Behavioural Problems or something else?

[Mariesthename]

This is a duplicate of a post in the Special Educational Needs Section as I wasn't sure where was more appropriate:

I would be grateful for any advice. My second son is now six and he has always been "different". When he was younger he displayed certain obsessive tendencies and disliked changes in routine or changes in plans. I did worry a little about Aspergers or OCD but never did anything about it as I assumed he would either grow out of it or that school would pick it up. At the end of last term his teacher told me he was becoming disruptive and we discussed an IEP which was to be put in place in September. Initially I was happy that she was offering me a solution rather than simply calling him naughty. I have now found out that his new teacher has not implemented the IEP (not sure why) but still labels him disruptive. Whilst I understand that his behaviour is unacceptable I worry that the teacher is not interested in him, only in having an easier life. He does not like football but instead prefers reading history books and cooking. When I pointed out that he struggles to make friends her response was that he should play football like the other boys! How can I help them see life from his point of view? Might he have some other needs? He is actually very intelligent so doesn't need support with learning, only with behaviour/social skills. It seems she isn't bothered that nobody lets him join in as it's his fault.

[Mariesthename]

Thanks so much for your advice. When I looks at Aspergers websites he seems to have so many of the traits. My attitude is that if we have a diagnosis then at least people won't view him just as a "problem" child and presumably we can then look at strategies for helping him. My husband, on the other hand, thinks it's wrong to label him and says as long as we support him that should be enough!

[UnChartered]

DD (5yrs) has diagnosis of ASD, she is very high functioning so we call it Aspergers. We also found it very important to get her 'label' so that we could use that to access the correct support for her.

if your DS is diagnosed, you can choose who to share that information with - it won't change who he is.

I agree with the advice about going to GP to talk about your concerns, IMO it's far better to do more research and then make the decision whether to go for assessment etc.

keep reading and posting

[Mariesthename]

Another worry I have is that we currently live overseas (although he is in a British School) and are planning to move back to the UK next year. Would a diagnosis mean I would struggle to find him a school place? I am keen for my boys to go to the same school if possible. On the other hand, perhaps a diagnosis would make it easier than just having "problem child" written on all his school files?

[Ineedalife]

Hi maria, My dd3 was diagnosed with ASD last year on her 9th birthday. We had a struggle to get her difficulties recognised and although she wasnt labelled as naughty my parenting had been called into question on numerous occasions.

We havent found any negative things about having a diagnosis. So far all that has happened is that her needs have been recognised and strategies have been put into place to support her.

She is still the same child but now we know why she does what she does.

Good luck