Approaching GP re sons possible ASD.

[Fanon]

Hello,
I'm looking for some advice regarding my sons. My oldest is14 and currently being assessed by camhs for asd and adhd. I feel terribly guilty that I did not realise that his quirkiness and difficulties with school and friendship might come from a diagnosable condition and my expectations of his behaviour may have been unreasonably high.
My concern now however is my younger boys. I have suspected that my youngest (2years)is on the spectrum for a while; very independent, limited eye contact, gets distraught is someone touches him or sits too close when he does not want them too, lots of hand flapping and spinning around, scary tantrums and his speech is limited for his age. So because of these two I have been reading and trying to educate myself about asd. On doing this I have developed concerns about my three year old, he is so particular, gets terribly upset if things are done wrong, for example the toast leaning the wrong way in the toaster or food touching on his plate, everything has to be done in a certain way, plays alongside but not with other children.
I have an appointment booked with the GP in a couple of weeks for my 2 year old and I don't know what to do about my 3 year old. If I say that I want both boys assessed will I be dismissed as paranoid? Will asking for both make my fight harder? I think my youngest has the greater need but I am so scared of not addressing my three year olds. Basically should I approach the GP with my concerns about both boys at the same time or get the process moving with one before returning with my concerns about the other?
Thanks to anyone who read this, your advice will be truly appreciated.

[flowwithit]

I think you need to trust your instincts and ask GP what to do. How good is your GP?
Mine wasn't so good and dismissed me as worried mum! CAMHS did assessment at age 8 but no Dx not good either.
Got Dx ASD at 11yrs though.

[Fanon]

Thanks for your reply, sorry you had to wait such a long time for a diagnosis.
My GP is actually really good and I've had no problems in the past with referrals, but it's i realise that this is an area where parents seem to really have to fight to get anywhere!

[dietstartstmoz]

Hi Fanon,
we were in a very similar situation to you 2.5 yrs ago. We have 2 boys, then aged 3 and 5.5. We had concerns about the 3 yr old, similar to the ones described above but ASD never crossed my mind. On a Monday his nursery teacher asked if she could 'have a word' and expressed her concern, and although she never said ASD I knew exactly what she was implying, and it was very hard. On the Weds or Thurs of the same week it was parents evening for our 5.5yr old ds and my husband went. His teacher expressed concerns about some of his behaviours and again implied ASD, suggested a referral to GP and SENCO observations.
We went to the GP the following week and asked for both boys to be referred. I dont know how I held it together. The GP is lovely, and she was happy to refer them both. We had an initial appointment for them both with the developmental paed. It was obvious that DS2 has greater needs and they were both offered follow up appointmets and DS2 then had referrals to SALT, early years support etc. They were both assessed as indiviuals, it made no difference that they are brothers. We were not dismissed as paranoid and the paed gave DS2 a diagnosis and didnt for DS1 but would be happy to see us again if we have any further concerns.
I would say you should definately go to the Dr's for both, you will not be dismissed as paranoid and hopefully both of your boys will be assessed. Be kind to yourself though, it has been a few years since we had that moment of realisation and I know how devastating it is.
Good luck

[Levantine]

I was surprised when I went to my GP about DS1 that he just listened and referrred me - I was expecting to have to push, but we were out of the door within five minutes. So I would just go and tell him/her what you have posted here. Good luck

[Fanon]

Thank you so much. It's really reassuring to hear. Diet you have convinced me, I will take them both.

[LadyInDisguise]

Same here. I went to see my GP (Ask for one I knew was quite good), told him about what I had noticed (Your list would have been plenty) and ask for a referral.
This was no issue at all.

What has been longer is the wait with CAMHS until they agreed to assess ds2 (Quite afew meetings to 'review' until they gave the go ahead)

[dietstartstmoz]

list concerns for both of your Ds's when you go, but if you have a good GP they should hopefully listen and refer. Did you have to wait long for an initial appointment for your older son?

[OneInEight]

One of the questions they will ask you is family history and there is a clear genetic link with ASD so having concerns about more than one of your children is not a negative. It actually helped both my boys being seen together at our initial CAMHS appointment as their problems with social behaviour were fully evident even though they did co-operate in the session.

[Fanon]

Diet, my son was referred to CAMHS by school almost two years ago. The lack of improvement initiated the referral to their psychiatrist. However from referral to first CAMHS appointment was only a couple of weeks and so far my experience of them has been good. I am hopeful!
OneInEight that is a really good point, i hadn't thought about it like that.
I'm relived to hear all your stories about easy referrals. Its so stressfull I just want to get it going so that we are actually doing something about it.

[Dinkysmummy]

I only have one DC, but I was expecting a fight (especially as my dd shows signs of a lesser accepted ASD). However GP was fantastic and referred without an issue!
If I was in your position I would take both. It can't hurt. I would go with the other suggestions about taking lists of the concerns for each DS as individuals.

I wish you the best of luck

[flowwithit]

The wait in this area for non urgent CAMHS eg not suicidal or self harm is 4 months.

[Dinkysmummy]

That is actually good flowwithit ... My dd was turned down by CAMHS.
In this area the criteria is repeated self harm or attempted suicide. Other than that you are on your own.

Luckily dd was referred to CDC instead


Good luck op

[Fanon]

Oh my eldest had threatened suicide and was being badly bullied it was pretty critical by the time he was seen. Just thinking though that I have never seen a pre school age child in the waiting area, so I might be being overly optimistic!

[Fanon]

Dinkysmummy, thanks! Whats CDC?

[Dinkysmummy]

Child development centre... It's where the developmental paediatricians are based.

[Fanon]

Thanks. It's all a learning curve right now!

[Dinkysmummy]

Tell me bout it!

It's all the acronyms

AS/ASD/PDA/SEN/SENCO/SA/sa/sa+/SALT/OT/CDC/CAMHS/CAF/TAC/TAF

I'm sure I'm missing loads... This is just off the top of my head!

[Fanon]

Oh, my head almost exploded at the list! My dyslexic brain will struggle with the acronyms!

[Fanon]

Hi, I just wanted to thank you all for your advice.
I decided not to air any concerns about my three year old right now as I decided I was being paranoid (did chat test online and he passed everything).
The GP was fabulous about my 2 year old and made a referral to community paediatrics with no hesitation. Actually my son was asleep throughout and she said that the surgery will always refer if a parent has concerns!
We have an appointment on the 29th of may.

[Ineedmorepatience]

Great news about the referral fanon, while you are waiting for the appointment you could make some notes on both boys. If you keep a diary you can make a note of any unusual/quirky behaviours, what causes them (if you know) and how you deal with them.

Then when the proffs ask you lots of questions you will be able to refer back to your notes. If you make notes on both boys and you are still worried about the older one you can either mention it to the paediatrician at your appointment or go back to your GP at a later date.

Good luck

[Dinkysmummy]

It's great that you have your referral for the 2 year old.

Good luck

[Fanon]

Thank you both.
I have been keeping notes for a few weeks already so am going armed with a very long list!
I will of course keep an eye on my three year old, but not worried about him right now.