

are you seen by anybody else? If not already referred I'd push for a referral to developmental paed.

As for speech/language - I found the book 'it takes two to talk' by Hanen very useful.

Imavinoops Fri 06-May-16 21:11:36

Msqueen I imagine signing just doesn't appeal to some children, especially if they already have their own way of talking to you which is understood. Just glances must be tricky to catch though!

coffee His understanding is pretty good for his age. Sometimes he ignored just like other toddlers his age but most of the time you can get him to understand and pointing to things usually helps get his attention. At the moment I'm finding that in order to get him to listen and engage when I speak to him I often have to sit with him and count to 10 so he calms down a little bit and then he finds it a bit easier to listen. The health visitor said something about a pediatrician and I think she is supposed to be referring us but we haven't heard anything for about a month and a half. Do you know how long these things usually take? I'll see if I can find that book, I'll try anything at all right now. smile

coffeemachine Fri 06-May-16 21:35:30

it can take a while for paed referrals to come through but I would chase the HV up to make sure he has actually been referred.

zzzzz Fri 06-May-16 22:36:57

3 with only one word is a very significant delay.

I'm on my phone now but will try to get back to this later so this is a bit of a place mark.

Ring HV first thing on Monday and ask if she has referred already. If not go to GP on Monday and ask for referral.

You've seen SALT, have you had hearing checked?

I would want him in a language unit and so would be applying for an EHCP, and visiting the schools that have units in your area.

Imavinoops Fri 06-May-16 22:53:47

zzzzz We have had hearing checked and that was all okay. He is being put forward for a sight test (although I'm not entirely sure why tbh)

I think DP and I will have a chat this weekend about our next steps for him. (Everything has been on hold while we have been moving atm really) I have been looking into schools near us, the only one I have found so far will only take him from 6 years old so I'm going to try and find some others too. I will get DP to book him in for a GP visit asap I think. I feel like we are going round in circles a bit with various health visitors and SALT all referring us to different people and then nothing really happening.

We are trying to potty train him at the moment also which is pretty difficult seeing as he can't tell us when he needs to go to the toilet. He can do it by himself without nappy or pants on and just goes to the potty by himself but as soon as pants are on and he needs some help to do it then it all seems to go out the window and he just can't tell us in time what he needs to do so just goes for it in his pants.

coffeemachine Fri 06-May-16 22:59:22

school from 6 onwards? are you in the UK?

Imavinoops Fri 06-May-16 23:02:22

coffee Yes I am, I thought it was a bit weird too! It goes from 6 all the way up into GCSEs I think. It's for dyslexia, dyspraxia and speech and language needs in children. I read it and was kinda like, well where do they go before they are 6?

zzzzz Fri 06-May-16 23:05:12

Google language units in your area.

ouryve Fri 06-May-16 23:11:50

Hang back on the potty training until you have some more tools. Just encourage him to go when convenient for now - last thing you want is for frustration to make him regress.

This is a situation where loud parenting is essential. Littlevinoops needs a drink? Here's a drink for littlevinoops. Littlevinoops let's put your trousers on. And now we put your top on... over your head! Where's your hands? One hand! Two hands!

(Yes, I still do all this stuff with my 10 year old, who is only just starting to speak!)

If he's not picking up on signing, either, has ASD been ruled out?

For potty training, choose an object or coloured card (or look up a PECS symbol for toilet and put that on a laminated card) and take that with you whenever he goes to the loo. If he learns that said thing always goes to the loo with him, there's a chance that he'll start picking it up when he needs to go.

Imavinoops Fri 06-May-16 23:46:57

curyve ASD hasn't been ruled in or out yet! We have been wondering and there was talk a few months back when he wasn't making much eye contact but now he is making a bit more we haven't really heard much about it. We are wondering about Aspergers too really. I think we need to push GPs and HV a bit more now. It all just seems to vague from everyone. They all speak as though they are really concerned but then nothing seems to be being put in place. The longer it goes on the longer it feels like there is a more underlying cause rather than just a speech delay. I officially need to "kick some butt" when I go in to the doctors, as my mother says. ;)

Imavinoops Fri 06-May-16 23:52:50

The signing he just doesn't seem to care about. He watches me to it and sort of shrugs it off as though I'm just being random! He generally has an air of "What on earth are you doing with your hands" haha Then he just gets back to whatever he is trying to say or trying to do! I noticed today they he struggles to copy some sounds. I was saying "Quack quack" as we looked at ducks earlier, he then looked at them and kind of gurgled "ARGGARGG" It's all a bit like noises rather than speech. You could tell he was giving it a go but it was like the noise I made didn't process properly and he just couldn't form that sound. Like I say all the things he does say come out a bit strange and not full formed words. His "Yeah" does out as "yeeeeee" or "Yeeeeearrrrrr" He says bye-bye and waves to people but it comes out as "eye eye" I also wonder if maybe there is a physical difficulty which is being missed due to this but every time he sees a health visitor or a GP nothing comes back on that end. Physically he is fine according to everyone.

zzzzz Fri 06-May-16 23:58:52

He won't get a diagnosis of Aspergers. Aspergers is ASD without speech/language delay and he doesn't fit that criteria. If he has an ASD then he would get then you would be looking at ASD or autism. Eye contact is not definitive and my child with ASD often makes good eye contact and is very enthusiastic about people, friendly and cuddly.

I suspect you are being gently ignored. To get a place in a language unit you will have to get a wriggle on as they are hotly contested. It's commonly assumed that places in any specialist units/schools are what people do when they "give up" actually that couldn't be farther from the truth. Most places in special school have to be campaigned for and there are many applicants for every place. We have don't grammar school entry for another of our children and that was VERY much easier.

Waiting lists for ASD assessment in my area takes years not months, so the sooner you get on all the lists the better things will be. Start a good filing system for all the letters etc as they are your evidence of need for all sorts of things. Also keep a record of every appointment and meeting if you can (I SO wish I had started sensibly I am rubbish at the paperwork side of things). Just a notebook with date, who you met, what was said and who was going to do what next (eg 20/04/16 phoned HV she is going to refer to pead, I can call XXXX if I don't hear anything by xx/xx/xx)

BackforGood Sat 07-May-16 00:03:48

Well, they have to be "a bit vague" even if they suspect he is on the spectrum, as the HV can't diagnose- that is why she has referred to the Paed so they can assess and see if there is a diagnosis to give.

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