Possible SN three year old, speech delay, don't know where to start with potty training!!

[Whoknewitcouldbeso]

We have a potty, we have training seats for every toilet in the house and we have a 37 month old who will tell us when he has had a poo (sometimes). If we ask him if he wants to sit on the toilet he says no. We have placed him on a potty and the toilet periodically and he will sit for a few seconds then start saying nooooo and get off.

He is under no pressure from preschool to be potty trained anytime soon. He is in pull ups and doesn't start school till Sept 2017. But I'm aware children should ideally be toilet trained around three and I'm concerned we haven't started yet.

His speech is definitely improving. His preschool is concerned he has SN so are asking for a one to one SALT professional to attend preschool and also asking for a paediatrician appnt for him. All those forms are going in in March. I am also 38 weeks pregnant so probably have a lot on my plate right now without adding potty training into the mix. But I think summer would be a good time to try when the weather is better. He loves chocolate so would definitely be motivated by that as a bribe. Any tips or book recommendations?

Thank you

[Bananasinpyjamas1]

Wait for a diagnosis, to settle in with your new baby and get your head around what your child's general needs are first. I've a 3 year old who's just been diagnosed with autism, and not potty trained. I've decided to help my child with language and other weaknesses first.

[blaeberry]

First thing I would say is you potty train when your child is ready not when he is at an expected age. Some dc 'get it' the minute they turn 2, others still struggle at 4 and this is entirely normal (even with no SN). My ds didn't really get it until he was 5 though we started training at 3. In retrospect this was probably due to dyspraxia though we didn't realise he had this when we started toilet training (though we knew he had speech delay). As you are expecting any day, I would put off trying until you are settled with the baby.

The other thing I would say is every child has a different journey to being trained. I would give polters suggestion a go and you may find them very helpful but a lot of them wouldn't have worked with my dc. My dc were all slowish trainers and not at all reward driven. Some dc just seem to need to be shown pants and they are dry day and night. Some take a lot longer that is mostly down to the child not the parents technique.

If your dc are like mine, buy lots of cheap pants, trousers, socks and washable shoes!