Meeting with School

[sweetteamum]

Ok, so to quickly update here.

DD is 11, just gone up to secondary school. un dx'd ASD, Dyslexia and language is significantly delayed. I am awaiting a decision on the LA assessing/statementing her.

She is really struggling with attending school, because of her anxieties as well as saying 'she can't cope' (which I think means all the added pressure and homework). She's also said she is finding the change between classrooms hard too. She is 'coping' in school but completely releases as soon as she leaves.

She has had alot of time off already so I asked the school for their help, in how I could get her in.

They have said there are 2 TA's in her lessons who take/follow her between lessons but they are for the statemented children, so really can't use them for a long term solution.

They have said there are 2 particular days that DD seems to be in - i'm presuming they think there's as pattern building??

They asked if I had tried to get her into school (of course I bloody have!!)

They have said that Education Welfare will be getting involved - i'm presuming this is a polite way of backing me into a corner.

I have told them of DD difficulties and impending assessments and they've not said there's anything to be put in place for her, based on these reports - they are giving her 1 hour per week, in a seperate class of 8, to do English & Maths.

Apparently there's nothing more they can do, especially until they get advice from all agencies involved.

I am lost and feel I have made a huge mistake in sending her there. They didn't seem clued up on DD particular difficulties and were not going to put anything in place to help DD go back into school- That's my job as their 'hands are tied'

I did suggest her going in part-time when she can cope, as it's better than nothing. They will think about it but it's not something they want to do as it's giving her the impression that she can choose!

I'm lost and don't know what to do or where to turn :(

[Ineedalife]

Hi sweet, it is ridiculous that they are saying that they are giving her the impression she can chose. That indicates to me that they have no idea about her levels of anxiety, they are thinking that she just doesnt fancy school today.

I am sorry to say this but if they are really this clueless, you might be having to look for another school.

Is HE an option for you while the rest of her assessments are completed? It is possible though I am doubtful that if she gets a firm Dx, this school might be able to pull something out of the bag.

In the meantime, let them contact the EWO, get them round and discuss with them the issues your Dd has with anxiety, the EWO might have come across this before and be able to offer you some support.

I am sorry that you and your Dd are having to go through this, keep coming on here fro support.

Good luck

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'They will think about it but it's not something they want to do as it's giving her the impression that she can choose!'

This is a bloody stupid thing to say, - it's not as if their current strategy is working is it, or that they have any better ideas.

Of course she has a choice. She has a choice about pretty much everything. The key to getting her back into school is to make it the more palatable option TO HER, - and that means identifying and supporting her needs.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Ask them what they are doing to make her WANT to come back to their school!

[sweetteamum]

it is ridiculous that they are saying that they are giving her the impression she can chose. That indicates to me that they have no idea about her levels of anxiety, they are thinking that she just doesnt fancy school today

I really don't think they've got a clue as DD is so 'together' at school. I have told them the experts dealing with dd have said this is normal, but they don't want to believe it until someone 'with authority' or DD herself, tells them!

I am sorry to say this but if they are really this clueless, you might be having to look for another school.

I wouldn't have a clue where to start looking for other schools, with a good reputation for SEN or SS - alot of these schools 'talk' like they're experienced but in reality this school definitely seems to know very little about ASD

Is HE an option for you while the rest of her assessments are completed?

Again, I don't know anything about HE and am worried that assessments couldn't carry on and the LEA would be happy to leave me be.

Of course she has a choice. She has a choice about pretty much everything. The key to getting her back into school is to make it the more palatable option TO HER, - and that means identifying and supporting her needs.

She has been so happy at home, which then makes me feel like she's really unhappy at school. She's had much less 'outbursts' or 'tantrums' and you wouldn't think she's particularly anxious. I have tried to talk to her about school and she keeps saying she's not going back. Obviously, I don't want to give her the impression it's ok to give up on things but i'm not prepared to keep her in a position which is ruining family/life

[sweetteamum]

Sorry to 'bump' but does anyone know how to go about HE whilst assessments are being done.

[mariamma]

Don't HE officially. Let her be 'off' and let the EWO come in. But keep her on the scademic treadmill at home so she isn't too cosy

You can ask the school to set work, and lend textbooks, or even just google the national curriculum subjects and use library books etc.

[sweetteamum]

Oh right, good job you said that. I'd of just told them

They've said "they're not obliged to give her any work, as she's not off sick" so I know I'll have to do some research myself.

Thank you.

[wasuup3000]

Goto your GP and explain the situation ask him to write a letter explaining your daughters anxieties and why she is finding it difficult to attend schhol. Then the school will have to send work for her and you are covered when they get the school attendance officer involved.

[sweetteamum]

Thanks wasuup - I've booked an appointment for DD, with the Doctor this afternoon. I am going to encourage her to talk but have a feeling it's me that will be explaining (I just don't want to look like i'm speaking for her, without giving her the chance). Do you think the Dr would give her a note covering absence so far? or am I wasting my time asking

[KOKOagainandagain]

DS has been signed off by his GP just using a standard sick note. This should be enough for the school to record absences as authorised. You need to know how long you want DD signed off for. Tell GP awaiting outcome of assessement. I got a month for starters but will return for more if consultant letter not sufficient. LEA have to provide 5 hours per week tuition but want consultant authorisation.

Given DD's age GP will want to speak to her directly. Bite your tongue and don't answer for her. Take reports with you - GPs are not routinely sent information regarding SpLD. Don't be fobbed off. Some health authorities send out letters to remind GPs that they have no legal responsibility to certify sickness in DC.

[sweetteamum]

DS has been signed off by his GP just using a standard sick note. This should be enough for the school to record absences as authorised. You need to know how long you want DD signed off for. Tell GP awaiting outcome of assessement. I got a month for starters but will return for more if consultant letter not sufficient. LEA have to provide 5 hours per week tuition but want consultant authorisation.

Did your Dr suggest signing your DS off or did you ask him? I thought I was quite pushy but didn't get anywhere, as theres a note on DD's file to say not to treat her, without going through camhs first.

So, lovely Dr, who completely understood called camhs and asked for a call back. Usual lady is on holiday so she got the Duty Officer, who was horrible and said they can't do anything as lady is on holiday and the only way they would see her would be in crisis. Dr wasn't happy with that and made her feelings very clear.

Dr was very apologetic but couldn't suggest anything else. I hadn't read your messag in time, so hadn't even remembered to ask for a sick note!