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Slow development

8 replies

aries1977 · 15/10/2012 18:21

Please help,
I hate this word but I?m not sure of the word to use. There is something ?wrong? with my 8 year old. I?ll list my concerns:
He?s behind at school. He?s probably around the educational age of a 4 or 5 year old.
He can?t read.
He plays like a toddler, (when comparing him to other children and/or toddlers)
He wants my attention or to be with me all the time.
He?s very touchy feely, cuddling, kissing, stroking. It?s good that he can show affection, but it is, in my opinion too ?much?.
He has few friends at school.
His attention span is minimal.
He gets quite upset at anything new, (trying food, trying new activities, going anywhere new)
This may not all seem much, but as a parent I just know this isn?t right.
Please help

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Ineedalife · 15/10/2012 19:04

Hi aries and welcome to the SN childrens board. I did ask you a couple of questions on the other board but here is another one

Has he ever been seen by a developmental paediatricrian?

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aries1977 · 15/10/2012 19:19

He's been seen by CAHMS. but only briefly, they basically saw him and dismissed us.

Its parents evening next week, so i'll see his teacher then.

But as a parent of 2 children, I just "know" something isn't right.

Thankyou for your response

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Ineedalife · 15/10/2012 19:31

I would recommend making some notes about your concerns and keeping a diary of when his difficulties occur, what causes them and how you deal with them.

Then you can take the notes and diary and ask your GP for a referral to a developmental paed.

At the same time try to see the SENCO at school as well as the teacher and find out what they are doing to support him and what concerns they have about him.

They must have some if he has got to 8 without learning to read.

They can refer to educational psychologists but are sometimes reluctant to do this so you might need to exert pressure.

You are his advocate and if you dont get help for your child no one else will. I dont mean that to sound nasty but it is the way that it is. You have to be his voice.

Keep coming on here for support and advice and hopefully someone else will be along to offer some more advice.

Good luck

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Ineedalife · 15/10/2012 19:33

Sorry meant to say, CAMHS are in the business of treating mental health issues.
If your Ds has some kind of developmental delay he shouldnt really have been sent to CAMHS.

Having said that my daughter was diagnosed with ASD by CAMHS because at the time there was only one developmental paed in my area and she wouldnt/couldnt see my Dd3.

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aries1977 · 16/10/2012 11:19

hi, thanks again for answering,
We're keeping a diary of pretty much everything. And are planning to go back to the doctors after parents evening. We're now starting to think everything he does is "wrong" and its difficult to reason as to what is normal. He sometimes lies, but they are lies that could be true, but arent. If you see what I mean?
He doesn't seem to comprehend, when he lies that he's done anything wrong.

You don't sound nasty at all. This has been going on for a while, and I guess I came here for some support. Which thankfully i've found

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moleskin · 16/10/2012 13:32

I would be firm at parents evening and say right ok ds is now 8 and still can't read, he also has problems with xyz, we now need to get him some help wouldn't you agree? Right good can you point me in the right direction of educational pyschologist for some sort of assessment?.
Be assertive and don't take no for an answer. Good luck!

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bassingtonffrench · 16/10/2012 14:45

I'd be another one pushing for an assessment by a paediatrician. Could you go back to the GP? Was there anything unusual about his early milestones? Is there a family history of any sort of developmental delay? You might also find this book useful - Robin Pauc, Is that my child?

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aries1977 · 16/10/2012 15:08

Yes we can go back to GP. We've been keeping a diary to show as proof and examples.
I think the older he's getting, then the 'gap' is getting larger.

I should probably say that he is my partners biological son, I guess the fact that we are a family, I easily slip into calling him son. We have three boys 8,7 and 6. The oldest is, educationally and socailly, behind the two younger ones.