Unable to cope with ds4. Awaiting asd assessment

[Miaza]

I have suspected ds had hfa since he was 2 but his symptoms have intensified massively over the past few weeks. I do have the patience to deal with him right now and the only way I find he complies is when I raise my voice . Some egs of his behaviour
Absolutely point blank refuses to share toys.
Snatches toys from other kids
Starting to recognise that other kids don't want to be friends with him.
Has always said he prefers to play alone.
Never talks about making friends or wanting friends.
Moves away if another child wants to play
Has started hitting and scratching me when he doesn't get his own way. This can happen at least 5 times a day.
Takes a lot of convincing to do something
Has no respect for other people's property eg wilfully throws things
Deliberately does things and annoys others when he has repeatedly been asked not to.
Refuses to cooperate on activities he doesn't want to do but has extreme focus when he enjoys something.

Nursery have confirmed some of these observations. His speech is above average, he can read emotions well, good eye contact. We have a SLT assessment soon and meeting with paediatrician in July.

I am utterly scared what will happen when he enters Reception in September. He will be attending a private school and so I guess any statement (if he gets one will be meaningless).

I am not helping him much as my patience has worn down and I feel utterly shit. I have been a SAHM since he was born. I can't say that I find dh particularly helpful though I have asked him to take ds away for a week so I can have some space.

Does this sound like HFA?
Would appreciate any advice.

[2boysnamedR]

It's hard to say if any of the things you son does could be autistic traits. Some sound they could be traits but someone needs enough of the triad of impairments for it to be asd. So would like to even guess if it could be asd.

It does sound like you need to be talking to his new school before he starts. Even better get the nursery to write a list of concerns for you to give to school.

Try not to worry to much, it's a hard age but at the same time never ignore your gut feeling. If your concerned enough to think this isn't a normal toddler phase then it's the right time to be talking to nursery and school.

I hope you get some support and a rest soon

[2boysnamedR]

Sorry I mean "I wouldn't like to guess" I was convinced my seven year old had asd ( I still wonder some days) but he hasn't. But I was right to question my instinct when he was a toddler.