I can't get her to do anything

[sweetteamum]

Ok, I know that I'm the adult and she's the child. Change is hard for every child but especially more challenging when said child seems to be scared of change aswell as this bloody rain.

I'm not expecting any miraculous ways to "fix" her (if only) but I just can't get her into school :( I'm beginning to think I'm useless.

She's completely heartbroken and I have no answers :(

[claw4]

Sweetteamum, its difficult isnt it

Does your dd usually enjoy school? What is your dd upset about?

Ds came out of school on Friday sobbing his heart out I felt so powerless too

[sweetteamum]

It's awful claw, it really is :( I hope you got to the bottom of it.

Dd is really really terrified of the rain (of all things) and isn't coping with added pressures and changing around that high school bring.

How do you console your ds?

[UnChartered]

all round

today has presented a whole new set of trials for us hasn't it?

just because it's raining.

how old is your DD, OP? on days where we struggle with 'normal' stuff i shut the curtains, and have a total lockdown, then concentrate on things we can do.

even if it's using the remote control independently

[sweetteamum]

Thanks for the I'm going to put 3 heaped spoonfuls of sugar in

Dd is 11 and has had so much time off y7 already. I'm going to have education welfare at my door soon, which is adding more stress.

Dd is currently on her laptop playing games and calm for now. How long for, I just don't know.

[UnChartered]

i take it DD has sensory issues?

as for EW, have you thought about asking them for help, before it gets to the 'in trouble' stage?

i know some people are very wary of calling professionals in for help in this sort of issue, but if it's worded and managed BY you, it can make a world of difference.

[claw4]

Yes it was pretty easy, ds was very vocal about what had upset him, not understanding what the teacher was saying or what he was supposed to be doing and getting no work done. He had a 3 day build up to this ie telling me for 3 days that he doesnt know what to think of in Literacy, doesnt do any work, then gets a detention, before he broke down

All i can do for the moment is a big hug and try to take his mind off of it, im in the process of trying to deal with the root cause, school, who are denying that he has any difficulties. Still thats another story!

But with your problem ds used to have a real water phobia too, not so much rain, but just water in general.

We went to a sensory swimming pool for 3 days, then swimming very slowly, some days we never even got into the pool! This summer ds had a paddling pool in the garden for the first time ever.

So gradually exposing ds more to water really helped.

Rain is very unpredictable isnt it and a sudden change? Could you check the weather report each day, so if it is going to rain, your dd expects it? This might help to reduce a bit of anxiety.

An umbrella that your dd knows the whereabouts of at all times, in case it does?

A written plan, ie we check the forecast, if it rains we stay inside if possible, if not we use the umbrella, if doesnt we dont kind of thing?

[sweetteamum]

as for EW, have you thought about asking them for help, before it gets to the 'in trouble' stage?

I am phoning school each day and told various people the situation. They all know i'm desperate to get her back into school.

i take it DD has sensory issues?

Yes she has, and the noise of the rain is a huge issue for her.

Rain is very unpredictable isnt it and a sudden change? Could you check the weather report each day, so if it is going to rain, your dd expects it? This might help to reduce a bit of anxiety.

An umbrella that your dd knows the whereabouts of at all times, in case it does?

A written plan, ie we check the forecast, if it rains we stay inside if possible, if not we use the umbrella, if doesnt we dont kind of thing?

I think this is something we are going to have to encourage, just to prepare for the weather rather than completely avoiding the conversation.

[ouryve]

Of course, a brolly is about as much use as a chocolate teapot on a day like today.

Despite the weather and the general mondayness of today, I managed to get DS1 to school nice and calm, this morning, even if we did end up a few minutes late. I pulled out his winter coat, which is a proper waterproof skiwear jobby with a zip all the way up to his chin to hold his hood up and insisted he wore his waterproof trousers and wellies.

I suspect your DD might feel a bit dorky in full waterproofs, given her age, but she might not care if she feels she has the power to completely shut the rain out.

[UnChartered]

DD is only 5 but one of her obsessions is the weather the seasons - we have a weather picture on her schedule to help her mentally prepare for what sort of day it's going to be

i second the idea of full wet-weather gear - and could she wear earmuffs under a hood, that may block out some of the noise?

slight change of direction here (apols) claw was it yourself who was looking at a new school? i think i bumped into you on 'SEN' a few weeks back?

[claw4]

Yes Unchartered it was.

[UnChartered]

any progress on that?

DD started her new one last week, we've moved up to half days as of today

got a meeting with the SENCO tomorrow

[claw4]

Its a long way off unchartered, i was hoping to get it named in a statement, but still only at SA refusal stage.

Great that you are moved up to half days