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Did your child call you mum when they were two?

(16 Posts)

I'm getting more sure by the day that ds2 has asd or something similar. He is a month off two and I'm keeping track of his behaviour ready for his 2 year review. Thats not what i'm posting for today smile

For background though - His speech has only come on over the last month or so, and up until this week it was all one syllable words, and not many of them. Two syllable words were only those with repetition (ie nana - banana). It is literally this week that he has learnt to say hello and his name. No two words put together yet. He has headbanged walls and floors since he started crawling. He bites himself often, more rarely others and inanimate objects. And although he has the usual temper tantrums, he also has almighty melt downs. He is ridiculously independent, doesnt like anything done for him, nor being cuddled or carried. He is very clumsy and constantly has a bruised head, and cuts on his arms and legs, but he also appears to be hypermobile like me, so that could just be that.

Anyway, why I'm posting...
He doesnt call me mum. In fact he doesnt call me anything. sad And he calls dh by his name. My mum too, not nan, but her name. Mil and my nan too. I could understand it for a first child, but he hears his elder brother calling us mum/dad/nan?

I can't find any experience online of the same thing, though i know it does happen? Have any of your children done it? If so, did they grow out of it?

Ta smile

Saracen Thu 27-Mar-14 00:40:39

"Mum" was not among my older (NT) child's first words, nor among the first words of my developmentally delayed nonautistic younger child.

I didn't think anything of it - I reasoned that since I was always around, they didn't particularly need a word for me. Not that I wasn't important to them, but that they took me for granted and didn't bother remarking on me!

Your other concerns may be more significant - I don't know much about autism - but I don't think the absence of "mum" at this point is necessarily any cause for worry.

chocgalore Thu 27-Mar-14 06:23:20

both of my Dds (also Dd1 who has autism) did call me mum at that age.

are you worried about asd? have you done the M-chat? it is a sceening tool and if it flags up anything I would discuss it with GP or HV.

are you sure his hearing is fine. might be worth getting a gearing test to rule out underlying hearing issues.

chocgalore Thu 27-Mar-14 06:23:35

https://www.m-chat.org/mchat.php

DottyDot Thu 27-Mar-14 06:33:24

I don't know if this is relevant. Ds1 is now 12 and has only just started calling us Mum in the last 3 months..!

He has never had a diagnosis but I think is certainly higher up the spectrum than others - possibly aspergers but I don't know. Lots of pointers - he didn't talk until he was about 3, has never liked being cuddled or touched, didn't like certain materials against his skin, absolutely has to know what's going on each day and craves routine. Massively introverted and we have had to teach him certain social skills - looking at people was a big one - eye contact! He has also struggled with change of school year in the past - one autumn he literally forgot how to swallow food - lots of mini choking episodes.

So, he's got 2 mums and dp and I have always called each other Mummy and then our initial. He has always just used our initial, which I was sad about but accepted. About 3 months ago he started calling us Mum! Really don't know why - we've asked him and he said he doesn't know either...

I think it might be a coping mechanism with starting at secondary school - to fit in - but he says it's not that. So who knows?!

Meanwhile ds2 who shows none of the signs above has always called us both Mummy - refuses to use our initials and expects us to know which one he means grin

DottyDot Thu 27-Mar-14 06:42:54

Just done that screening test and although it's a long time ago, ds1 would have come out as 'risk for autism'. It reminded me how he also refused to point at things, wave hello/goodbye or join in anything silly if he didn't want to! He also didn't ever play with his toys - he used to tell us he had no imagination and it used to horrify him when other children came round and bashed toy cars into each other/played with things!

These days he's a maths whizz with a small but longstanding group of friends - all very different to him but he's the sensible one they rely on and look up to. He's the one that takes them into the nearest small town on the bus on Saturdays and is In Charge. Am very proud of him. We're currently working on 'conversational challenge' - teaching him how to make small talk, which he recognises people do but doesn't understand the need to (practising on grandparents!) and bribing him shamelessly - 20 conversations = chocolate reward!

Kingofthevagabonds Thu 27-Mar-14 07:29:25

My ds didn't say anything at 2 he didn't say any words until 2.5 and then only "diddi" for bus and then "grandma". My ds didn't attempt any words until he was taught makaton for some reason. He is on the waiting list for asd assessment but he would certainly not be typical if he is asd. He has many traits but not classic. He mostly calls me by my first name now.

I think the not calling you anything at that age is not indicative of anything in itself but amongst a wider picture if you feel something is not right certainly should ask for referral at two year review.

PolterGoose Thu 27-Mar-14 07:45:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thanks all

Have just done the m-chat and he has come out as risk of autism. Have screenshot it all ready for when i see the hv.

JJXM Thu 27-Mar-14 08:54:46

My DS is 4 next month and still doesn't call me mum or anything. He's only started saying yes and no in the past couple of months. I long for the day he calls me mum and I'll probably cry.

Language delay is a big red flag for ASD - if you don't find your HV visitor helpful, then you may be able to self-refer through the Speech and Language Team who will assess your DS - this is what we did and she then referred us to the paediatrician.

zzzzz Thu 27-Mar-14 09:39:01

Mine was just shy of 4 before he called me Mummy. He told me very seriously yesterday "you are my lady" .... Only numbers and colours for toddler years. Family names bar Mummy sad at 3.3 (in a day!)

PolterGoose Thu 27-Mar-14 09:50:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop Thu 27-Mar-14 10:51:28

Ds2 (ASD) used to call me by my first name. That was followed by a few years or "mum". He's now 11yrs old and has moved on to "Mother". confused

magso Thu 27-Mar-14 11:36:10

Ds (ASD) was very late talking, but used single syllable versions of our names long before he used Mum and Dad. He also used his own name long into juniors instead of I/me/mine in 'Ds do it', Ds toy - and still does at times. He did however call other peoples mums 'Mum' as that is what other children called them - or their Christian name if that was what he heard them called. Now at 14 Ds calls me Mum, or sometimes Mummy, but still uses my name on occasion! When he was about 3.5 and rarely spoke, he said Mum very clearly when sat in the shop trolley. I thought he meant me - what joy -but it was another (friends) Mum! I reacted as if he meant me anyway.

sammythemummy Thu 27-Mar-14 14:32:30

My dd started calling me mum around 18months.. She now aged 4 calls me mum (in my language), mummy and a nickname that my dad calls me... Something along the lines of "my light".

zzzz your ds at "my lady" grin beyond adorable!

sammythemummy Thu 27-Mar-14 14:43:12

Forgot to add that lately she's been calling me Mummy Pig smile

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