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Not sn related more friendship but know you guys will give me a good chat too ...:(

(9 Posts)
greener2 Sat 16-May-15 21:02:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jacksterbear Sat 16-May-15 21:11:52

greener sad hugs flowersflowersflowers xxx

greener2 Sat 16-May-15 21:27:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose Sat 16-May-15 21:51:39

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greener2 Sat 16-May-15 21:56:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

senvet Sun 17-May-15 01:01:20

Oh Greener If your friend only knew what a star you are for your dc, she would have you at the main ceremony.

It is strange how disability makes mainstream people uncomfortable. I think it is unconscious a lot of the time. As a wheelchair user, I would go to get togethers of class mums, but I would have to contact someone in advance to make sure that they sat next to me. Unconsciously, they would all give me room and fill all the places at the table furthest from me!

Now it may be that I am a crashing bore, or that I smell, but I think it has happened often enough in different groups that I can say that it is something to do with being afraid of getting it wrong, or just feeling a bit awkward.

There are loads of people that I have lost touch with, so I am making a mental effort to initiate the contacts as there is something in their heads which makes it hard for them to get round to me.

If you want to keep this friend, then tackle it after they are married and invite them to some specific neutral place for a heart to heart and to admire the photos etc.

If you think you are seeing her in a new light, and you are growing apart, then don't bother and get her a wedding present of a book on how to avoid unconcsious discrimination.

One of my very best friends didn't invite me to her wedding, but she is godmother to my dd and vice versa, so it came right.

Hang in there - things like break up or disability soon sort out who your real friends are.

Jacksterbear Sun 17-May-15 09:38:19

Hope you're feeling a bit better this morning greener. Fwiw I would have felt gutted and humiliated too. As for the comment - yep heard that one many times! Along with "if they are hungry enough, they will eat" and "but surely you can just MAKE him go to school?!". As I tell myself, people are generally not trying to be unkind but are clueless. brewcake

Banananutella Sun 17-May-15 10:27:13

That's really insensitive. Have had similar and it hurts.
People can be really thoughtless

greener2 Sun 17-May-15 11:20:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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