How to tell my 5yr old he has AS?

[Julia2132009]

He is 5 next month. Things are going badly at school and he must be feeling increasingly isolated, rejected, different to all the other children and confused about why. I feel I need to talk to him about Asperger’s/autism but I keep putting it off as I’m really worried about how he’ll react and I’m not sure how to go about it. Can anyone recommend a picture book to look at with him? He is very visual and this may help. I’d really appreciate any advice. Thanks.

[manyshadesofblack]

I have the book all cats have aspergers, but I don't feel it is the right book for my ds. It was recommended to me by a clinical psychologist so I think it may be the type of thing you are looking for. I think it might make my ds a bit sad.


I have always used the word autism around my ds so he is used to the word. When things are going well and he is happy we have had positive chats about how he is different to other people in his class eg he wears his ear defenders sometimes.

At a recent appointment he had at the children's clinic the word autism was used by the doctor a few times. When we came out I asked ds if he had heard the doctor say autism and we had a little chat about it. I told ds he has a diagnosis of autism and the only thing he said was does everyone have autism?

He has never mentioned it again. I have been advised that it is better to wait until they are older but I am like you and think it will benefit my ds to know. So I will be watching this thread with interest.

[wibbleweed]

Hi - we've always been very open about our DS2s AS diagnosis (he was dx just a couple of months after he turned 5) - besides, he was in so many meetings with professionals where it was discussed it was impossible for him to miss - his understanding is excellent (though it can't have done much for his self esteem).

We tend to talk about it in terms of finding some things more difficult than others (e.g. being in busy places, having people close to him, loud noises and strange smells) but finding other things much easier (e.g. in his case, numeracy and memorising things).

A few months after his dx, summed it up beautifully himself. 'Mum, most people's brains are curly but mine is zig-zaggy'

ww

[pinktoothbrush]

Hi We have the Cats one but first I had to explain Aspergers/Autism which was a bit much, but DS1 does love this book and enjoys comparing himself to the cats.
We also have 'I have Autism, what is that?' by Doherty et al. I like that one and so does he, but I think he was about 7 when we started using this, so not sure how it would work for your 5 yo.
It seemed a bit forced when we started to say things like 'well maybe you did that because of autism' or 'maybe that is difficult because...'etc, but we've always been extremely positive and i think once you start mentioning it, it does get easier! They're generally interested in ideas about themselves and won't have the negative reaction that some adults have because they are just finding out about it. Good Luck. x