Talk

Advanced search

Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

I can't get her to do anything

(13 Posts)
sweetteamum Mon 24-Sep-12 08:23:48

Ok, I know that I'm the adult and she's the child. Change is hard for every child but especially more challenging when said child seems to be scared of change aswell as this bloody rain.

I'm not expecting any miraculous ways to "fix" her (if only) but I just can't get her into school sad I'm beginning to think I'm useless.

She's completely heartbroken and I have no answers sad

claw4 Mon 24-Sep-12 08:34:11

Sweetteamum, its difficult isnt it sad

Does your dd usually enjoy school? What is your dd upset about?

Ds came out of school on Friday sobbing his heart out sad I felt so powerless too

sweetteamum Mon 24-Sep-12 09:25:26

It's awful claw, it really is sad I hope you got to the bottom of it.

Dd is really really terrified of the rain (of all things) and isn't coping with added pressures and changing around that high school bring.

How do you console your ds?

UnChartered Mon 24-Sep-12 09:28:27

brew all round

today has presented a whole new set of trials for us hasn't it?

just because it's raining.

how old is your DD, OP? on days where we struggle with 'normal' stuff i shut the curtains, and have a total lockdown, then concentrate on things we can do.

even if it's using the remote control independently

sweetteamum Mon 24-Sep-12 09:36:05

Thanks for the brew I'm going to put 3 heaped spoonfuls of sugar in blush

Dd is 11 and has had so much time off y7 already. I'm going to have education welfare at my door soon, which is adding more stress.

Dd is currently on her laptop playing games and calm for now. How long for, I just don't know.

UnChartered Mon 24-Sep-12 09:40:07

i take it DD has sensory issues?

as for EW, have you thought about asking them for help, before it gets to the 'in trouble' stage?

i know some people are very wary of calling professionals in for help in this sort of issue, but if it's worded and managed BY you, it can make a world of difference.

<puts toast on>

claw4 Mon 24-Sep-12 09:43:24

Yes it was pretty easy, ds was very vocal about what had upset him, not understanding what the teacher was saying or what he was supposed to be doing and getting no work done. He had a 3 day build up to this ie telling me for 3 days that he doesnt know what to think of in Literacy, doesnt do any work, then gets a detention, before he broke down sad

All i can do for the moment is a big hug and try to take his mind off of it, im in the process of trying to deal with the root cause, school, who are denying that he has any difficulties. Still thats another story!

But with your problem ds used to have a real water phobia too, not so much rain, but just water in general.

We went to a sensory swimming pool for 3 days, then swimming very slowly, some days we never even got into the pool! This summer ds had a paddling pool in the garden for the first time ever.

So gradually exposing ds more to water really helped.

Rain is very unpredictable isnt it and a sudden change? Could you check the weather report each day, so if it is going to rain, your dd expects it? This might help to reduce a bit of anxiety.

An umbrella that your dd knows the whereabouts of at all times, in case it does?

A written plan, ie we check the forecast, if it rains we stay inside if possible, if not we use the umbrella, if doesnt we dont kind of thing?

sweetteamum Mon 24-Sep-12 11:57:31

as for EW, have you thought about asking them for help, before it gets to the 'in trouble' stage?

I am phoning school each day and told various people the situation. They all know i'm desperate to get her back into school.

i take it DD has sensory issues?

Yes she has, and the noise of the rain is a huge issue for her.

*Rain is very unpredictable isnt it and a sudden change? Could you check the weather report each day, so if it is going to rain, your dd expects it? This might help to reduce a bit of anxiety.

An umbrella that your dd knows the whereabouts of at all times, in case it does?

A written plan, ie we check the forecast, if it rains we stay inside if possible, if not we use the umbrella, if doesnt we dont kind of thing?*

I think this is something we are going to have to encourage, just to prepare for the weather rather than completely avoiding the conversation.

ouryve Mon 24-Sep-12 12:16:29

Of course, a brolly is about as much use as a chocolate teapot on a day like today.

Despite the weather and the general mondayness of today, I managed to get DS1 to school nice and calm, this morning, even if we did end up a few minutes late. I pulled out his winter coat, which is a proper waterproof skiwear jobby with a zip all the way up to his chin to hold his hood up and insisted he wore his waterproof trousers and wellies.

I suspect your DD might feel a bit dorky in full waterproofs, given her age, but she might not care if she feels she has the power to completely shut the rain out.

UnChartered Mon 24-Sep-12 12:34:30

DD is only 5 but one of her obsessions is the weather the seasons - we have a weather picture on her schedule to help her mentally prepare for what sort of day it's going to be

i second the idea of full wet-weather gear - and could she wear earmuffs under a hood, that may block out some of the noise?

slight change of direction here (apols) claw was it yourself who was looking at a new school? i think i bumped into you on 'SEN' a few weeks back?

claw4 Mon 24-Sep-12 12:45:53

Yes Unchartered it was.

UnChartered Mon 24-Sep-12 13:02:19

any progress on that?

DD started her new one last week, we've moved up to half days as of today

got a meeting with the SENCO tomorrow

claw4 Mon 24-Sep-12 13:28:45

Its a long way off unchartered, i was hoping to get it named in a statement, but still only at SA refusal stage.

Great that you are moved up to half days smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now