3 year old with developmental delays but need advise

[jellybean321]

OK so I've read many threads and posts and really would Like some help and advise about my son who has just turned three. He clearly has speech and communication difficulties and is being g seen by SALT for this . he has lots to say but its very unclear for others to understand including myself. He pronunciation is very poor and he talks in a baby voice alot . he gets very frustrated when he isn't understood ( understandable) and finds it difficult to communicate with others. He oftenreverts to using animal rroleplay noises( lion etc ) as people approach him to say hello. He isn'trreally sure how to approach new people and to be fair they don't understand what he is saying if tries to chat to them. He has had glue ear which I'msure has caused nmany of the problems. We have paid for a private speech and lang therapist who managed to move his role play forward but she said he gets so over excited and lacks concentration that there is little more that can be done until he learns to concentrate more! His concentration is very poor unless it is focusing on something he loves ( playing with his toy animals) and he won't cooperate or join in if he dosent want to ..so trying f to teach him colours and numbers is impossible. He has quite a set agenda over his interests and for example going to the zoo today he has an agenda of where to go in his head and he won't be swayed...very sulky if we don't follow it! He is happy in soft play centres, new places and happy to meet new people but for example at a party the other week in a little girls house he didn't want to stay in the small room with the others but found s place quiter to play with only a few people and get very upset with games like pass the parcel and musical statues...he just didn't understand! He can be very loud and over excitable and silly making lots of silly noises to attract attention and run about like a nutter. Yet is easily tired and still wants to sleep every afternoon and from 7pm till 8 am at night...yawning by 11am. Sorry this is so long winded ..any ideas? He is being referred to a multiply agency team for assessment as I've pushed for this and at the moment global development delay and poss autistic spectrum have been mentioned.. I just want to be armed ready with some knowledge. Thanks for reading x

[jellybean321]

And I'm worried as he isn'trreally playing with anything. It was always his animals he played with and even theyare not of real iinterest at the moment. He dosent seem to know how to play with anything even when modelled or playing tog with me?!

[pandyandy2]

Hello!

Goodness, our sons sound similar! My son is 3 years 4 months and has regular SALT for a speech n language delay/disorder and he has just been referred for autism assessment due to many behaviours also.
He too loves busy environments such as soft play and being around other children, however he really struggles to take turns or even understand the games he TRIES to participate in, (so it usually ends in tears, or worse.)
My son also doesn't particularly 'play' with toys when at home. (He does at preschool but its 'different' toys and everybody else his age is playing, but at home, not particularly unless I play also and it's exhausting isn't it x)
In this last year I have kind of learned not to care as such about colours, numbers and my son learning letters etc... Between me and the SALT we are just trying to build my son's attention/listening and concentration skills, so lots of repetitive turn taking games...but we are seeing progress and with many of the strategies given my son is also 'calming' as he did/does have some hyper behaviour!
As for the tiredness hun...I'm not sure...my little man is like the duracel bunny...he just doesn't stop.

Xx

[jellybean321]

Thanks so much for your response pandy what sort of games and activities do you do through SALT? I've had to pay private as our SALT team have said until his concentration improves there is nothing they can really do about his poor pronunciation. I really worry about his poor communication and social interaction but its august prob before we might be seen by a multi agency team to see what is wrong with him. He can play but only really with adult support and then he will join in and continue the game...like you said its so tiring :( can I ask what behaviours do they see as triggers for your own little boy to be assessed? My son wants to interact but finds it so difficult to communicate well with others x

[pandyandy2]

Well after my son's initial Speech and Language assessment, the SALT (who works for an Early Years Outreach unit) actually 'deployed' if you like, a Specialist Early Years Teaching Assistant to come to our home every week for eight weeks, (for 30 minutes,) to deliver a block of 'play therapy'!
This consisted of us all taking it in turns on the floor to build towers, and then my son would have to wait for 'ready, steady go' before he was able to knock it down; put pegs into a board IN TURNS to make simple patterns; take turns to choose coloured cars to race down ramp and again take turns to cut up wooden fruits of choice.
These same games then progressed as the weeks went on to include more vocabulary (ie colour of cars/ size of blocks etc) until finally my son may have been specifically asked to 'cut up the 'banana' THEN put it on the 'big' plate.)
I know it all sounds so simple...but in October my son couldn't even wait for 'go' before knocking down a small tower (and didn't even want to share he blocks in the first place) getting cross and kicking out, now obviously April (with the therapy, me mirroring at home AND using other strategies given) my son takes turns nicely WITH ME, uses some of the vocab targeted and CAN wait for 'go'.)

(I put 'with me' in bold as he still can't particularly turn take with other children or even his own siblings very well yet, but hey it's progress!)

In the past six months I have constantly mentioned ASD to the SALT and even got a paed appointment for a referral for assessment because although my son has received AMAZING outreach support, my son's behaviour/development has always seemed 'different' to that of my other two children (or nieces/nephews etc.)

It's easy to write this today as I wrote all of this out last week for the permission letter for assessment...

As soon as my son could move he was full on/never stopped. (So climbing everything, pulling things out of cupboards etc. not particularly interested in toys.) 7-18 months but just put it down to 'boisterous boy' stereotype.

Still full on, sometimes doing 'dangerous' things (ie would climb everything, jump from a height etc.) No interest in books or nursey rhymes. No words. 18-24 months. Again just a boy?

Very few, 'strange sounding' words and still very boisterous behaviour to the point that we were struggling as a family and it was super hard work taking him anywhere. Hated the singing/reading I was doing to encourage speech. 24-30 months. Boy?

Sought support/advice and started learning Makaton but then realised my son wasn't particularly 'looking' to actually see the Makaton signs and with the intervention I saw just how poor he was at turn taking. 30-35 months. Brain started tying things together.

Knew thing weren't right so saw the paed even though he was having SALT intervention and this point my son was being VERY SPECIFIC about things (ie the way things were placed at bed time, the way he went to the toilet etc.) 36 months.

Other things that 'along the way' haven't 'sat right' with me but I didn't 'think about' at the time...

My son has been through lots of odd phases (ie not liking dirt on his hands, not liking tiny spillages on the table cloth, hating having his teeth brushed, hating having his hair washed, turning lights on and off etc.) and in the last 4-5 months my son has taken to walking on his tip toes and covering his ears to specific noises (ie the toilet cistern filling, water running in the bath, the hairdryer etc.)

Whatever the outcome (as my son does contradict some traits and as I said LOVES company and IS affectionate,) I am grateful to have been listened to and him have been referred.

(How silly, he's only young and most of that is in the past tense when actually we are still smack bang in the thick of it (though he has calmed down.)! It's not like he now magically loves singing and is a breeze to take out haha.)


xx

[jellybean321]

Thanks pandy that's really interesting to read and giving me ideas for where to go next. With some of the things you have written about phases like not liking dirt on his hands that is something we are dealing with now. We also struggle when out and about and my son has no interest in nursery rhymes and songs...is that an area linked to ASD? Yep turn taking isn't great and if there is a group activity like sharing a story or rhyme at a playgroup he will not join in and wanders off to do his own thing! Like you say its been labeled as a boy thing! He will get there soon! He is your only child! Well my gut like yours says different wish I could get the play therapy support like you had but it dosent deem to be on offer xx

[pandyandy2]

I don't specifically know whether disliking and never joining in with nursery rhymes is a trait, but it is certainly 'different' if you see what I mean. I have two girls of eight now and six and they always LOVED singing and nursery rhymes, knew them all! Now obviously my third child is a boy...but SO MUCH just feels so 'different'.

In regards a bit more helpful intervention (ie play therapy) for your son, just pester everybody! Ask your Health Visitor what can be provided, go to your GP, ring AFASIC or ICAN and ask for advice, they may point you in a good direction.

AFASIC and ICAN are charities with websites specialising in helping people of all ages with communication difficulties, whether linked to another issue or not. I have found them super helpful.

Xx

[jellybean321]

Thanks so much xx ill contact them. X