Is this asd?

[Betty5313]

I don't know where to start!

DD is 3 years 2 months. She has always been quirky, very different to her peers - the baby who was wide awake when she was born and stayed so (no naps from 8 weeks old!), the baby who played imaginary games at 6 months picking up imaginary objects from the carpet and passing them to people .... potty trained at 15 months... obviously very intelligent.

We pressed for a referral to SALT as her speech was delayed. There was a huge gulf between her understanding and ability to communicate. Because her speech was just about within normal bounds, despite the discrepancy the therapist decided no further help was needed. When her speech did come she went from one syllable words to 12 word sentences literally overnight. This time last year she was holding long conversations about abstract concepts, playing imaginary games with all different sorts of stories for an hour or more at a time etc etc.

She has become increasingly isolated from her peers. She started preschool at 2, and played with the older children well but then started hating the noise of the younger children and struggled with the unstructured day once the older children left for school. She spent most of her time in the home corner. Huge tantrums started at home but not at preschool.

We moved her to a small private school and she copes well in the nursery class, however she has regressed in so many ways. Her speech is deteriorating - a year ago she always used the past tense correctly, she never went through a 'i goed' phase. Now it is more often than not 'i goed' 'i seed' etc etc. She doesn't really talk about any ideas any more, questions are all for the sake of asking a question rather than the amazing curiosity of last year, she talks like a much younger child than she is now and last year she talked like an adult.

She hand flaps when agitated, things have to be done exactly her way (and she isn't great at communicating what that is), she screams and screams for hours on end if things aren't right. Getting her to use the potty or toilet takes an hour each time and she won't use it without prompting any more. She started needing to be reminded, then she started saying 'i've started doing a wee' but could stop it, now she just wees where she stands and isn't bothered by it. She has become increasingly clingy and needs a parent to be involved in play at all times. Her play has become repetitive and obsessive.

We did think given the lack of social interaction with children her age and the speech delay there was possible asd this time last year but were talked out of it in favour of just being more intelligent than average .... now I think we were right to be worried and should have been pressing for a diagnosis.

What should we do? does it sound likely to be asd or just an exceptionally stubborn toddler? What help is there if it is asd? Can we 'get her back on track' - is the development that she has lost, lost for ever?

[Ineedmorepatience]

Have a look at the Potential plus uk website it used to be called the gifted children's association, there is a section on there about dual or multiple exeptionality.

It is perfectly possible infact quite common for children to be bright and have asd.

The regression of language would concern me tbh but no it doesnt mean it is lost forever.

I think if you are worried you should always go with your gut instict. make a list of all the things you are worried about and then go to your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. While you are waiting for your appointment start a diary, record any behaviours which seem outside of the normal range, what causes them and how you deal with it.

it is quite common for girls to be good at masking their issues at school but this is hard work and causes the meltdowns when they get home.

Good luck