My poor DD is really struggling at school. She is constantly in tears. She has come out of school sobbing her heart out every day this week, most of last week and she's just getting worse. She says she hates school. She struggles to articulate why she hates it so much. I don't even know if it's just school in general she hates or is it that school in particular?
I don't know how much of this is just to be expected with ASD. People tell me anxiety is normal for people with ASD, so should I just accept that she is going to be upset all the time for the rest of her school years?
She is a completely different person to the 4 year old who started school, she's a totally different person to the one she was last year. She is just regressing in front of my eyes...but I've been told this is normal too. So I need to accept it even though it's like watching a car crash in slow motion.
I've tried accessing support for her. School are slowly putting stuff in place, I still think they're a bit shit but they tell me they're doing what they can.
Her CAMHS referral got bounced back - as her anxiety is an ASD issue not a mental health issue apparently. She doesn't see anyone else.
I've considered moving schools 100000's of times just in case it is the school that's causing her anxiety. We've even found one with a space that has a good SEN policy and DD looked round. She wants to move but I don't think she has any realistic idea of what it involves. She is totally head in the clouds and when I talk to her about it she just comes out with nonsense (to me) and I get the impression she doesn't really understand...or maybe I don't understand HER.
It would be a big change. I know she would be terrified of starting a new school where she doesn't know anyone. She would probably not make friends. It might not be realistically any better...
At least in her current school everything is familiar and she has friends, even though they exclude her a lot and are often quite nasty to her. These are friends she made in reception and year 1 back when she was confident and sociable (in her clumsy way). She can't speak to strangers now, she won't even look at them! So she'll struggle to make new friends.
DD says she wants to move schools because she doesn't like all the arguments between her friends (they fall out constantly) but surely it's better for her to have some friends even if they fall out a lot, rather than no friends at all?
I feel so clueless, I have no experience of ASD before my DD and I feel I have no idea what to do or how to help her.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
I don't understand my DD, I don't know how to help her and there is nobody to give me any advice...
craftyoldhen · 03/02/2016 22:20
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