I go round in circles re my 6 year old DS, and whether he has any potentially diagnosable issues, or whether it's just him.
Since he was fairly young, he has had some social issues. Not major ones - he has friends - but he doesn't always play brilliantly with them. He's quite introverted, and does like to set the agenda a bit. As he's grown up, this has evolved into him telling lots of tales in the playground about very minor issues (e.g. another child not following the "rules" of a game to the letter), not being quite sure about how to join in with other people's games (e.g. he won't just start kicking a football, he'll always ask to play, and if he's told "no" he'll get upset and run to a teacher), and complaining that "nobody would play with him" if nobody wants to play his game, his way. All of this said, he really wants to have friends, but obviously other children get annoyed with his approach. He realises that some of his relationships are problematic, and will get quite upset about it. He is fundamentally a very kind and caring boy (he can go a bit overboard with this) and simply doesn't seem to understand lots of the stuff that goes in in the playground, or why other children would be mean (sometimes the "meanness" is just a perception issue - i.e. his friends wouldn't play his game, when they were already happily playing another game - which he would just join in with). He often asks whether we can talk about "feelings" and seems fascinated when I try to explain about human nature and other people's motivations. He has no issues with expressing his own feelings (he can be quite over emotional -and is very sensitive).
He is very gentle, and whatever problems he has will usually seek to resolve them by involving an adult (never physically, and only rarely verbally without adult help). This is what school are now trying to tackle.
At home he plays fairly well with his younger brother (but the games are far simpler), and likes to do things on his own a lot.
Academically he is very bright. I know this term is bandied about a lot, but he really is - easily the best in his year group at both numeracy and literacy (he now gets additional support out of the classroom for these, as is working at a completely different level to even the top groups). He is very curious and loves to read. He gets quite geeky about subjects - space, geography, history etc - but doesn't have any "special interests" as such, rather a fairly broad range. He fully understands that other people do not always share his interests. He has an almost photographic memory for facts, and is astonishingly good with numbers in terms of mental arithmetic. He also enjoys fiction too, though.
He is very well behaved in class although can get over emotional about trivial things, e.g. lost property (not frequently though, just occasionally). He is very motivated by the rules and rewards of the classroom. He loves school, and the playground issues don't seem to spoil his enjoyment of the learning side.
His personal organisation is good (very good for a six year old, I think). He will remember to get dressed, pack his school bag, do his homework etc without prompting. He follows routines well, but is not tied to them and doesn't mind if they change. He loves sport although it's not his strongest point - hand-eye coordination could be better but he can hold his own in football / tennis, and could ride a bike and swim before he was 4, so overall his coordination is fine. He is good at art (although produces very detailed, literal drawings) and music (is learning an instrument).
He can get distracted and silly in non-school activities (school say they don't see this). Sometimes he acts up in music lessons - e.g. Playing the wrong piece (for a joke? He likes to make people laugh, although in a slapstick sort of way) and has an amazing ability to appear to be somewhere else completely, yet actually take everything in.
Overall I think he is probably ok, just a but quirky and not the most socially competent child, and yet I have this niggling worry that I'm missing something (albeit minor) that might become more of an issue as he gets older. He was unhappy in reception (different school), and school involved an EP who said that he was bright, socially not brilliant and therefore was genuinely getting bullied, but that she saw no signs of ASD (I asked outright).
He moved schools for year 1 - again school reports said very, very bright, needs to work on relationships in unstructured time (there were never any major issues though, nothing that we needed to discuss outside of parents evening).
He moved schools again for year 2 (unfortunately, we moved house). He loves his new school, and at parents evening 2 months in they saw no issues, but a month later the teacher did ask for a meeting both re differentiating academic work, and helping him socially (the SENCO is going to work with him on social skills, using social stories). To be fair, the school said that he is not the only child in the class who will be getting extra input here.
I just wanted some opinions really. I'd hate to be missing something 'big'. The fact that different schools have repeatedly raised, albeit fairly minor, social issues leaves me wondering whether there is something which we should be exploring.
Sorry that it's so long.
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Do you see anything worth pursuing here (diagnosis-wise)? DS(6)
5 replies
NameChange3000 · 05/12/2014 11:02
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