Hi, I joined mumsnet today and would be grateful for your advice and input.
I apologise in advance for the extremely LONG post.
My sons (5years & 2years) and I moved to Hertfordshire a few months ago, away from their violent & aggressive father.
Prior to moving, my older son (then 4years old) started having problems in school. He came home everyday with a report that he had hit or pushed someone or been naughty etc. On one occasion he went off and hid under a table when told off. And then told his teacher that his dad had been hitting me. I was well embarrassed when the teacher mentioned this to me.
Based on the surrounding circumstances, I assumed my son's behaviour was as a result of the home environment he was in and possibly the move to a state school (with bigger classes). He had been to a private nursery previously and he was a little star there. I believed if I took him out of the home situation and also put him back into an independent school all would be well.
Of course, I knew he was going to miss his dad and I wasn't expecting an overnight transformation.
We did move eventually and I found a small pre-prep school for the 2 boys as I now had to work my hardest to earn all the money I could for our upkeep, accommodation and school fees!
I had been upfront with this new school and they kindly offered me 15% bursary on the fees. I didn't have a penny but I was determined to get the money and I had faith.
And you can imagine how excited I was when my son began to flourish in his new school. He was even given a merit award at assembly and I was invited to watch. Not once was I informed that he was bad in school.
Then during the second term, the headteacher started hounding me to pay more. She said she couldn't give me the bursary forever. To this, I replied that I couldn't pay more immediately but I was doing my best to increase my income in the long term.
Then she brought out the joker - she said my son had said some unkind things to some girls whose parents were now threatening to leave her school. And there was no way she could lose full fee paying parents for our sake!
Anyway, we left it at that.
No further mention was made about my son's behaviour in school and he continued to bring the good reports home - mainly on his academic performance.
Then the final blow came when one day I took my son to school as normal and I was asked to take him home with me. They could no longer have him. According to the headteacher, they simply did not have the resources for him!
I was going to try another prep school but then after contacting previous school for references they concluded that they were not the right school for my son.
I cannot bear to watch my child rejected again. He's such a bright boy but I feel his confidence has been slightly knocked.
I so want him to have a full life.
I have considered home-educating but I'm terrified that I would be depriving him of a normal life.
I have taken him to our GP to be referred for an assessment but he clearly said that could take a while if at all they do take his case up.
I am now looking for a private Education Psychologist, hopefully I will get an unbiased assessment of his behaviour / personality and next steps...
Where do I go from here?
Thanks in advance for your recommendations & suggestions.
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Please HELP!!! 5year old son rejected...
15 replies
debbiewonders · 12/10/2012 15:42
OP posts:
zzzzz ·
12/10/2012 17:02
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zzzzz ·
12/10/2012 18:55
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