Dd age 6 due ados

[Pootrouble]

Hi not posted for a while. Dd had some issues since birth really, late to talk and walk but managed both, has diagnosed sensory processing issues, has obsessions and collections , sleep issues and food issues and has spent time at the CDC (who couldn't assess her as she was 5 by then so shunted her onto children's services waiting list).
Anyway, at home dd has huge meltdowns and massive anxiety which seems to be key to her tand outlets, she also school refuses daily but we manage to get her in. At school she is calm and compliant and they see her as a good child who is well liked.
At home she is a tyrant with massive control issues! She can hold conversations well and I'm worried that despite lots of past history and evidence that she will pass the ados and where will we go from there?

Previously at appointments she has been reluctant to talk or say much if at all but if she's in a chatty mood she may talk there ear off. We have really issues at home which school don't see and now the assessment is looming I'm thinking we may just end up back at square 1 again!

[imip]

This was us really with dd. She was diagnosed with ASD late last year. I was really scared that she would 'pass' ados. She can be very sociable, chatty, not nervous. They saw through that though and saw that really she talked about herself, she lacked depth in her conversation. She'd answer their 'cliffhangers', but only with one question, mother turn the conversation onto herself. They noticed this in fact, much more than I ever did! Her facial expressions seemed over exaggerated (copied and learnt), they did not always match what she was talking about/or what she should have been conveying.

I'm not sure if this is down to the quality of the person doing ADOS. I'd be interested to know how much room there is for subjective judgement. But dd also met the criteria for ASD in a one-on-one discussion with a psych, school observation and the 3di parental interview.

Like you, school thought I was neurotic. We'd been seeing a child psych for a year previous at a borough early intervention service. She looked me in the eye and told me dd did not have ASD. God I'd love to bump into her again!!!

Thing is, I think that ADOS (and like diagnostic tools) are pretty thorough. I was convinced they wouldn't see through her and I'd need to request DiSCo or book a costly private assessment with someone well versed with autism in girls, but we really have been fortunate that once we got to the right place, it all went ok. Only problem was it took us 2 years to get there!

[Ineedmorepatience]

She sounds like my Dd3! The queen of masking!

She didnt have Ados as part of her assessment but she has had it since as part of a psych we knows professional development, she was practising testing older girls.

It shouted clearly to me that her diagnosis should never be thought of as mistaken.

Many people doubt its effectiveness for girls but again I think ut depends on the person doing the test.

If there are still doubts afterwards, get a social communication assessment done by a SALT and yes ask for a DISCO, thats what was used for Dd3 originally when she was diagnosed!

Good luck

[Pootrouble]

Thanks both for your replies that's really helpful.
We will also have a 3di as part of the process and that along with the ados will be put together with her previous history to decide on a diagnosis if any. She is a very tricky character and I can see how it would be difficult to assess her. I will definitely bear in mind the disco assessment though, school see small glimpses of her difficulties (she takes earphones into school as she hates the noise of other children eating so needs them for lunchtime), but I'm sure they would say she was a model pupil still